i know it's something we all dread - to have a part of your life taken away and then completely realtered. You and i know we only fear it because we don't know what's going to happen; and uncertainty is the only thing keeping us from being brave.
my mom told me that being greedy was not going to help me. it's too bad i never fully comprehended that advice, because she was right. When i was greedy to the world, the world was greedy to me as well; it took more from me than i wanted to take from it.
yet the most predictable thing about life is it's unpredictability - how it always changes and moves on, whether you like it or are ready for it or not.
so yet again i've reached a revelation in my life where i'm gonna let this change in my life happen, and just go with the flow of life. afterall, it has never failed me before.
taking a leap into the unknown is well ... scary. but i know i can summon up the courage to do what i need to. :)
aj.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
The Entertainer
ALL HAIL ADAM LAMBERT!!! hahaha.
Adam Lambert (who is undoubtedly my single most favourite male artist in the world) stole the night during the AMAs (American Music Awards) with his sexy and daring performance of his new single For Your Entertainment (click for a song link :D)
yet, some people ask; Did the gay American Idol runner-up go too far?
In his performance, he grabs crotches, pulls girls across the floor, and kisses a guy. Too much for primetime TV? perhaps. But if Adam were not gay, and he kissed a girl, or grabbed her crotch, no one would've made a big deal. When Madonna and Britney made out it wasn't as big a deal as this one. One guy actually said "no one gets turned on seeing 2 guys kissing on national TV, its actually a turn off." - well hello, would he say that if he saw 2 girls kissing? haha.
when asked if he was going to apologise for his performance that got him banned from Good Morning America, he simply said "no. i'm an entertainer." hats off to him baby.
that aside, Adam's performance was a great one. He could've had better choreography but it was already very suited to the beats, the rhythm and the mood of the song. Vocally Adam is still as powerful as ever, though it doesn't show as much as it does in some of the performances in Americal Idol. I have absolutely nothing to say about his clothes because my jaw dropped in marvel at how HOTTTT he looked. the spike on the left shoulder, the thick guy-liner. omg!
all in all, a 4 star performance for a 5 star song! :D
entertain us he did, with that powerful and lol, raunchy performance. take a look for yourself and create your own opinions. don't let society create them for ya. :)
Adam Lambert (who is undoubtedly my single most favourite male artist in the world) stole the night during the AMAs (American Music Awards) with his sexy and daring performance of his new single For Your Entertainment (click for a song link :D)
yet, some people ask; Did the gay American Idol runner-up go too far?
In his performance, he grabs crotches, pulls girls across the floor, and kisses a guy. Too much for primetime TV? perhaps. But if Adam were not gay, and he kissed a girl, or grabbed her crotch, no one would've made a big deal. When Madonna and Britney made out it wasn't as big a deal as this one. One guy actually said "no one gets turned on seeing 2 guys kissing on national TV, its actually a turn off." - well hello, would he say that if he saw 2 girls kissing? haha.
when asked if he was going to apologise for his performance that got him banned from Good Morning America, he simply said "no. i'm an entertainer." hats off to him baby.
that aside, Adam's performance was a great one. He could've had better choreography but it was already very suited to the beats, the rhythm and the mood of the song. Vocally Adam is still as powerful as ever, though it doesn't show as much as it does in some of the performances in Americal Idol. I have absolutely nothing to say about his clothes because my jaw dropped in marvel at how HOTTTT he looked. the spike on the left shoulder, the thick guy-liner. omg!
all in all, a 4 star performance for a 5 star song! :D
entertain us he did, with that powerful and lol, raunchy performance. take a look for yourself and create your own opinions. don't let society create them for ya. :)
standing at a crossroads.
dear blog, i'm stuck with a little dillemna right now. i know it doesn't always happen to me cuz i know what i want, but this time round, i have to pick between 2 very important priorities in life; work, and school...
you see, in order to be able to pay off my 2.5k debts, i have to work at least 29 hours in a week (that's 5 days of work at night) and earn enough to support me throughout the month, as well as slowly pay off these debts. I've been struggling and dragging all these payments for too long already. I ought to just finish them now.
I know i'm only 19 and my focus should not be on working, but i did what i did i.e. made mistakes that cost me bigtime, and now i have to be mature and resolve my mistakes.
the only problem is that, with more time spent at work, i have lesser time to spend on schoolwork. this leads to a catastrophic chain of downward spiraling grades etc etc.... well you know.
so right now i have to choose; do i want to settle my debts sooner, or should i just quit/work less to be able to get my schoolwork done?
what should i do? i know the right thing would be to focus on education blah blah blah. we all know how that goes. but put yourself in my shoes for a sec - having to budget yourself to only 1.30 cents a day and not eating as much as possible to save money each day. its tough. your body doesnt become very healthy either.
lol. im really confused. i kinda feel like quitting my job (which is what i kinda wanna do) but if i do, what's am i gonna do about the money i owe people? hahaha.
well i guess everything happens for a reason. i just have to trust that things will fall into place.
dear blog, wish me luck. lol
you see, in order to be able to pay off my 2.5k debts, i have to work at least 29 hours in a week (that's 5 days of work at night) and earn enough to support me throughout the month, as well as slowly pay off these debts. I've been struggling and dragging all these payments for too long already. I ought to just finish them now.
I know i'm only 19 and my focus should not be on working, but i did what i did i.e. made mistakes that cost me bigtime, and now i have to be mature and resolve my mistakes.
the only problem is that, with more time spent at work, i have lesser time to spend on schoolwork. this leads to a catastrophic chain of downward spiraling grades etc etc.... well you know.
so right now i have to choose; do i want to settle my debts sooner, or should i just quit/work less to be able to get my schoolwork done?
what should i do? i know the right thing would be to focus on education blah blah blah. we all know how that goes. but put yourself in my shoes for a sec - having to budget yourself to only 1.30 cents a day and not eating as much as possible to save money each day. its tough. your body doesnt become very healthy either.
lol. im really confused. i kinda feel like quitting my job (which is what i kinda wanna do) but if i do, what's am i gonna do about the money i owe people? hahaha.
well i guess everything happens for a reason. i just have to trust that things will fall into place.
dear blog, wish me luck. lol
Saturday, November 28, 2009
a new phone and a new discovery!
I didn't expect i'd be going, neither did i expect to get anything from it; but yes, today i went to the IT fair at Singapore Expo. It was ridisculously crowded with people succumbing to their primitive insticts of being vultures and hyenas when they see good bargains and/or cheap prices - especially Singaporeans.
To be honest, i thought i'd be seeing a room full of nerds/geeks and nerds/geeks alone. To some extent i was right, because even the sales personel looked like they spent their whole lives facing the computer screen and not the mirror. lol.
I was wrong however, because amongst the crowd i saw many lookers, some in tank tops, some in tight fitting clothes, some real cuties and some drop dead gorgeous people. Heck, there were even people cruising in the toilet!
And it made me realize something - that my stereotypes of events like these is indeed and absolutely not true. Just because i picture tech-savvy people to be wide-framed-bescpectabled, pimple-flooded, and bad-oral hygiene people; doesn't make it true. It just made me rethink my stereotypes of the industry.
And come on, lets face it. In this century, our lives cannot exist without the IT people. In many ways it made me appreciate the people that go into making our lives more convenient and borderless.
Our shopping list for the day - A lenovo laptop for Huckle, an iPod nano for my mommy, and a 5 mega-pixel LG phone for me. I know what you're thinking - "omg, LG phone? SUCKS LOR!"
but alas, the only reason i need a phone is to be able to call, sms, maybe surf the net and most importantly, to take good shots. And this phone seems to do it well. plus, it's PINK! .......... ish. Lol.
Although I had to depart with the phone that has been serving me very well for the past 10 months or so, i had something to gain in the end. All things DO workout afterall. At least now I dont have an excuse NOT TO take pics and flood this blog with em. haha
and in conclusion, i'm glad that i am in a stage of my life where i am seeing past literally almost every stereotype i have and learn to execpt the fact that all of us are human beings, unique and special in ways we ourselves cannot contemplate. Not just in the IT industry, but in every situation, and in every case. Labelling people does not help you understand or "categorise" them.
perhaps its about time you moved on from your stereotypes too?
cheers, aj
To be honest, i thought i'd be seeing a room full of nerds/geeks and nerds/geeks alone. To some extent i was right, because even the sales personel looked like they spent their whole lives facing the computer screen and not the mirror. lol.
I was wrong however, because amongst the crowd i saw many lookers, some in tank tops, some in tight fitting clothes, some real cuties and some drop dead gorgeous people. Heck, there were even people cruising in the toilet!
And it made me realize something - that my stereotypes of events like these is indeed and absolutely not true. Just because i picture tech-savvy people to be wide-framed-bescpectabled, pimple-flooded, and bad-oral hygiene people; doesn't make it true. It just made me rethink my stereotypes of the industry.
And come on, lets face it. In this century, our lives cannot exist without the IT people. In many ways it made me appreciate the people that go into making our lives more convenient and borderless.
Our shopping list for the day - A lenovo laptop for Huckle, an iPod nano for my mommy, and a 5 mega-pixel LG phone for me. I know what you're thinking - "omg, LG phone? SUCKS LOR!"
but alas, the only reason i need a phone is to be able to call, sms, maybe surf the net and most importantly, to take good shots. And this phone seems to do it well. plus, it's PINK! .......... ish. Lol.
Although I had to depart with the phone that has been serving me very well for the past 10 months or so, i had something to gain in the end. All things DO workout afterall. At least now I dont have an excuse NOT TO take pics and flood this blog with em. haha
and in conclusion, i'm glad that i am in a stage of my life where i am seeing past literally almost every stereotype i have and learn to execpt the fact that all of us are human beings, unique and special in ways we ourselves cannot contemplate. Not just in the IT industry, but in every situation, and in every case. Labelling people does not help you understand or "categorise" them.
perhaps its about time you moved on from your stereotypes too?
cheers, aj
Friday, November 13, 2009
goodbye social life!
as much as i love the way i live my social life, what with all the ppl i meet and stuff i do, sometimes life just does not allow you to have everything go your way. Simply put, circumstances in our lives force us to make decisions - decisions based on importance. Inevitably I must chose what's right and be mature about what decision i make. It's about time anyway.
unfortunately, i never took this job to spend on myself. i work to satisfy others and clear my name, if you know what i mean. haha. so for the next 6 months or so, i'll have to say goodbye to my social life to make more time for work/school and save the cash from the vigorous spenditure of my socialising. haha
still hope i can get that guitar next month though! I mean i gotta keep something for myself too right? lol
sorry buddies, i wont be able to hang as much for a while... :(
yea.
unfortunately, i never took this job to spend on myself. i work to satisfy others and clear my name, if you know what i mean. haha. so for the next 6 months or so, i'll have to say goodbye to my social life to make more time for work/school and save the cash from the vigorous spenditure of my socialising. haha
still hope i can get that guitar next month though! I mean i gotta keep something for myself too right? lol
sorry buddies, i wont be able to hang as much for a while... :(
yea.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Equality Before Equal Rights.
The other day I was thinking. I asked myself why until now I got no bf - i came up with a million reasons but that's not the point.
There is so much fuss these days, about equal rights in the homosexual community. In Singapore though, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal, although us GAY people are starting to step out into society more and more openly.
I once questioned if one of my life's purpose is to fight for equality FOR the gay people in this country. Why though, would I want to do that? Is it cuz of the fame? the chance to live MY life freely? the attention I could create? Or just because I feel strongly about it?
Then i remembered fighting for LGBT rights is fighting FOR the LGBT people. And its here that i hit my wall. "Why seh, should i fight for them?" - i asked myself. When I took myself out of the picture and just looked, i saw that us homosexuals dont even see ourselves as equals, let alone to have others see us as equals in society. I don't know why, but many many gay guys I know are as shallow as the puddle that forms after the rain next to the lonkang, along the roadside. They judge each other's looks, gender, mannerism, physicality, RACE, and such. People are just physical objects and no longer human beings that have emotions thoughts.
I talk to my gay friends and this is exactly the criteria they judge their potential life/sex partners to be. So in many ways, we discrimnate each other first in purely physical ways that the straight world has been able to somewhat overcome (or so it seems).
I thought that of all the people, gay people would be the ones not to judge other people and accept them for who they are. Turns out, its the other way around. Its kinda ironic, but we have ourselves have become a society of judgemental and discriminating people. The very thing gay people around the world are fighting AGAINST.
Now I am not resistant to this society. I myself have been judgemental and discriminating people. But for once, I can take myself out of the picture and see what it is I am doing. A huge slap on my face. Somehow I feel and wonder, that if i did not behave like this, I would not fit into this society - something I kinda dread.
All these made me realize, that if there is any society that needs to have its mindset changed, its the gay people themselves. Why would the world accept a society of people that judge themselves yet seek not to be judged by others outside the society? Wouldn't that be hipocracy? Human nature I guess, but we are beings that have choices - we chose what we want to believe in and what we want to accept. Because of that, there is no doubt that we can look past the physical and accept people for who they really are; chubby,slim, open, passive, chinese, indian, malay or otherwise.
maybe someday I'll see these things not to be true, and have a broader picture - at least i hope I will.
p.s. all these references are taken in a local context, i have yet to experience the culture of international gay societies.
cheers.
aj
There is so much fuss these days, about equal rights in the homosexual community. In Singapore though, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal, although us GAY people are starting to step out into society more and more openly.
I once questioned if one of my life's purpose is to fight for equality FOR the gay people in this country. Why though, would I want to do that? Is it cuz of the fame? the chance to live MY life freely? the attention I could create? Or just because I feel strongly about it?
Then i remembered fighting for LGBT rights is fighting FOR the LGBT people. And its here that i hit my wall. "Why seh, should i fight for them?" - i asked myself. When I took myself out of the picture and just looked, i saw that us homosexuals dont even see ourselves as equals, let alone to have others see us as equals in society. I don't know why, but many many gay guys I know are as shallow as the puddle that forms after the rain next to the lonkang, along the roadside. They judge each other's looks, gender, mannerism, physicality, RACE, and such. People are just physical objects and no longer human beings that have emotions thoughts.
I talk to my gay friends and this is exactly the criteria they judge their potential life/sex partners to be. So in many ways, we discrimnate each other first in purely physical ways that the straight world has been able to somewhat overcome (or so it seems).
I thought that of all the people, gay people would be the ones not to judge other people and accept them for who they are. Turns out, its the other way around. Its kinda ironic, but we have ourselves have become a society of judgemental and discriminating people. The very thing gay people around the world are fighting AGAINST.
Now I am not resistant to this society. I myself have been judgemental and discriminating people. But for once, I can take myself out of the picture and see what it is I am doing. A huge slap on my face. Somehow I feel and wonder, that if i did not behave like this, I would not fit into this society - something I kinda dread.
All these made me realize, that if there is any society that needs to have its mindset changed, its the gay people themselves. Why would the world accept a society of people that judge themselves yet seek not to be judged by others outside the society? Wouldn't that be hipocracy? Human nature I guess, but we are beings that have choices - we chose what we want to believe in and what we want to accept. Because of that, there is no doubt that we can look past the physical and accept people for who they really are; chubby,slim, open, passive, chinese, indian, malay or otherwise.
maybe someday I'll see these things not to be true, and have a broader picture - at least i hope I will.
p.s. all these references are taken in a local context, i have yet to experience the culture of international gay societies.
cheers.
aj
Monday, October 19, 2009
Running After Money.
It's my 6th day of work already, so that means I've been working 6 days out of the possible 7 in a week. Wow. Anyways today - or maybe I should say yesterday, considering it's past 12 am - was supposed to be my off day. But yesterday my supervisor requested i work today as well. Even after denying the idea initially and explaining to him that I had school the following day, he still was persistent. He said this one thing to psycho me "can la... earn a little bit more money only lor," so there you have it. I went to work today so that an extra 15 bucks or so could be added to my wallet. -.-
Nonetheless, it was an interesting experience. I don't think many new guys get to be a food runner in their first week, like I was today. My name was not on the initial list, so the supervisor just added me under the 'food runner collumn'. It's not as easy as it seems okay! There are so many items on the menu and i kept on having to ask the chefs what it was I was serving. This one chef probably got irritated and then chose not to reply me. He pointed to receipt instead, which stated the short form of the food I was carrying. Ok la, at least now I know how to identify the food I serve now.
My one screw-up today was how i held the hot plate. Apparently you're supposed to hold it with your forearm below the wooden platform and ur palm supporting it, with the side where there is no sauce facing you. I held it with my fingers at the sides... lol. The plate was damn hot can? I knew it would be hot, BUT MAN that was FLAME GRILLING HOTNESS! I burnt my fingers carrying out to the customer lol. Furthermore, the sauce was splattering all around (because it's poured onto the hot plate and it starts sizzling) and i got minor burns on my forearms as well. Lol. My supervisor caught me and after a short discussion with the other supervisor, he brought me back into the kitchen and taught me how to hold it.
I told myself to remain motivated in this job and keep on doing my best even though I may be new and suck at lots of things - that's exactly what I did today. I managed to get past the initial blurness and then picked up my pace to match the rest of my co-workers. A buddy of mine helped me by teaching what I should do and how. I wanted a waiter's job, so now I huess I have to deal with whatever shit I may get from doing this.
My first waitering job and despite all the setbacks, I'm still lovin' what I do! :D
Nonetheless, it was an interesting experience. I don't think many new guys get to be a food runner in their first week, like I was today. My name was not on the initial list, so the supervisor just added me under the 'food runner collumn'. It's not as easy as it seems okay! There are so many items on the menu and i kept on having to ask the chefs what it was I was serving. This one chef probably got irritated and then chose not to reply me. He pointed to receipt instead, which stated the short form of the food I was carrying. Ok la, at least now I know how to identify the food I serve now.
My one screw-up today was how i held the hot plate. Apparently you're supposed to hold it with your forearm below the wooden platform and ur palm supporting it, with the side where there is no sauce facing you. I held it with my fingers at the sides... lol. The plate was damn hot can? I knew it would be hot, BUT MAN that was FLAME GRILLING HOTNESS! I burnt my fingers carrying out to the customer lol. Furthermore, the sauce was splattering all around (because it's poured onto the hot plate and it starts sizzling) and i got minor burns on my forearms as well. Lol. My supervisor caught me and after a short discussion with the other supervisor, he brought me back into the kitchen and taught me how to hold it.
I told myself to remain motivated in this job and keep on doing my best even though I may be new and suck at lots of things - that's exactly what I did today. I managed to get past the initial blurness and then picked up my pace to match the rest of my co-workers. A buddy of mine helped me by teaching what I should do and how. I wanted a waiter's job, so now I huess I have to deal with whatever shit I may get from doing this.
My first waitering job and despite all the setbacks, I'm still lovin' what I do! :D
Sunday, October 11, 2009
To my bearbear.
That's right. This post is for you. You seem so adamant on letting the entire world know about us in your blog, I didn't think you'd mind me having this one post to tell everyone that reads this blog (there are not many so no worries).
I have been waiting my whole life for someone to fill that emptiness I've always felt. To be honest, I thought you'd fill that void. When James first introduced you to me, he pm-ed me seperately from our conference and told me;
"aj. don't let this one slip away."
"why?"
"well you wanted a bf. this could be your chance."
You said you started smiling again after you met me, I could see in those beautiful eyes how much you wanted me. You made me smile again after a long time too, but that smile was in no way strong enough to overcome what I felt in my heart - it told me you were not the one.
I liked you more the more i met you, but never in the way you liked me. In fact, when I was away from you, I felt the most at peace - all that told me exactly what my heart really wanted (or did not want).
I dreaded the day I would not want you to be my boyfriend, but it came eventually. Like I told you that night we met, I cannot force myself to like someone when I don't.
After countless times of getting my own heart broken, I never imagined I'd be the one to break someone elses' heart. At least I did it graciously and did not walk away without closure. Sad thing is you didn't really seem to appreciate that. You dont know how much hurt and sadness I felt to tell you what I did. I ate myself up because of it. Maybe Matthew, Marr and Kelvin would know, but you dont.
I know its easy for you to think I dont care, that I'm the bad guy, that I mistreated you. I hope you see otherwise soon. The first time I saw you I saw your eyes; I peeked into your soul and I knew how innocent and tender you truly were. Characteristics that were not meant for me I guess.
Alas, I don't want this post to be all emo and sappy (because im starting to tear already -.-). Remember how on our first meeting we went up to that block and played with each other at the stairs? I never did that before. We kept saying "stop it," when we both knew we wanted it hahaha. That was fun.
Remember how I felt so guilty for being late when I met you on our second date and I brought you chocolates? I never gave anyone chocolates before, so count yourself honored. Holding your hand in the movies the entire time was the most secure feeling I've ever felt. I don't think you knew that. ;)
Remember how we sat in front of cathay and just talked until i missed the train to meet kelvin? I enjoyed that night, really. Was the most romantic thing I've done in a long time.
And i hope its all these that you will remember from me, and not those bad things you've built up in your head. I know what I will remember.
You're the sweetest guy I've known till date, and I am not just saying that. So here's to you paul. I hope to see you smile again someday and have those beautiful eyes of yours brightened once again.
Have a good life.
aj.
I have been waiting my whole life for someone to fill that emptiness I've always felt. To be honest, I thought you'd fill that void. When James first introduced you to me, he pm-ed me seperately from our conference and told me;
"aj. don't let this one slip away."
"why?"
"well you wanted a bf. this could be your chance."
You said you started smiling again after you met me, I could see in those beautiful eyes how much you wanted me. You made me smile again after a long time too, but that smile was in no way strong enough to overcome what I felt in my heart - it told me you were not the one.
I liked you more the more i met you, but never in the way you liked me. In fact, when I was away from you, I felt the most at peace - all that told me exactly what my heart really wanted (or did not want).
I dreaded the day I would not want you to be my boyfriend, but it came eventually. Like I told you that night we met, I cannot force myself to like someone when I don't.
After countless times of getting my own heart broken, I never imagined I'd be the one to break someone elses' heart. At least I did it graciously and did not walk away without closure. Sad thing is you didn't really seem to appreciate that. You dont know how much hurt and sadness I felt to tell you what I did. I ate myself up because of it. Maybe Matthew, Marr and Kelvin would know, but you dont.
I know its easy for you to think I dont care, that I'm the bad guy, that I mistreated you. I hope you see otherwise soon. The first time I saw you I saw your eyes; I peeked into your soul and I knew how innocent and tender you truly were. Characteristics that were not meant for me I guess.
Alas, I don't want this post to be all emo and sappy (because im starting to tear already -.-). Remember how on our first meeting we went up to that block and played with each other at the stairs? I never did that before. We kept saying "stop it," when we both knew we wanted it hahaha. That was fun.
Remember how I felt so guilty for being late when I met you on our second date and I brought you chocolates? I never gave anyone chocolates before, so count yourself honored. Holding your hand in the movies the entire time was the most secure feeling I've ever felt. I don't think you knew that. ;)
Remember how we sat in front of cathay and just talked until i missed the train to meet kelvin? I enjoyed that night, really. Was the most romantic thing I've done in a long time.
And i hope its all these that you will remember from me, and not those bad things you've built up in your head. I know what I will remember.
You're the sweetest guy I've known till date, and I am not just saying that. So here's to you paul. I hope to see you smile again someday and have those beautiful eyes of yours brightened once again.
Have a good life.
aj.
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Thursday, September 17, 2009
I am A J-mal.
I was discussing this the other day with my bestest gay friend. Most people out there know that homosexuals are known as well, gay. But I bet many don't know that like in different countries they call themselves different things.
Like in Malaysia they're called PLU which stands for 'People Like Us'
In China they're called something in chinese that literally translates into 'comrades'
And here in Singapore we're called AJ - i know. Sounds like someone you know doesn't it? :P
My gym buddy said that I was predestined to be gay because even my name has the acronyms of the gay term. Even though I think we're all predestined to be what we eventually become, I still think its kinda funny, and amazingly accurate how YOU ARE WHAT YOUR NAME IS. Lol.
I think the terminology was created so we can stay discreet, and I guess I pretty much just outed everyone didn't I? Lol. So don't tell anyone about these terms hahaha.
Like in Malaysia they're called PLU which stands for 'People Like Us'
In China they're called something in chinese that literally translates into 'comrades'
And here in Singapore we're called AJ - i know. Sounds like someone you know doesn't it? :P
My gym buddy said that I was predestined to be gay because even my name has the acronyms of the gay term. Even though I think we're all predestined to be what we eventually become, I still think its kinda funny, and amazingly accurate how YOU ARE WHAT YOUR NAME IS. Lol.
I think the terminology was created so we can stay discreet, and I guess I pretty much just outed everyone didn't I? Lol. So don't tell anyone about these terms hahaha.
Monday, September 14, 2009
marr's super-awesome post.
" Love is temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides, And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessnessm it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both and art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two. "
i took this from my besty's blog. i think she perfectly describes what love in its essence is. read more of it to find out about her life and her relationship with her sweet boyfriend, seriously.
i salute you marr. congratulations on your love for each other. best buds always, aj.
i took this from my besty's blog. i think she perfectly describes what love in its essence is. read more of it to find out about her life and her relationship with her sweet boyfriend, seriously.
i salute you marr. congratulations on your love for each other. best buds always, aj.
i need you guys right now, like really.
dear blog buddies (that means you who's reading this), i need a little favour from you. i'm trying my best not to think of a certain someone, as you can imagine i would do if you read the previous posts. Now, if i'm alone at home and rotting away, i feel desperately lonely and i start thinking of him. can you guys please drag me out of this depressing house and keep me company? i need to spend my time with someone, lest i start spamming him with smses again.
thanks once again to my best-buds for keeping me company these couple of days to take my mind off him. And thank you in advance for those of you who are gonna drag me out. =D
i need someone to be with tommorrow, that is the 14th of September (technically its today, but whatever laaaa).
send me a message! cheers.
thanks once again to my best-buds for keeping me company these couple of days to take my mind off him. And thank you in advance for those of you who are gonna drag me out. =D
i need someone to be with tommorrow, that is the 14th of September (technically its today, but whatever laaaa).
send me a message! cheers.
How's Life?
We've all heard it before. The uber-common phrase when we speak to someone we dont see sooo often. "How's life?" I'm not much on mediocrity so I don't believe in giving mediocre answers like "ok lor," or "its alright." So lemme share with you a little analogy on life I have.
Life to me is like an orchestra piece. It compromises of many sections and parts, of many movements and phases, with many different emotions and messages.
My life compromises of soooo many things and people. It moves through many phases; some happy some sad, some peaceful some MAD. So many emotions and messages come into play and influence the mood of my life, it's barely even describable. Just as all the components of an orchestra piece come together and form a perfect musical masterpiece, the many components of my life fall into place and then you realize everything is meant to be the way it is; and like the we hear the beauty of a perfect chord, i see the beauty of life this way.
So next time you decide to ask me such a question, be prepared for an answer like that. To make things easier for you, just don't ask me. Lol.
Life's Directions.
Life is probably the most interesting on Earth. I mean, each living being on this planet has a life that is so different from every other life; and it's simply spectacular what life can do.
Being away from this blog for ages, my life has, naturally, been incredibly eventful. And the only reason I'm back here today is because my besty said "it's been a long time since you've blogged."
I realised I've transformed so much on the inside, it's almost as if the same Ajmal doesn't exist anymore.
It's no doubt that being gay has influenced and impacted the way I live my life in a large way. However, I'd never imagine it would be of that magnitude. For some time now, my life has been all about, as Lady Gaga's song goes; Boys, boys, boys! You don't wanna know what I'd gotten into, really.
As is many things in life, nothing is for certain, and nothing is completely secure, especially relationships. Uncountable heartbreaks had left my soul drained and my body unable to battle the challenges of everyday life and its perpetual temptations. I merely let myself drift in the sands of time - something I would previously NEVER let myself do.
As my mind transformed, so did my life. It's just a testament to what thinking does to your life. I can tell you that I'm no longer that innocent little boy from secondary school. Its my last year as a teenager and I'm really glad i experienced what I did.
A close friend of mine asked me plainly - what happened to the Ajmal I used to know? I did not know how to answer him, because I knew exactly what he was talking about. For a while in my life, I looked in the mirror and did not recognise the man I saw.
No sensation is the same as when you once again realise for yourself where you want your life to go. My friend may have asked a simple question, but it set off a flurry of thoughts in my head. And I used to be the one who would set his life in perspective, and tell him to wake up. Aah how the tables have turned! I cannot say that everything in life is now set in the right motion, but I can say it's somewhat back on track. Still hang onto old habits, but its no longer a cause for distraction - or at least, it shouldn't be.
For now I'm just going to sit back and watch life unfold it's magnificence unto my undeserving eyes, and have faith that things will work out for the better. I have never regretted things that have happened to me and this time its no different. You know what they say, 'everthing happens for a reason.'
LIVE your life, not survive it. But don't restrict yourself to what people say it should be. It's your life and you decide its course. We LIVE and we LEARN.
Cheers to everyone who lives.
Being away from this blog for ages, my life has, naturally, been incredibly eventful. And the only reason I'm back here today is because my besty said "it's been a long time since you've blogged."
I realised I've transformed so much on the inside, it's almost as if the same Ajmal doesn't exist anymore.
It's no doubt that being gay has influenced and impacted the way I live my life in a large way. However, I'd never imagine it would be of that magnitude. For some time now, my life has been all about, as Lady Gaga's song goes; Boys, boys, boys! You don't wanna know what I'd gotten into, really.
As is many things in life, nothing is for certain, and nothing is completely secure, especially relationships. Uncountable heartbreaks had left my soul drained and my body unable to battle the challenges of everyday life and its perpetual temptations. I merely let myself drift in the sands of time - something I would previously NEVER let myself do.
As my mind transformed, so did my life. It's just a testament to what thinking does to your life. I can tell you that I'm no longer that innocent little boy from secondary school. Its my last year as a teenager and I'm really glad i experienced what I did.
A close friend of mine asked me plainly - what happened to the Ajmal I used to know? I did not know how to answer him, because I knew exactly what he was talking about. For a while in my life, I looked in the mirror and did not recognise the man I saw.
No sensation is the same as when you once again realise for yourself where you want your life to go. My friend may have asked a simple question, but it set off a flurry of thoughts in my head. And I used to be the one who would set his life in perspective, and tell him to wake up. Aah how the tables have turned! I cannot say that everything in life is now set in the right motion, but I can say it's somewhat back on track. Still hang onto old habits, but its no longer a cause for distraction - or at least, it shouldn't be.
For now I'm just going to sit back and watch life unfold it's magnificence unto my undeserving eyes, and have faith that things will work out for the better. I have never regretted things that have happened to me and this time its no different. You know what they say, 'everthing happens for a reason.'
LIVE your life, not survive it. But don't restrict yourself to what people say it should be. It's your life and you decide its course. We LIVE and we LEARN.
Cheers to everyone who lives.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
National Day - What Does It Mean?
Now I know you guys must have heard the theme song for this year's National Day Parade. It's really bad, no offense to Electrico. To be honest, it really sucks! hahaha. I know it's supposed to be artistic and that is the typical kind of music that the band plays and all, but it's really not the way we all know NDP to be. For years we've been mesmerised by patriotic tunes like "Count On Me Singapore", "We Are Singapore" and "Stand Up For Singapore" - This year's song just doesn't match up to it.
Anyways, finally having gotten that off my chest, I was thinking today. What does National Day really mean to us, as Singaporeans. Are we really celebrating 44 years of independence, or are we just happy to see the fireworks and the performances in the parade? I started to think back to the days when Singapore was still a third world country (by the way did u know they called Singapore 'Temasek' in the 19th Century? I had no idea. So basically Temasek Polytechnic is literally 19th Century Singapore Polytechnic LOL kidding kidding :P)
I mean back then, the people of this country were living in poor health and less than sufficient homes, like many other Asian cities were. My mom tells me they had to poop in little cabins outside their kampongs and then wait for the waste collector to come and get it. Later got diarrhea how sehh?? "Uncle, wait i still got some more coming!" - lol....
But look at the country now. I mean I only need to walk like a couple hundred of meters before I get a decent place to poop. I have an equal chance to be the person I want to be and get employed equally (though not always). I was watching a documentary about Singapore on the Discovery Channel and they showed the classic scene where MM Lee was all emotional when we separated from Malaysia. I really can imagine how he would have felt.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not sucking up to the country or how perfect it appears to be. I mean come on, I still have issues about that whole criminalizing gay sex thing. MM Lee also said that we are not a nation yet, and i totally agree.
It ain't perfect, but there is no where I would rather be this month than here in Singapore, singing to the old classics and walking around the neighbourhood as they display the NDP spirit. I'm no sucker for the country, but after all these years, I would say that National Day really is one day where we put aside our many many many many differences and celebrate together. Don't laugh at me for this post. Lol.
So come 9th August, as you recite the pledge and participate in the only Singaporean holiday, think about what it means to you, what it means to be Singaporean. It may be that at least you have a country to call home, or it may just be the simple fact that it's a public holiday for 2 days. Whatever it is, Monday NO SCHOOL !
~WE WILL STAND TOGETHER HEAR THE LION ROAR~
cheers.
Anyways, finally having gotten that off my chest, I was thinking today. What does National Day really mean to us, as Singaporeans. Are we really celebrating 44 years of independence, or are we just happy to see the fireworks and the performances in the parade? I started to think back to the days when Singapore was still a third world country (by the way did u know they called Singapore 'Temasek' in the 19th Century? I had no idea. So basically Temasek Polytechnic is literally 19th Century Singapore Polytechnic LOL kidding kidding :P)
I mean back then, the people of this country were living in poor health and less than sufficient homes, like many other Asian cities were. My mom tells me they had to poop in little cabins outside their kampongs and then wait for the waste collector to come and get it. Later got diarrhea how sehh?? "Uncle, wait i still got some more coming!" - lol....
But look at the country now. I mean I only need to walk like a couple hundred of meters before I get a decent place to poop. I have an equal chance to be the person I want to be and get employed equally (though not always). I was watching a documentary about Singapore on the Discovery Channel and they showed the classic scene where MM Lee was all emotional when we separated from Malaysia. I really can imagine how he would have felt.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not sucking up to the country or how perfect it appears to be. I mean come on, I still have issues about that whole criminalizing gay sex thing. MM Lee also said that we are not a nation yet, and i totally agree.
It ain't perfect, but there is no where I would rather be this month than here in Singapore, singing to the old classics and walking around the neighbourhood as they display the NDP spirit. I'm no sucker for the country, but after all these years, I would say that National Day really is one day where we put aside our many many many many differences and celebrate together. Don't laugh at me for this post. Lol.
So come 9th August, as you recite the pledge and participate in the only Singaporean holiday, think about what it means to you, what it means to be Singaporean. It may be that at least you have a country to call home, or it may just be the simple fact that it's a public holiday for 2 days. Whatever it is, Monday NO SCHOOL !
~WE WILL STAND TOGETHER HEAR THE LION ROAR~
cheers.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Mitchell is a hot-guy name.
So I was scheduled to have training the other day, for the whole 'Poly 50' run. The trainings had started like 2 weeks ago but i never bothered to turn up lol. The day before the session the leader of the whole thing messaged me saying "You have either not been coming for training, have not replied any of my messages, or have not given me your Tshirt sizes, or all of the above. Are you still running? I would need to substitute you..."
So i guilted myself into running, since i had voluntarily signed up and all. Man did i make a smart move. This leader told me i was in group 3, and that my team leader's name was Mitchell. Mitchell? wow. sexy name already. :P
So when i headed down to the running track naturally i did not know who Mitchell was. I decided i'd call the number given to me. Ring once.... no one picked up. "No way man... imma spam this fella till he picks up," I told myself. Second ring. A masculant voice picked up the call and after like 5 seconds of talking my friend next to me nudged me. "Err... look there."
I turned and i saw this piece of hunky man meat (probably shouldn't describe him as a piece of meat but oh well) that was wearing tight sportswear. That singlet totally showed off his sculpted arms and those tight shorts could in no way mask his bonerific (LOL) behind. He had a totally hip hairstyle and perfect teeth too! Like OMG was this guy an absolute dream man or what? lol. And guess what? He spoke great English. @.@
What i'm trying to say is that he was totally hot. I may have gotten carried away with the last paragraph there, sorry lol. But it's not just him. I know like 3 people named Mitchell and they are all undoubtedly hot, like Matthew's friend from Shatec that goes to gym, or that Mitchell dude in secondary school (he was much hotter then, lol).
Why are all the Mitchells i know all irrestibly hot? I really don't know. After last friday's training i can safely conclude that Mitchell is indeed, a hot-guy name.
Next time you go online-dating look out for people named Mitchell, or at least, now you know what to name your kids. haha.
cheers.
So i guilted myself into running, since i had voluntarily signed up and all. Man did i make a smart move. This leader told me i was in group 3, and that my team leader's name was Mitchell. Mitchell? wow. sexy name already. :P
So when i headed down to the running track naturally i did not know who Mitchell was. I decided i'd call the number given to me. Ring once.... no one picked up. "No way man... imma spam this fella till he picks up," I told myself. Second ring. A masculant voice picked up the call and after like 5 seconds of talking my friend next to me nudged me. "Err... look there."
I turned and i saw this piece of hunky man meat (probably shouldn't describe him as a piece of meat but oh well) that was wearing tight sportswear. That singlet totally showed off his sculpted arms and those tight shorts could in no way mask his bonerific (LOL) behind. He had a totally hip hairstyle and perfect teeth too! Like OMG was this guy an absolute dream man or what? lol. And guess what? He spoke great English. @.@
What i'm trying to say is that he was totally hot. I may have gotten carried away with the last paragraph there, sorry lol. But it's not just him. I know like 3 people named Mitchell and they are all undoubtedly hot, like Matthew's friend from Shatec that goes to gym, or that Mitchell dude in secondary school (he was much hotter then, lol).
Why are all the Mitchells i know all irrestibly hot? I really don't know. After last friday's training i can safely conclude that Mitchell is indeed, a hot-guy name.
Next time you go online-dating look out for people named Mitchell, or at least, now you know what to name your kids. haha.
cheers.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Facebook Gave Me A Home
Never underestimate the power of the online world. That's right, read the title again. For months now i've been innocently facebooking, not knowing of the incredible reward it was to bring me.
My mom would always complain about me staying up late and using the computer. What was i doing? Facebook lah! I used to play this game called restaurant city lol. So yea. As innocent as it was, i got bored watching the moving pixelised characters doing the same thing over and over. I scrolled my mouse over to the ads at the site (I also happened to join a gay personal's network too this way hahaha). So i saw this advertisement for a housing agent. "3 room flats in Hougang, Toa Payoh, Serangoon ...."
For those of you who don't know, my family has been frantically looking for a house to stay in for the last 4 years? Yeah. I've been living out of boxes most of my teenhood. The agent my mom has been working with is unreliable and bottom line lazy. No results for 4 years of house hunting. So I clicked that ad and it diverted me to the agents personal website. I was shocked to see how many houses were available.
I emailed my mom the link and she called up the agent. Within no time we went for several viewings. And after like 2 days or so with the agent, my mom found a house she really liked and that was in her budget. Not too long later, we bought that 3 room flat in Hougang and we are expected to move in somewhere around August, and this time, it's FINAL! No more boxes and living like a refugee. I can finally call a place home. =)
Funny how all this came out of Facebook, the thing my mom hated to see me on at night. Yet night and facebook it was, that delivered this great gift to us that we finally have had years of prayer answered.
What can I say? Good things happen when you least expect and in the weirdest ways.
THANK YOU FACEBOOK !!!
My mom would always complain about me staying up late and using the computer. What was i doing? Facebook lah! I used to play this game called restaurant city lol. So yea. As innocent as it was, i got bored watching the moving pixelised characters doing the same thing over and over. I scrolled my mouse over to the ads at the site (I also happened to join a gay personal's network too this way hahaha). So i saw this advertisement for a housing agent. "3 room flats in Hougang, Toa Payoh, Serangoon ...."
For those of you who don't know, my family has been frantically looking for a house to stay in for the last 4 years? Yeah. I've been living out of boxes most of my teenhood. The agent my mom has been working with is unreliable and bottom line lazy. No results for 4 years of house hunting. So I clicked that ad and it diverted me to the agents personal website. I was shocked to see how many houses were available.
I emailed my mom the link and she called up the agent. Within no time we went for several viewings. And after like 2 days or so with the agent, my mom found a house she really liked and that was in her budget. Not too long later, we bought that 3 room flat in Hougang and we are expected to move in somewhere around August, and this time, it's FINAL! No more boxes and living like a refugee. I can finally call a place home. =)
Funny how all this came out of Facebook, the thing my mom hated to see me on at night. Yet night and facebook it was, that delivered this great gift to us that we finally have had years of prayer answered.
What can I say? Good things happen when you least expect and in the weirdest ways.
THANK YOU FACEBOOK !!!
Monday, July 13, 2009
Music That Made Me Cry
I don't know if it's because I'm tired, I dunno if it's because I don't feel too good. But whatever the reasons and combinations are, I was still brought to tears when I heard this magnificent piece of music. You probably will recognise it; it's called He's A Pirate.
I know this isn't the kinda music that makes people usually cry, but I'm feeling all fuzzy and I just started crying when I heard this.
Enjoy. Pirates Of The Caribbean, main theme. your heart starts echoing the beat of the music. it is unmistakably recognisable.
I know this isn't the kinda music that makes people usually cry, but I'm feeling all fuzzy and I just started crying when I heard this.
Enjoy. Pirates Of The Caribbean, main theme. your heart starts echoing the beat of the music. it is unmistakably recognisable.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Coming Out All Over Again...
"I have something to tell you. I don't exactly like girls. Get what i'm saying?"
"Erm dude, i like guys...*innocent look*"
"I just wanna get this off my chest. *Breathes deeply* I'm gay."
"There's something you should know about me. I don't care what you say or think about me. I am who i am. I am gay."
Some of the lines that i have used in the past to enlighten my friends as to why i never spoke to them about girls i liked, or would talk about girls in a cheeky way etc etc etc. After 4 years of realizing who i am, I am at utmost confidence of myself. Yet, when i am put into new surroundings and i am forced to mingle, i often hold back the whole 'i'm gay' card and try my best to fit in while being myself. I don't laugh at gay jokes, but i don't say anything either. It's as if I am back in secondary school and i'm trying to come out all over again. I often avoid the subject and my tongue ties itself up when i try to use my famous lines up there. Basically, i'm having problems coming out to the new group of people i meet in my life.
The fact is that as a homosexual you come out many times in your life. When you go to the mall and see an old relative and she asks about your girlfriend. When you meet up your old school-mates and they ask you hows life. So on and so forth. Part of being an open homosexual is being able to come out to people comfortably and still respect yourself at the end of the day even though the person you met may not. Imma huge people pleaser. I do my best to be as diplomatic and please all parties involved in any situation. That's my nature. This kinda conflicts withs my views on homosexuality because when i come out i need to educate people, not sway to their opinion of who i am. What can i say, being gay and Ajmal is hard. Funny, being Ajmal also means being gay! :D
It takes a tremendous amount of courage to come out to someone for the first time, though it gets gradually easier the more you do it. You could not imagine how insecure i was when i first came out, unless of course you have come out youself lol. Somehow or rather, i am a little excited about the rejections i will face when it happens and how i will handle them. I just pray that i do not crumble under the pressure. If i do, i can only reach out for my phone and call Matthew, Marr or Kim Yong. LOL. XD - thanks guys for always being there. =)
And thank you (you know who you are) for recognising how much courage it takes to come out. Gimme a pat on my shoulder sometime and say "i'm glad for you. congratulations." - that's all i wanna hear ^^
happy gay pride month!
aj.
"Erm dude, i like guys...*innocent look*"
"I just wanna get this off my chest. *Breathes deeply* I'm gay."
"There's something you should know about me. I don't care what you say or think about me. I am who i am. I am gay."
Some of the lines that i have used in the past to enlighten my friends as to why i never spoke to them about girls i liked, or would talk about girls in a cheeky way etc etc etc. After 4 years of realizing who i am, I am at utmost confidence of myself. Yet, when i am put into new surroundings and i am forced to mingle, i often hold back the whole 'i'm gay' card and try my best to fit in while being myself. I don't laugh at gay jokes, but i don't say anything either. It's as if I am back in secondary school and i'm trying to come out all over again. I often avoid the subject and my tongue ties itself up when i try to use my famous lines up there. Basically, i'm having problems coming out to the new group of people i meet in my life.
The fact is that as a homosexual you come out many times in your life. When you go to the mall and see an old relative and she asks about your girlfriend. When you meet up your old school-mates and they ask you hows life. So on and so forth. Part of being an open homosexual is being able to come out to people comfortably and still respect yourself at the end of the day even though the person you met may not. Imma huge people pleaser. I do my best to be as diplomatic and please all parties involved in any situation. That's my nature. This kinda conflicts withs my views on homosexuality because when i come out i need to educate people, not sway to their opinion of who i am. What can i say, being gay and Ajmal is hard. Funny, being Ajmal also means being gay! :D
It takes a tremendous amount of courage to come out to someone for the first time, though it gets gradually easier the more you do it. You could not imagine how insecure i was when i first came out, unless of course you have come out youself lol. Somehow or rather, i am a little excited about the rejections i will face when it happens and how i will handle them. I just pray that i do not crumble under the pressure. If i do, i can only reach out for my phone and call Matthew, Marr or Kim Yong. LOL. XD - thanks guys for always being there. =)
And thank you (you know who you are) for recognising how much courage it takes to come out. Gimme a pat on my shoulder sometime and say "i'm glad for you. congratulations." - that's all i wanna hear ^^
happy gay pride month!
aj.
Sit Down and Wait, or Stand Up and Fight?
As SPECTACULAR as that PinkDot event was to me, i couldn't help but ask myself, why there was no hype on the local media like on channel 5 etc, or why i did not hear of this event on TV. Is Singapore still not ready for events like this to be broadcast on national TV? Somehow, i don't think so. Maybe if we lived just 10 years ago the idea of having such an event would be... absurd, wierd and WRONG even, maybe. But things are different now and the world is steadily accepting the LGBT community. So why not Singapore media? I'm still kinda fed up at why they removed the gay wedding scene in the show Brothers & Sisters lol.
Our gay forefathers have fought long and hard for many years in courts and parliaments and communities just so that we can live as equal human beings. Its pretty much the same as a country (take Scotland, USA, Jerusalem and even Singapore for example) who has had to fight its way to gain independence, to not let other people's beliefs and cultures be passed off as your own. To fight for an equal stand in the world. Our gay forefathers must be so proud today to see that their dreams are finally materializing into society today.
However, it is not our duty to be complacent that our rights will always be there. It took many years of fighting to establish laws of protection for being beaten 'because he was gay'. What makes us think that these rights will always be around? Just as our forefathers let us reap the benefits of their hard work, so must we let the future generations reap the hardwork we sow today. My message is; don't just sit around and wait for things in the world to start falling into place, stand up and fight for it! As the words of the great Mahatma Ghandi said, "be the change you want to see in the world."
As for all you straight people, this fight does not elude you. You have friends who are homosexuals and/or bisexual. Helping to stand up for them is like helping to stand up for your friends when they are bullied. Although we have made great changes already, we cannot do it alone. We are afterall, one people, one nation, one Singapore. :P don't we all deserve to live in a country where all are equal despite race, religion, economic background, SEXUALITY?
so once again. Sit Down and Wait, or Stand Up and Fight?
Our gay forefathers have fought long and hard for many years in courts and parliaments and communities just so that we can live as equal human beings. Its pretty much the same as a country (take Scotland, USA, Jerusalem and even Singapore for example) who has had to fight its way to gain independence, to not let other people's beliefs and cultures be passed off as your own. To fight for an equal stand in the world. Our gay forefathers must be so proud today to see that their dreams are finally materializing into society today.
However, it is not our duty to be complacent that our rights will always be there. It took many years of fighting to establish laws of protection for being beaten 'because he was gay'. What makes us think that these rights will always be around? Just as our forefathers let us reap the benefits of their hard work, so must we let the future generations reap the hardwork we sow today. My message is; don't just sit around and wait for things in the world to start falling into place, stand up and fight for it! As the words of the great Mahatma Ghandi said, "be the change you want to see in the world."
As for all you straight people, this fight does not elude you. You have friends who are homosexuals and/or bisexual. Helping to stand up for them is like helping to stand up for your friends when they are bullied. Although we have made great changes already, we cannot do it alone. We are afterall, one people, one nation, one Singapore. :P don't we all deserve to live in a country where all are equal despite race, religion, economic background, SEXUALITY?
so once again. Sit Down and Wait, or Stand Up and Fight?
PinkDot & The LGBT Community.
I couldn't believe my eyes when i first saw it, but yes. After so many years of being in silence, the LGBT communuty is coming out of the closet and into Singapore's society. In one of my earlier posts i did mention that there are more people that are coming and and embracing homosexuality as a part of life. Not that there weren't homosexuals back then or that there were lesser, it's just that at that time society wasn't exactly very welcoming of us and that led to the relative 'silence' of the LGBT Community. Now, i could'nt believe my eyes when i saw it, but my visions for gay people is coming true indeed. An organisation called PinkDot held an event on the 16th of May this year (2009) and the turnout was much more than expected.
PinkDot.Sg is an organisation that gives individuals, business and people a platform to stand up againt prejudism and identify themselves as advocates of a more 'loving Singapore'. So if you would like to support this cause, feel free to join them in Facebook where they have over 5,700 members already signed up with this groundbreaking organisation.
LGBT/GLBT - stands for The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender / Gay, Lesbian Bisexual, Transgender community in any country. For those of you who don't know, well now you don't have an excuse. :)
PinkDot.Sg is an organisation that gives individuals, business and people a platform to stand up againt prejudism and identify themselves as advocates of a more 'loving Singapore'. So if you would like to support this cause, feel free to join them in Facebook where they have over 5,700 members already signed up with this groundbreaking organisation.
LGBT/GLBT - stands for The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender / Gay, Lesbian Bisexual, Transgender community in any country. For those of you who don't know, well now you don't have an excuse. :)
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Ads
I guess some of you have noticed? There are some ads on the sidebar of my blog. its an alternate way of me trying to earn some money lol. So if u have the heart (and the time) please do click on the ads each time you visit me. thanks a whole bunch. =)
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Blog Posts
I know no one has been reading my blog lately so i decided i'd read it myself. It's nice to see the good old days of my life and how i have changed and grown-up, so to say. I have come across some posts that i feel are pleasant to read and i am gonna post the links so that you guys can read em, without having to filter through my whole blog. Imma categorize em too, so enjoy (i hope you guys read em lol)
Compositions/Essays;
Childhood
Family
Life Changing/action inspiring self-thoughts;
One With Nature
Best Friends
The Fragility Of Life In Our Hands
What's Right
Powerful/Controversial Thoughts;
The Future Of Gay People In Singapore, and the world
VOTE EARTH!
5N2 '07 / 5N2 '08?
Dreams v.s. Money
taking a step to having a good life
Good Gay-Themed Posts;
How Does It Feel To Be Gay
The Coming Out Process - The Cast Model
Man Crushes
Is It Right?
Homophobia
When You Need Some Motivation;
The Don't Quit Poem
The Human Spirit
Decisions VS Circumstances (Warning, long post!)
A Beautiful Song
Stuff To Laugh About;
dude, ajmal, and a chick
Adult Fares
Archie my bf.
STORM
The funny things people say.
Technology made me depressed.
stuff to make you laugh abit
of course these are not all the posts that are good, they are just posts that i think are worthwhile reading. i'd love for you to read the rest of my blog, but that's entirely your choice. If you do feel like i am missing some posts from any of the categories, fell free to drop me a message and tell me which post u wanna nominate and for which category. lol
cheers, aj
Compositions/Essays;
Childhood
Family
Life Changing/action inspiring self-thoughts;
One With Nature
Best Friends
The Fragility Of Life In Our Hands
What's Right
Powerful/Controversial Thoughts;
The Future Of Gay People In Singapore, and the world
VOTE EARTH!
5N2 '07 / 5N2 '08?
Dreams v.s. Money
taking a step to having a good life
Good Gay-Themed Posts;
How Does It Feel To Be Gay
The Coming Out Process - The Cast Model
Man Crushes
Is It Right?
Homophobia
When You Need Some Motivation;
The Don't Quit Poem
The Human Spirit
Decisions VS Circumstances (Warning, long post!)
A Beautiful Song
Stuff To Laugh About;
dude, ajmal, and a chick
Adult Fares
Archie my bf.
STORM
The funny things people say.
Technology made me depressed.
stuff to make you laugh abit
of course these are not all the posts that are good, they are just posts that i think are worthwhile reading. i'd love for you to read the rest of my blog, but that's entirely your choice. If you do feel like i am missing some posts from any of the categories, fell free to drop me a message and tell me which post u wanna nominate and for which category. lol
cheers, aj
Monday, May 4, 2009
Kevin And Scotty's Wedding Ceremony
In relation to the previous post, The Future of Gay People in Singapore, and the world, this video is the wedding ceremony of Kevin and his partner, Scotty. It's beautiful if you ask me. It is beyond me why this would be censored from TV, but hey at least here on the internet we can see it. So for those of you who are not offended by homosexuality, please do take a look, and realize that gay marriage can be as beautiful as traditional marriages.
The Future of Gay People in Singapore, in the world
Have you ever watched the show Brothers & Sisters? If you have then you will know a character called Kevin Walker; the lawyer in the family, and he's gay. In the beginning it was a little rough for him, having to deal with his work, family and relationships. More recently however, he met with one of his old buddies and eventually they got married. But of course, i don't intend to tell you the story of the show and/or Kevin. Now i stayed up late cuz i had wanted to digest the food i ate a while ago and i turned on the TV to help kill the time. Brothers & Sisters is one of my favourite drama serials and Kevin is without a doubt, my favourite character. It was the episode that he was supposed to get married. I was so eager as the scenes passed and they got closer to the wedding, it would be the first gay marriage i have ever seen. Then just as the scene came, it got cut and they moved onto the post-wedding scene. My heart just sank in disappointment and i started to ask myself, what happened? "Oh of course, they censored it!"
You get what i'm saying don't you? The MDA (Media Development Authority) has a policy/law against showing homosexual content over the media (even if its not sexual); no broadcast should in any way, justify or glamourize, gay lifestyle. It makes me feel a little bit sad. It almost seems as though it was meant to be hidden from the world, that all gay people should live in secret. It is, of course, not true and many countries around the world are openly accepting its gay population. Now i respect the laws of the MDA, they filter out inappropriate material that shouldn't be broadcasted on national TV. But it comes to question; is gay marriage, inappropriate?
But a little reality check. Singapore is a country that does not criminalise homosexuality - unlike some countries which do. For that i am very thankful. For those of you who have been following the news this past 2 days you would have probably heard about this AWARE thingy going on, where sensitive topics were discussed openly in public, including homosexuality. It just goes to prove that the country is (even if its doing so slowly) opening up to the gay community and I myself have been noticing that alot more gay people are out in the open these days; whether it may be on the media, or even on the streets. Now it is thoughts like these, that make me smile, that make my day.
I am sure in the future years to come homosexuals will be widely accepted not only in this country but also in the world. It is a cause our gay ancestors have been fighting long and hard for and i'm sure they would be proud to see it materialising slowly today. Perhaps schools will start educating the young about homosexuals and this will in turn lead to them being accepted as an integral part of society. Which in turn will lead to less gay-jokes > social classification > isolation > discrimination. A chain effect. Perhaps Singapore would even be a country to legalise same-sex marriage! - HOPE! What a world that would be. On that day, i will be proud to stand up and say "HEY WORLD, I'M GAY!!"
Times are changing and so is the world. We gotta keep up and adapt. I am very hopeful, however, that despite the global warming and economic recessions, that the world is indeed becoming a better place - a world of harmonious co-existence and equality.
Good day!
You get what i'm saying don't you? The MDA (Media Development Authority) has a policy/law against showing homosexual content over the media (even if its not sexual); no broadcast should in any way, justify or glamourize, gay lifestyle. It makes me feel a little bit sad. It almost seems as though it was meant to be hidden from the world, that all gay people should live in secret. It is, of course, not true and many countries around the world are openly accepting its gay population. Now i respect the laws of the MDA, they filter out inappropriate material that shouldn't be broadcasted on national TV. But it comes to question; is gay marriage, inappropriate?
But a little reality check. Singapore is a country that does not criminalise homosexuality - unlike some countries which do. For that i am very thankful. For those of you who have been following the news this past 2 days you would have probably heard about this AWARE thingy going on, where sensitive topics were discussed openly in public, including homosexuality. It just goes to prove that the country is (even if its doing so slowly) opening up to the gay community and I myself have been noticing that alot more gay people are out in the open these days; whether it may be on the media, or even on the streets. Now it is thoughts like these, that make me smile, that make my day.
I am sure in the future years to come homosexuals will be widely accepted not only in this country but also in the world. It is a cause our gay ancestors have been fighting long and hard for and i'm sure they would be proud to see it materialising slowly today. Perhaps schools will start educating the young about homosexuals and this will in turn lead to them being accepted as an integral part of society. Which in turn will lead to less gay-jokes > social classification > isolation > discrimination. A chain effect. Perhaps Singapore would even be a country to legalise same-sex marriage! - HOPE! What a world that would be. On that day, i will be proud to stand up and say "HEY WORLD, I'M GAY!!"
Times are changing and so is the world. We gotta keep up and adapt. I am very hopeful, however, that despite the global warming and economic recessions, that the world is indeed becoming a better place - a world of harmonious co-existence and equality.
Good day!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
The only time you'll hear me talk about my love
It was an interestingly good day today. Numerous incredibly-awesome-totally-dope instances passed which include my classmates covering for me, having a great EC tutorial & a super hot guy messaging me. Nonetheless, i wanna mention something that happened today.
We ended up brisk walking to the MRT in an attempt to ditch someone and meet her at the station. The two of them started cracking jokes and poking each other. I laughed and laughed until in the corner of my eye i saw someone; someone vaguely familiar. My brain instinctively screamed his name in my head but i chose not believe it at first. So he walked past the pillar, a blind spot in my line of sight. And there, together with what seemed to be a friend was him. It was really him afterall. I would recognise that face anywhere. Even if my eyes had failed me at that moment i would've still recognised him.
One of the reasons i picked SP was because i could study network marketing. I also knew the poly the most, out of the 5 polys. But however, one other reason was the subconcious knowledge that a certain someone went to that school as well. I knew i would see him eventually, i just didnt think it'd be in that situation or this early in the year. Yes, thats right. I saw Whye Chiz today.
He walked past me without even stealing a glance in my direction - perhaps it was because my friends had me well hid behind their bodies, or perhaps i just had slipped too far in the shadow of his eyes that even if i stood right in front of him he would see right through me. He looked incredibly different, but not the different i wanted to see. He did not look as hunky as i thought he'd always turn out to be, and neither did he improve his sense of stlye and/or personal grooming. Sure he was decent looking and all, but an oversized T-shirt, berms that go 3/4 down his legs, the same old bag and slippers were always his style. At least that didn't change about him. It seemed like his face was scarred by pimples, but that may have just been my imagination, because i pray his beautiful face has not been scarred in any way.
I started to think after he left, and i was on my way to work. It was incredible seeing him today, even though he didnt see me. I haven't seen him in over 2 years. Yet, for some strange reason, i dont feel the same way i used to feel back then. Sure, i still loved him, but not like what i used to before. I smiled, assuring myself that i really had moved on.
===============
i know i was being a bit dramatic up there but hey u gotta forgive a dude when he hasn't seen the only man he loves in 2 years. No he doesn't know im gay and no i didn't go up and say hi because i feared his reaction. I am not sure i can live with the idea of him still not having forgiven me after all this time, and let it ruin my years in poly. I miss him oh so much but i also dont wanna ruin it all over again. God answered my prayers today when he let me see him again, a prayer i've long since been asking for. I can only pray now that the good Lord lets me talk talk to him again.
You know they say you never forget a first love. As much as i dont want to agree, the statement is true, at least in my case it is. I still love the dude, but not like back then when i was totally nuts and obsessed about him. Besides, he's not as hot as he once was :P
Lol, this must be a bit wierd to people reading this and all, so my apologies. Lemme be cuckoo in this one post okay? XD Dang! im gonna start crying soon lol
"If I know what love is, it is because of you."
--Herman Hesse
We ended up brisk walking to the MRT in an attempt to ditch someone and meet her at the station. The two of them started cracking jokes and poking each other. I laughed and laughed until in the corner of my eye i saw someone; someone vaguely familiar. My brain instinctively screamed his name in my head but i chose not believe it at first. So he walked past the pillar, a blind spot in my line of sight. And there, together with what seemed to be a friend was him. It was really him afterall. I would recognise that face anywhere. Even if my eyes had failed me at that moment i would've still recognised him.
One of the reasons i picked SP was because i could study network marketing. I also knew the poly the most, out of the 5 polys. But however, one other reason was the subconcious knowledge that a certain someone went to that school as well. I knew i would see him eventually, i just didnt think it'd be in that situation or this early in the year. Yes, thats right. I saw Whye Chiz today.
He walked past me without even stealing a glance in my direction - perhaps it was because my friends had me well hid behind their bodies, or perhaps i just had slipped too far in the shadow of his eyes that even if i stood right in front of him he would see right through me. He looked incredibly different, but not the different i wanted to see. He did not look as hunky as i thought he'd always turn out to be, and neither did he improve his sense of stlye and/or personal grooming. Sure he was decent looking and all, but an oversized T-shirt, berms that go 3/4 down his legs, the same old bag and slippers were always his style. At least that didn't change about him. It seemed like his face was scarred by pimples, but that may have just been my imagination, because i pray his beautiful face has not been scarred in any way.
I started to think after he left, and i was on my way to work. It was incredible seeing him today, even though he didnt see me. I haven't seen him in over 2 years. Yet, for some strange reason, i dont feel the same way i used to feel back then. Sure, i still loved him, but not like what i used to before. I smiled, assuring myself that i really had moved on.
===============
i know i was being a bit dramatic up there but hey u gotta forgive a dude when he hasn't seen the only man he loves in 2 years. No he doesn't know im gay and no i didn't go up and say hi because i feared his reaction. I am not sure i can live with the idea of him still not having forgiven me after all this time, and let it ruin my years in poly. I miss him oh so much but i also dont wanna ruin it all over again. God answered my prayers today when he let me see him again, a prayer i've long since been asking for. I can only pray now that the good Lord lets me talk talk to him again.
You know they say you never forget a first love. As much as i dont want to agree, the statement is true, at least in my case it is. I still love the dude, but not like back then when i was totally nuts and obsessed about him. Besides, he's not as hot as he once was :P
Lol, this must be a bit wierd to people reading this and all, so my apologies. Lemme be cuckoo in this one post okay? XD Dang! im gonna start crying soon lol
"If I know what love is, it is because of you."
--Herman Hesse
Friday, April 24, 2009
Taking a leap of faith
a lone man stood on the edge of a cliff, rapidly contemplating if he should take his leap of faith. He stood there, thinking and thinking, but the more he thought, the more he couldn't do it. It was just one of those things u do without thinking too much. So..
he jumped.
he landed with a big splash and found out he was still alive. In fact, he was more alive than he had ever been. He turned around and looked up at what he had just jumped from. The beauty of it left him speechless.
______________
Alot of times in our lives we lack the faith to do something incredible and just do it without thinking. We don't trust ourselves to be able to make it and thus we doubt we will. All too many times, a leap of faith into the unknown is rewarded with overflowing blessings. Hope you get the moral behind this one...
I guess i'm gonna do the same and jump off that cliff i've been dreading for so long. I trust God to help me out through it and that i land safely. With that...
I'M COMING OUTTA THE CLOSET FOR GOOD!
isn't about time you took that leap of faith too?
Thursday, April 23, 2009
dude,ajmal and a chick
dude: i saw these two lesbians kissing. eww
ajmal: you know, homosexuality is perfectly natural, even animals do it
dude: is it?
ajmal: ya
dude: but i think GAYS are the most gross
ajmal: of course you would say that! ur a straight guy!
chick: U MEAN UR NOT STRAIGHT???
ajmal: ....
table laughs.
------------------
what i think of poly? ---> -.-"
ajmal: you know, homosexuality is perfectly natural, even animals do it
dude: is it?
ajmal: ya
dude: but i think GAYS are the most gross
ajmal: of course you would say that! ur a straight guy!
chick: U MEAN UR NOT STRAIGHT???
ajmal: ....
table laughs.
------------------
what i think of poly? ---> -.-"
Saturday, April 18, 2009
I dont wanna complain but...
So another chapter in my life unfolds. I cannot say i am too excited about it. The universe has a certain tendency to pile up problems on me at once. It gets very frustrating at times. But of course, i am not here to complain about that.
Being a poly student kinda changes lots of things. The principal said that (and i think i can agree) wearing our own clothes is a significant change because it means we are no longer in a regulated environment and that we are free to do as we choose, as adults do. Now, i don't know how much freedom adults have, but i believe that in poly we really are free people who must take responsibility for ourselves. That kinda scares me a little. I suddenly feel very small in a huge world that has seemed to unleash itself upon me. Oh how insignificant it makes me feel.
Back in FTPSS, i had to bust my ass off studying in order to get the 12 points i finally happened to get. Yet here, in the DBA class i am in, everyone has 12 points - and the worst part is they really dont feel it was much to them at all! Some even shared with me that they were slacking all the way to prelims and then ended up with 12 points. Like what? Apparently i'm just surrounded by geniuses. One ofthe lecturers keeps saying "you all are smart people!" and that "SP's Business school has the brightests students!"
I guess at the end of the day, i just feel pissed off that all that hard work i put in last year seemed to have no special outcome. I guess i was just used to being different, now i'm not. I blend in with all the mega-geniuses i have in my course and may even be the underdog.
one more thing. How am i supposed to be openly gay in poly? it seems like everyone around me is making homophobic-jokes and spreading homophobic ideas around. I cant imagine how they would react to me coming out to them, if i ever do lol.
Man i guess thats the 'adult' world for ya. I just dont seem to be myself lately. The universe has probably effectively broken me down till im all tender and fragile. I guess i just need time to build myself up again, after being torn down like that.
So if u see me around, do encourage me a little bit ya? We all need a human touch once in a while. =)
Being a poly student kinda changes lots of things. The principal said that (and i think i can agree) wearing our own clothes is a significant change because it means we are no longer in a regulated environment and that we are free to do as we choose, as adults do. Now, i don't know how much freedom adults have, but i believe that in poly we really are free people who must take responsibility for ourselves. That kinda scares me a little. I suddenly feel very small in a huge world that has seemed to unleash itself upon me. Oh how insignificant it makes me feel.
Back in FTPSS, i had to bust my ass off studying in order to get the 12 points i finally happened to get. Yet here, in the DBA class i am in, everyone has 12 points - and the worst part is they really dont feel it was much to them at all! Some even shared with me that they were slacking all the way to prelims and then ended up with 12 points. Like what? Apparently i'm just surrounded by geniuses. One ofthe lecturers keeps saying "you all are smart people!" and that "SP's Business school has the brightests students!"
I guess at the end of the day, i just feel pissed off that all that hard work i put in last year seemed to have no special outcome. I guess i was just used to being different, now i'm not. I blend in with all the mega-geniuses i have in my course and may even be the underdog.
one more thing. How am i supposed to be openly gay in poly? it seems like everyone around me is making homophobic-jokes and spreading homophobic ideas around. I cant imagine how they would react to me coming out to them, if i ever do lol.
Man i guess thats the 'adult' world for ya. I just dont seem to be myself lately. The universe has probably effectively broken me down till im all tender and fragile. I guess i just need time to build myself up again, after being torn down like that.
So if u see me around, do encourage me a little bit ya? We all need a human touch once in a while. =)
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
How Does It Feel To Be Gay?
Yeah, it's about time i posted another 'gay video' - lolz. This one helps people to understand how it feels to grow up as a gay person. The emotions that you might feel are what gay people feel as they grow up and perhaps this will help bridge an understanding between homosexuality and heterosexuality. It's only 6 minutes, just close your eyes and imagine. =)
Check out his YouTube channel: bmcnaught
Check out his YouTube channel: bmcnaught
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
VOTE EARTH !
The world's first global election is taking place on the 28th March (that's this saturday!). An election between Earth and Global Warming. From 8.30pm to 9.30pm you can vote for global warming by leaving your light switches on, or you can VOTE EARTH by turning off your light switches for that one hour. It's called Earth Hour
As human beings, we are the only species in the planet that has the ability to decide the lives and destinies of all other creatures, and even the planet itself. Do not be fooled by thinking, oh it's no big deal, and i'm just one person. If every one person thought that, there would be no one left to help fight climate change. Its a small step into preserving the beauty and life God has blessed us with. In you now is the power to give or take life from the planet and all who inhabit her.
Chose carefully. VOTE EARTH!
Earth Hour, Saturday 28th March 2009. Check out the video too.
Save the planet man~
As human beings, we are the only species in the planet that has the ability to decide the lives and destinies of all other creatures, and even the planet itself. Do not be fooled by thinking, oh it's no big deal, and i'm just one person. If every one person thought that, there would be no one left to help fight climate change. Its a small step into preserving the beauty and life God has blessed us with. In you now is the power to give or take life from the planet and all who inhabit her.
Chose carefully. VOTE EARTH!
Earth Hour, Saturday 28th March 2009. Check out the video too.
Save the planet man~
The Don't Quit Poem
I have a beautiful poem to share with you. Now i found this on YouTube and it has spread its positive effects all over to anyone who reads it. I know sometimes in life, we feel so down that nothing in the world can bring you back up again. Perhaps this might help. Remember, if you've reached your lowest, the only place left to go is upwards. =)
When things go wrong
As they sometimes will
When the road you're trudging
Seems all uphill
When funds are low
And the debts are high
And you want to smile,
but you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must... but don't you quit
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about,
when he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seems so far:
So stick to the fight when your hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
Inspirational Video - The Don't Quit Poem
When things go wrong
As they sometimes will
When the road you're trudging
Seems all uphill
When funds are low
And the debts are high
And you want to smile,
but you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must... but don't you quit
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about,
when he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seems so far:
So stick to the fight when your hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
Inspirational Video - The Don't Quit Poem
Friday, February 20, 2009
Rasa Sayang EH!
I kinda liked this video. It seems really old. Just in case you're wondering how old? Well dick lee was singing about buying a pager/cordless phone and this other fella was talking about having more than 2 babies, lol.
Very singlish and, i like! :D
But i can't help but wonder, is Rasa Sayang a Singaporean song or is it like some foreign song? Come to think of it i never heard anyone sing out outside of Singapore.
Kinda reminded me of my roots, like this is Singapore and not some ang moh pai country, you know what i mean? lol
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
The Human Spirit
I was heading home the other day at around 12. The thing about going home late is that i seldom get to see people around me and i just started to think out loud. I realized i was feeling very negative about something that happened at work, that affects all of us working there. But yeah i was thinking about my problems and how my life sucks and how i wish i was never born blah blah blah and then suddenly i stopped. I realized i aint the only fella in this world who has problems! I mean look around EVERY human being that walks past you has a problem of his own. Now when problems decide they wanna bug me i do what i usually do; think of a meaningful quote. That's when i realized something else too - you can find a million and one meaningful quotes that champion the human spirit. My conclusion; feeling down is completely normal! If you ask me, facing hardships in life is drinking water - absolutely essential for survival. You know what they say, "that which doesn't kill you can only make you stronger"
Here are some of those quotes i was talking about;
"A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits"
"The greatest glory comes not from climbing, but from rising each time you fall"
"Even if the world is going to end tommorrow, i will still plant my apple tree today"
"What's worth the prize is always worth the fight"
"The world may not believe in me, but if i believe in myself, i can succeed"
And the list goes on.... Now we've all seen the moments in TV, where people come out of hard times and succeed. Like when the swimmer from the paralympics won the gold medal for Singapore, like the lady from china who had no hands who fed her entire family, like the famous singer who won the competition despite strong adversities against her. All these do one thing, they champion the human spirit. A spirit which all of us have within ourselves. We are for more capable than we are, if we believe we can be.
So if you find yourself stuck in a position where you are incredibly down, look at it at a different point of view - its a perfect way for you to show how strong you really are, how you can display the human spirit. Rejoice in the face of hardships, because without it glory and joy means nothing.
P.S this is for all my buddies who have been complaining to me about their hard lives. Remember, we have the spirit!
There is a song that i really recommend you guys listen to. It'll change the way u see things.
Nickelback - If Today Was Your Last Day
It's your life. LIVE it.
Here are some of those quotes i was talking about;
"A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits"
"The greatest glory comes not from climbing, but from rising each time you fall"
"Even if the world is going to end tommorrow, i will still plant my apple tree today"
"What's worth the prize is always worth the fight"
"The world may not believe in me, but if i believe in myself, i can succeed"
And the list goes on.... Now we've all seen the moments in TV, where people come out of hard times and succeed. Like when the swimmer from the paralympics won the gold medal for Singapore, like the lady from china who had no hands who fed her entire family, like the famous singer who won the competition despite strong adversities against her. All these do one thing, they champion the human spirit. A spirit which all of us have within ourselves. We are for more capable than we are, if we believe we can be.
So if you find yourself stuck in a position where you are incredibly down, look at it at a different point of view - its a perfect way for you to show how strong you really are, how you can display the human spirit. Rejoice in the face of hardships, because without it glory and joy means nothing.
P.S this is for all my buddies who have been complaining to me about their hard lives. Remember, we have the spirit!
There is a song that i really recommend you guys listen to. It'll change the way u see things.
Nickelback - If Today Was Your Last Day
It's your life. LIVE it.
Monday, February 16, 2009
One With Nature
There is something very calming about the serenity of the natural world. Though we live in an urban jungle of glossy-windows and high rise towers, every few hundred kilometers u get a nice spot where the struggles of modern life seem unable to manifest. Yes, i like going to parks - not because i like looking at trees or feeling the heat of the sun - but because of what all these can do for me. I've soon realized that it rejuvenates me.
Though it wasn't a park, i sat myself on a bench that was next to a playground. It was surrounded by grass and there was no shade in sight. I sat there and started to think. In our lives we are faced with many adversities and trials that test our will and purpose. Often the huge flame of motivation dies down in the face of these trials till it is only a small flame on a matchstick that can be blown out by a small gust of wind. You get what i'm saying don't you? I was just very demoralised that day. Stuff happened that made me feel down. And i sat there watching the kids scream their lungs out at the playground, listening to the gentle chirping of the birds and felt the intense heat of the sun beating against my scrawny body. It was like i was in a spa.
As thoughts flooded my brain and i simultaneously sorted out my emotions, the physical feelings of sitting there started to take its effect on me; i started to feel very peaceful and calm, till the point where it seemed like nothing in the world could bother me at that moment. Not suprising, after 45 minutes of sitting there and thinking, i felt remarkably better. Like fire, motivation needs but a single spark to start burning. I left the playground once again knowing what i wanted in my life.
I cant help but wonder. How did sitting at that place have such profound effects on me? It is said that God created the world perfect for man; that everything he needed was here on earth. Perhaps it is. Perhaps we were made to co-exist with the natural world and as it benefits from us, so do we benefit from it.
Perhaps nature is more worth fighting for afterall.
Though it wasn't a park, i sat myself on a bench that was next to a playground. It was surrounded by grass and there was no shade in sight. I sat there and started to think. In our lives we are faced with many adversities and trials that test our will and purpose. Often the huge flame of motivation dies down in the face of these trials till it is only a small flame on a matchstick that can be blown out by a small gust of wind. You get what i'm saying don't you? I was just very demoralised that day. Stuff happened that made me feel down. And i sat there watching the kids scream their lungs out at the playground, listening to the gentle chirping of the birds and felt the intense heat of the sun beating against my scrawny body. It was like i was in a spa.
As thoughts flooded my brain and i simultaneously sorted out my emotions, the physical feelings of sitting there started to take its effect on me; i started to feel very peaceful and calm, till the point where it seemed like nothing in the world could bother me at that moment. Not suprising, after 45 minutes of sitting there and thinking, i felt remarkably better. Like fire, motivation needs but a single spark to start burning. I left the playground once again knowing what i wanted in my life.
I cant help but wonder. How did sitting at that place have such profound effects on me? It is said that God created the world perfect for man; that everything he needed was here on earth. Perhaps it is. Perhaps we were made to co-exist with the natural world and as it benefits from us, so do we benefit from it.
Perhaps nature is more worth fighting for afterall.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Adult Fares
A new dawned upon me and i started the day in absolute confidence that i wouldn't be spending too much that day. Little did i know a horrific dose of reality would unleash itself upon me that would so burn a hole in my (3 years already but still haven't change) wallet. I took the train to Ang Mo Kio that day. I saw that my balance was $0.26, and i presumed after tapping out i would have like -$0.90 or something. But when i tapped out, my vision intensified as i stared at the screen which said -$1.11. I had to top up anyways so i headed over to the machine and popped in 10 bucks for my card. $8.89 left. This time i decided to take a bus cuz i thought i'd get charged 45cents or something. HA! I tapped and just one sharp-pitched beep that signified the adult card sounded. I literally let out a scream as i heard it; driver must've thought i was mad or something. By the end of that day, all i had in my card was 4 bucks. -.- Man what a rip-off.
Now i know it's not like me to bitch about stuff but i really feel like i got scammed by the transport authority. I mean, how can one bus ride cost over a dollar? I aint no math genius, but 1 adult ride is like equal to at least 4 student rides la!
but hey the bitching over rising costs of living aside, i guess its time for me to realize i'm growing up and i'm no longer that kid - or STUDENT - i once used to be. I'm glad i'm doing something that helps me to attain financial freedom, but i am just shocked at the sudden changes.
Oh, and i think i need a new wallet...
Now i know it's not like me to bitch about stuff but i really feel like i got scammed by the transport authority. I mean, how can one bus ride cost over a dollar? I aint no math genius, but 1 adult ride is like equal to at least 4 student rides la!
but hey the bitching over rising costs of living aside, i guess its time for me to realize i'm growing up and i'm no longer that kid - or STUDENT - i once used to be. I'm glad i'm doing something that helps me to attain financial freedom, but i am just shocked at the sudden changes.
Oh, and i think i need a new wallet...
I'm Busy.
I know i've been away for some time. I dont like to admit it, but my time management sucks. It's like, i spend close to 12 hours a day running my business, a few hours of sleep, and whatever free time i have left i spend online watching gay movies (i'm not talking about porn here!) on YouTube or watever website that hosts videos.
I must say, the gay videos are very satisfying, entertaining, and makes me wish i was one of the characters in them! Dont hate me, i'm just gay lol.
Anyways i think imma spend a little more effort on this blog and get them controversial, opinion-oriented posts back up again.
Cheers!
I must say, the gay videos are very satisfying, entertaining, and makes me wish i was one of the characters in them! Dont hate me, i'm just gay lol.
Anyways i think imma spend a little more effort on this blog and get them controversial, opinion-oriented posts back up again.
Cheers!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Yes, We're Gay But...
props to GDProphetXVII for yet another great movie.
we may be gay but we're not who you think we might be; I'm just saying, we may not live up to all your stereotypes.
"Now That You're Out"
hahahaha! this just cracks me up. the last part says it all; be proud of who you are!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Life Is Like A Song
or in my case, a few songs!
you know how it us with us - the moment we're on our own in the bus its straight plug-in. BAM BAM BAM; music blasting into our ears. As i was gently head-banging to the music, i realized something; that many feelings/thoughts i have are potrayed in songs. Here's what i mean. When I think of lets say, dozens of cute guys along orchard road, i think of the song that goes "oooh heaven is a place on earth..." get the picture?
My feelings/thoughts on;
Whye Chiz - First (Lindsay Lohan)
Secondary School - Graduation (Vitamin C)
My Life - When You Believe (David Archuleta)
My Future - Breakaway (Kelly Clarkson)
How to Live - If Today Was Your Last Day (Nickelback)
well the list goes on. Sometimes I use these songs to evaluate my feelings and you may not believe it, but i am able to sort things out and give myself direction after it. Who knows, it might help u too!
I'm sure each of us have a list as unique as we are. What's urs then? What song(s) tell the story of your life? Think about it.
you know how it us with us - the moment we're on our own in the bus its straight plug-in. BAM BAM BAM; music blasting into our ears. As i was gently head-banging to the music, i realized something; that many feelings/thoughts i have are potrayed in songs. Here's what i mean. When I think of lets say, dozens of cute guys along orchard road, i think of the song that goes "oooh heaven is a place on earth..." get the picture?
My feelings/thoughts on;
Whye Chiz - First (Lindsay Lohan)
Secondary School - Graduation (Vitamin C)
My Life - When You Believe (David Archuleta)
My Future - Breakaway (Kelly Clarkson)
How to Live - If Today Was Your Last Day (Nickelback)
well the list goes on. Sometimes I use these songs to evaluate my feelings and you may not believe it, but i am able to sort things out and give myself direction after it. Who knows, it might help u too!
I'm sure each of us have a list as unique as we are. What's urs then? What song(s) tell the story of your life? Think about it.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
'O' levels
Well the day came and went. It was one of the proudest moments of my life.
After a whole year of moping around past results, tears for not passing my maths, rejection of peers, loss of popularity, out of place feelings, i am proud to say i have overcome all those obstacles to achieve the best results i ever could achieve (in my opinion).
Mr Khew called out my name. His voice was barely audible over all the fuss that was going on as all the tears and all the screams echoed throughout the hall. My heart starting to thump a little faster, i walked over and placed my hands in my pockets and gave him a smile. He smiled back at me and told me to sign the papers. I signed em.
Then he gave me my results slip, along with the 'Form A' which totally covered my results. "Good, i'm happy for you." was what he said. Ah Tat stood beside me and said we'd look at our results together. So slid the form A slowly down. First subject; English..... ONE. Next Subject; Combined Humanities... FOUR. Next subject; Mathematics..... FIVE !!!! - at this point i totally lost it and screamed my lungs out. All the attention around the sec 5's area was diverted to me as i screamed so loud i could feel my vocal chords scarring.
I thought u guys might wanna see my results.
English - ONE
Combined Humanities - FOUR
Mathematics - FIVE
Combined Science - ONE
Food and Nutrition - THREE
ELR2B2 aggregrate = 14. L1R4+CCA = 10 (don't ask me why)
-------------
As proud as i am that i have achieved these results, i just wanna say i am deeply disheartened that some of my fellow comrades did not make it. And though it pains me to see u guys sad, i just want to tell you guys that all things happen for a reason. Fight On! Don't give up on yourself.
BELIEVE when others doubt. Take action, when others dont.
After a whole year of moping around past results, tears for not passing my maths, rejection of peers, loss of popularity, out of place feelings, i am proud to say i have overcome all those obstacles to achieve the best results i ever could achieve (in my opinion).
Mr Khew called out my name. His voice was barely audible over all the fuss that was going on as all the tears and all the screams echoed throughout the hall. My heart starting to thump a little faster, i walked over and placed my hands in my pockets and gave him a smile. He smiled back at me and told me to sign the papers. I signed em.
Then he gave me my results slip, along with the 'Form A' which totally covered my results. "Good, i'm happy for you." was what he said. Ah Tat stood beside me and said we'd look at our results together. So slid the form A slowly down. First subject; English..... ONE. Next Subject; Combined Humanities... FOUR. Next subject; Mathematics..... FIVE !!!! - at this point i totally lost it and screamed my lungs out. All the attention around the sec 5's area was diverted to me as i screamed so loud i could feel my vocal chords scarring.
I thought u guys might wanna see my results.
English - ONE
Combined Humanities - FOUR
Mathematics - FIVE
Combined Science - ONE
Food and Nutrition - THREE
ELR2B2 aggregrate = 14. L1R4+CCA = 10 (don't ask me why)
-------------
As proud as i am that i have achieved these results, i just wanna say i am deeply disheartened that some of my fellow comrades did not make it. And though it pains me to see u guys sad, i just want to tell you guys that all things happen for a reason. Fight On! Don't give up on yourself.
BELIEVE when others doubt. Take action, when others dont.
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