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I guess some of you have noticed? There are some ads on the sidebar of my blog. its an alternate way of me trying to earn some money lol. So if u have the heart (and the time) please do click on the ads each time you visit me. thanks a whole bunch. =)

Blog Posts

I know no one has been reading my blog lately so i decided i'd read it myself. It's nice to see the good old days of my life and how i have changed and grown-up, so to say. I have come across some posts that i feel are pleasant to read and i am gonna post the links so that you guys can read em, without having to filter through my whole blog. Imma categorize em too, so enjoy (i hope you guys read em lol)

Compositions/Essays;

Childhood
Family

Life Changing/action inspiring self-thoughts;

One With Nature
Best Friends
The Fragility Of Life In Our Hands
What's Right

Powerful/Controversial Thoughts;

The Future Of Gay People In Singapore, and the world
VOTE EARTH!
5N2 '07 / 5N2 '08?
Dreams v.s. Money
taking a step to having a good life

Good Gay-Themed Posts;

How Does It Feel To Be Gay
The Coming Out Process - The Cast Model
Man Crushes
Is It Right?
Homophobia

When You Need Some Motivation;

The Don't Quit Poem
The Human Spirit
Decisions VS Circumstances (Warning, long post!)
A Beautiful Song

Stuff To Laugh About;

dude, ajmal, and a chick
Adult Fares
Archie my bf.
STORM
The funny things people say.
Technology made me depressed.
stuff to make you laugh abit

of course these are not all the posts that are good, they are just posts that i think are worthwhile reading. i'd love for you to read the rest of my blog, but that's entirely your choice. If you do feel like i am missing some posts from any of the categories, fell free to drop me a message and tell me which post u wanna nominate and for which category. lol

cheers, aj

Kevin And Scotty's Wedding Ceremony

In relation to the previous post, The Future of Gay People in Singapore, and the world, this video is the wedding ceremony of Kevin and his partner, Scotty. It's beautiful if you ask me. It is beyond me why this would be censored from TV, but hey at least here on the internet we can see it. So for those of you who are not offended by homosexuality, please do take a look, and realize that gay marriage can be as beautiful as traditional marriages.

The Future of Gay People in Singapore, in the world

Have you ever watched the show Brothers & Sisters? If you have then you will know a character called Kevin Walker; the lawyer in the family, and he's gay. In the beginning it was a little rough for him, having to deal with his work, family and relationships. More recently however, he met with one of his old buddies and eventually they got married. But of course, i don't intend to tell you the story of the show and/or Kevin. Now i stayed up late cuz i had wanted to digest the food i ate a while ago and i turned on the TV to help kill the time. Brothers & Sisters is one of my favourite drama serials and Kevin is without a doubt, my favourite character. It was the episode that he was supposed to get married. I was so eager as the scenes passed and they got closer to the wedding, it would be the first gay marriage i have ever seen. Then just as the scene came, it got cut and they moved onto the post-wedding scene. My heart just sank in disappointment and i started to ask myself, what happened? "Oh of course, they censored it!"

You get what i'm saying don't you? The MDA (Media Development Authority) has a policy/law against showing homosexual content over the media (even if its not sexual); no broadcast should in any way, justify or glamourize, gay lifestyle. It makes me feel a little bit sad. It almost seems as though it was meant to be hidden from the world, that all gay people should live in secret. It is, of course, not true and many countries around the world are openly accepting its gay population. Now i respect the laws of the MDA, they filter out inappropriate material that shouldn't be broadcasted on national TV. But it comes to question; is gay marriage, inappropriate?

But a little reality check. Singapore is a country that does not criminalise homosexuality - unlike some countries which do. For that i am very thankful. For those of you who have been following the news this past 2 days you would have probably heard about this AWARE thingy going on, where sensitive topics were discussed openly in public, including homosexuality. It just goes to prove that the country is (even if its doing so slowly) opening up to the gay community and I myself have been noticing that alot more gay people are out in the open these days; whether it may be on the media, or even on the streets. Now it is thoughts like these, that make me smile, that make my day.

I am sure in the future years to come homosexuals will be widely accepted not only in this country but also in the world. It is a cause our gay ancestors have been fighting long and hard for and i'm sure they would be proud to see it materialising slowly today. Perhaps schools will start educating the young about homosexuals and this will in turn lead to them being accepted as an integral part of society. Which in turn will lead to less gay-jokes > social classification > isolation > discrimination. A chain effect. Perhaps Singapore would even be a country to legalise same-sex marriage! - HOPE! What a world that would be. On that day, i will be proud to stand up and say "HEY WORLD, I'M GAY!!"

Times are changing and so is the world. We gotta keep up and adapt. I am very hopeful, however, that despite the global warming and economic recessions, that the world is indeed becoming a better place - a world of harmonious co-existence and equality.

Good day!

The only time you'll hear me talk about my love

It was an interestingly good day today. Numerous incredibly-awesome-totally-dope instances passed which include my classmates covering for me, having a great EC tutorial & a super hot guy messaging me. Nonetheless, i wanna mention something that happened today.

We ended up brisk walking to the MRT in an attempt to ditch someone and meet her at the station. The two of them started cracking jokes and poking each other. I laughed and laughed until in the corner of my eye i saw someone; someone vaguely familiar. My brain instinctively screamed his name in my head but i chose not believe it at first. So he walked past the pillar, a blind spot in my line of sight. And there, together with what seemed to be a friend was him. It was really him afterall. I would recognise that face anywhere. Even if my eyes had failed me at that moment i would've still recognised him.

One of the reasons i picked SP was because i could study network marketing. I also knew the poly the most, out of the 5 polys. But however, one other reason was the subconcious knowledge that a certain someone went to that school as well. I knew i would see him eventually, i just didnt think it'd be in that situation or this early in the year. Yes, thats right. I saw Whye Chiz today.

He walked past me without even stealing a glance in my direction - perhaps it was because my friends had me well hid behind their bodies, or perhaps i just had slipped too far in the shadow of his eyes that even if i stood right in front of him he would see right through me. He looked incredibly different, but not the different i wanted to see. He did not look as hunky as i thought he'd always turn out to be, and neither did he improve his sense of stlye and/or personal grooming. Sure he was decent looking and all, but an oversized T-shirt, berms that go 3/4 down his legs, the same old bag and slippers were always his style. At least that didn't change about him. It seemed like his face was scarred by pimples, but that may have just been my imagination, because i pray his beautiful face has not been scarred in any way.

I started to think after he left, and i was on my way to work. It was incredible seeing him today, even though he didnt see me. I haven't seen him in over 2 years. Yet, for some strange reason, i dont feel the same way i used to feel back then. Sure, i still loved him, but not like what i used to before. I smiled, assuring myself that i really had moved on.

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i know i was being a bit dramatic up there but hey u gotta forgive a dude when he hasn't seen the only man he loves in 2 years. No he doesn't know im gay and no i didn't go up and say hi because i feared his reaction. I am not sure i can live with the idea of him still not having forgiven me after all this time, and let it ruin my years in poly. I miss him oh so much but i also dont wanna ruin it all over again. God answered my prayers today when he let me see him again, a prayer i've long since been asking for. I can only pray now that the good Lord lets me talk talk to him again.

You know they say you never forget a first love. As much as i dont want to agree, the statement is true, at least in my case it is. I still love the dude, but not like back then when i was totally nuts and obsessed about him. Besides, he's not as hot as he once was :P

Lol, this must be a bit wierd to people reading this and all, so my apologies. Lemme be cuckoo in this one post okay? XD Dang! im gonna start crying soon lol

"If I know what love is, it is because of you."
--Herman Hesse

Taking a leap of faith

a lone man stood on the edge of a cliff, rapidly contemplating if he should take his leap of faith. He stood there, thinking and thinking, but the more he thought, the more he couldn't do it. It was just one of those things u do without thinking too much. So..

he jumped.


he landed with a big splash and found out he was still alive. In fact, he was more alive than he had ever been. He turned around and looked up at what he had just jumped from. The beauty of it left him speechless.
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Alot of times in our lives we lack the faith to do something incredible and just do it without thinking. We don't trust ourselves to be able to make it and thus we doubt we will. All too many times, a leap of faith into the unknown is rewarded with overflowing blessings. Hope you get the moral behind this one...

I guess i'm gonna do the same and jump off that cliff i've been dreading for so long. I trust God to help me out through it and that i land safely. With that...

I'M COMING OUTTA THE CLOSET FOR GOOD!

isn't about time you took that leap of faith too?

dude,ajmal and a chick

dude: i saw these two lesbians kissing. eww

ajmal: you know, homosexuality is perfectly natural, even animals do it

dude: is it?

ajmal: ya

dude: but i think GAYS are the most gross

ajmal: of course you would say that! ur a straight guy!

chick: U MEAN UR NOT STRAIGHT???

ajmal: ....

table laughs.
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what i think of poly? ---> -.-"