school this year is boring!

ok so i've been in school for like wat? 2-3 weeks? the days seem so long i've lost track. I've realized school aint as fun as it used to be. I really miss my classmates last year. They were fun-loving, united, and most of all, they acted like a class! this year my classmates are boring. chem lab nothing happens; no explosions, no jokes abt amos and ammonia, no nothing! in class its so uneventful i can fall asleep in English class man! This year i hang around the group that sat at the red table along the edge of the canteen cuz its where most of the people i know usually sit. u know, kim yong, meng tat, nelson, jing jing, jacqueline, wan ting blah blah blah. Ryan everday reminds me im skinny lol (and im putting it in a nice way. Nabil talks to me about how it was last year and the O lvls. yong and nels are usually tgt, but when i join em we talk abt GE lol. ah tat is always with jac and i sit with Ryan and Nabil. the teachers said this year's class is serious. more like, boring! they say it helps u focus. but the class doesnt even answer questions that teacher asks. occasionally i hear my name shouted out and i shout the answer back. pretty quiet througout. today during SS remedial Mdm Rozainah asked a question. No one answered, and she was like "Ok Ajmal has just voluntered."
i gave her a look and said "I did?" lol.
Eraidie, Matthew, Amos, Russell, Haikel, Grace, Haumphrey, Wei Leong, Nasiha, Nazira, Chia How, Genisha and Mr Kong i miss you guys lots T-T

reflecting on school last year

long time no blog. anyways im back today cuz a fren of mine asked me to update. so be it then. results for the poly postings were out today. many of my friends applied. so naturally, i sent out lots of sms's to my last yr buddies asking them how they did. im glad to hear that everyone i know got into a course; though some dont actually like it alot. then it got me thinking of how much i miised them in school this year. my classmates this year are well, boring. occasional laughs (as is all 5N classes) but other than that nothing. this really irritating fella called Benny wont shut up. thing i hate more than people who cant shut up are people that wont stop talking crap in each sentence. today he was asking mdm tham why her hair was so curly, and why she didn't rebond it. lol. sure it was funny but only at that moment. quite noisy actually he is. -_-"

it doesnt feel so good to be back in school again; im supposed to move on in life haha. but hey it is a life lesson. i am not tired at the academic syllabus, but im tired thinking of the hard work i have to put in, AGAIN. the double efforts for all my subjects is gonna drive me nuts - but hey at least i have an edge over other 5N students; experience. last year i studied the hardest i ever did in my life, but i neglected my maths to some extent. what a waste considering its the main reason why im back. its just been 1 week of school and im feeling the fatigue already. the emotions, the environment, the circumstances, all taking its toll on me - and to quick in the year! pray i can overcome it.

i msged whye chiz today asking about his result. sad to say he didn't reply me. i am not being paranoid, but i know this because i know him well enough. he prolly deleted the message the moment he saw my name - like what he did when i sent him a greeting on his birthday. Not saying i haven't moved on, but i still dont forget him (though he's prolly forgotten all about me!). some people are special u see, and i dont believe, neither now or in the future, that i will forget him. Best buds are best buds, you cant change that we were.

sch tmr. gotta get to bed. nitez
aj

first day of school.

im up this late cuz i heard the all too familiar sound of my cats name being cried out around my block. yup thats right. little miss Cleo, went out today. she only responds to my call so when ppl like my mom go out and looked for her, her efforts were in vain. But even tually after like an hour of walking around my block and calling out her name i finally managed to locte her. some things in life u cant forget because they mean alot to you. this scene i will never forget. as i called her out from down the corridor, the relief that came to me was almost overwhelming. i was soooo afraid something had happened to her especially since this is little india. to see her running into my arms when i called out my name was so touching to me. i mean yeah imma emotional guy but sheesh!

anyways it was the first day of school and i am not all to happy about it. First and foremost the part i utterly dislike is having to explain myself to everyone. i should just walk around with a signboard over my shoulders like those promoters, imprinted with my reasons for retaking. -_-"

ms toh's reaction was the most proactive. she was so stunned to see me and i could tell she got at least 1/4 of the canteen population interested in what was going on. She was so stumped at the sight of me in my uniform it almost made me feel bad. then yeah i explained to her how i got B3 for science and distinction for english blah blah blah and that i failed maths thats why im back. teahers like ms sri didnt even look suprised to see me and kim yong. she asked in monotone, "how come u are here?" wonder if she was patronising us. but mdm prema is the one that acknowledges us the most. 'the new students' we are dubbed and labelled. everynow and then she will "summon" us and explain to us what is going on. i guess at least we are recognised, but it gets irritating once u hear 'the new students' every 3 minutes. -_-" i had my 2 minutes of fame when she asked if anyone had a distinction for english. i raised my hand and there we go, shower of praises. lol. she is like, "i have never taught Ajmal english or humanities before, i know him just by familiarisation, but i know his language has been consistent throughout, not just the average scores but he has always been an above average student." I'm like GOSH when will this english pro thing quit nagging me lol. Here we go again, another year of 'expected english proness'. pressure u know? i just finished the test and i'm already wondering if i passed. Perhaps its good cuz it will make me get my A1 this year? hopefully.

these are my teachers for this year;

maths - mdm tan siao wei (if i didnt spell wrongly), she gained loads of weight.
english- mdm prema
physics - mr seow a.k.a THE VISUALISER
chemistry - mdm tham!!
social studies - mdm prema T_T
geography - ms kaur !!! =D
mother tongue - mr mohammad, but im taking MLB so i just sit at the back and do my own thing.
F&N - mdm sri.

regardless of the teachers, i think its personal self-discipline that matters. if u wanna study even the worst teacher wont hinder u. Besides i have the entire school teaching faculty for consultation and the kind offers of numerous friends and teachers. i should prolly go out drinking sometime soon (im gonna be 18 anyways!~) and toast to the year. school, here i come!~

p.s. Haikel if u read my blog sry i keep postponing our meetings, im just really busy i guess.

cheers to the year 2008, and the O level yet another time round!~
aj =D

GE down, in time for school

It's Sunday, yup the Lord's day. My prayers were answered today, in a way i kinda didn't want lol. I wanted to kick the gaming addiction and guess what? My GE stopped working. -_-"
Gee, of all the times, juz as im about to vet my first team!

Somehow i know now i like to be emotional, or something like that. I love watching heartwrenching shows, and shows that make u cheer along with the actors. Love shows and all that kinda chick stuff. Now what kinda guy likes chick flicks? A gay guy! Being gay is ok, but not being a woman. I was suprised today i took 30 mins to pick my clothes and to wear them for church. Gosh im turning into a woman LOL.

Didn't play GE today, sad. lvl 93 already T_T. I have school in like, 7 or 8 hours so bye bye Granado Espada. Hopefully, with the Lord's grace, i will do well this time round, perhaps even better than i did before. A brother from church came back frm Australia today. He was telling me how if u have a church and the support from them, u can face anything u come across. remember he shared this verse, cant remember where it is found but it went, "I can do all things with Christ's strength" or something like that. Aite i'll end here. no pics today, cuz i had nth to snap, exact maybe a pic of Harold doing his chin ups when i went to meet him LOL jokin. I wonder how the airport is doing. Did they miss me? LOL

aj

The time is coming to an end. Reaching Veteran status!

the second day of CNY was finally over yesterday. It didn't rain so matt u win, haha. I didn't go out with my new fren yesterday (Ric not Rei) cuz he didn't sms. too bad. invited me out today but i turned him down cuz i said i was busy. YEAH RIGHT. i was busy playing GE thats what i was doing. dont get me wrong - he's a nice guy and i would love to meet him, but GE has me hooked like a fish on a million dollar golden hook. Not a single day goes by where i dont play. omgosh wats happenin to me? o.O here comes the gaming addiction, again.

I'm lvl 92 now and i'm afking right now. Afk lvling is part and parcel of GE life but i dont usually do it. Chances are the monster will knock u back and u will die then stay alive throughout the whole afk (away from keyboard = afk). 90% of my GE gaming i manual, instead of afk, since i need the loots for money anyways. prolly why i love the game so much cuz im always involved in everthing my characters do and nt afk through the moments they lvl up or stance up. my fighter has maxed out Roof Guard (Great Sword stance) and has moved on to Blandir Cruz (polearm stance). Already lvl 13. u know wat that means, when he reaches 25, i will have but 3, yes just 3, stances to max! i decided im going to grind untill i become a veteran(which is at lvl 100) then just stop. i can feel the strain on myself. sometimes i juz walk away from GE after 5 or 6 hrs of it and juz go watch tv. then come back and grind for another 5 or 6 hrs. (leave my characters afk in between of course!) though i must say, as bad as i make it sound, GE is really awesome. some ppl like me will get addicted, but im sure some can resist. wats more im one of the 'high-levels' so its much more enjoyable. I must say i am really proud of JeanSebastien (my persistently tanking Fighter), Rachel (my forevver healing Scout) and Omnes (my always elemental spamming Elementalist). They have come a long way since lvl 1, and now they are at their peak levels before becoming veterans. All that effort i put in didnt go to waste ^^

bored.

im bored tonight so i came up to blog. woulda been meeting some guy along bugis for coffee but nah its late - no time for dates lol. i've got visitation tmr morn and i dont know why im nt sleeping. prolly one of those days you dont feel like sleeping. Actually i have a lot of those days. I'd love to catch u guys up on whats been goin on recently, but there is nothing going on. i'm gaming so hard these days i even lose track of the days that go by. wat date is it today? i dont even know -_-"

i aint chinese but at least im doing something this CNY. Richard (some new guy i met) said he watches fireworks every year during this time, though i have yet to see any. I guess you could say i haven't been myself lately - too much gaming perhaps. im going to reach level 100 soon (already 90) but at what cost? makes u wonder.

The Book of Hosea

I'm up early today cuz i couldn't sleep. Well i guess you could say something happened. Something happened that made me take up my bible and start reading it. Don't need to get into details, but i can tell you what i read and discovered.

Remember how i said that my body wasn't what i wanted? well i found a verse that is somewhat comforting, though it doesn't have direct relevance to having the body of my dreams.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV)

The thing i like about that verse is it tells me directly 'you are not your own; you were purchased at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.' And there goes my insecurities of not having a good body lol.

Anyways for those of you who dont know, the bible consists of 66 books; ranging from the beggining till the revelation. Out of these 66 books is one of the most quoted old-testament authors, Hosea. Hosea is considered a minor prophet only because his prophecy isn't as long as the major ones like Isaiah and Jeremiah, though his ministry wasn't 'minor'. He prophecied over 50 years and during the times of 4 kings of Israel.

In this book i happened to find a similar pattern (as my church was discussing) that follows in Hosea; God first punishes Israel, condems them etc, and then restores them again. Around three cycles this happened, but each time the punishment/restoration process was longer than the one before. I love this book because it shows how angry God can be.

"Because of their wickedness in Gilgal, I hated them there. Because of their sinful deeds, I will drive them out of my house. I will no longer love them; all their leaders are rebellious." - Hosea 9:15

I mean many times as u will see if u read, God curses them and 'disowns' them. "Hear this you priests! Pay attention you Israelites! Listen O royal house! This judgement is against you - many times God says something like this. But to me the best part of this book was about God's great love for Israel. Now we know how Israel sinned greatly against the Lord with all their idols and prostitution, but the mercy God shows on them is heart-melting to me. "It was I who taught Ephraim how to walk, taking them by the arms; but they did not realize it was I who healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them." - I dunno about you, but this doesn't sound like a person who used to be angry. Seems to me that God was rather sad when he said that. But the most touching part to me is found slightly later in the passage, where God completely turns from his wrath and shows them compassion.

"How can i give you up, Ephraim? How can i hand you over, Israel? How can i treat you like Admah? How can i make you like Zeboiim? My heart is changed within me; all my compassion is aroused. I will not carry out my fierce anger, nor will i turn and devastate Ephraim. For I am God, and not man- the Holy One among you. I will not come in wrath." - Hosea 11:8-9

I just cannot believe, sometimes how God can love us till that extent. To my limited human understanding, it seems like what the Israelites did to God was like crossing the limit after all God did for them. But then again, i am reminded that God is God, not man. 'For I am God, and not man - the Holy One among you'. He doesn't have our limitations and is capable of love greater than that of human comprehension. It really brings tears to my eyes whenever i think of how much He loves, because it is truly absolute love, that He gives.

Minor prophet also not bad ar? So many things we can learn from it. Signing of here.
aj

A Wierd Sunday.

Hey. As u guys who read prolly already know, i love my sundays. That's cuz i have church on that day and i am oh so happy to attend sunday school and church services. (sunday school is for adults too at my church!) Today i woke up kinda late, maybe cuz i was up GE-ing the whole night, but at least i made it to church. I cant believe i actually told myself to "skip church for today la, u so tired!" it almost felt like it wasn't me i was hearing. Anyways i DID get up, and go to church. after yesterday's starring at manikins and clothes i had inspirations on clothes to wear, what to mix and match etc. I ended up picking a ralph lauren shirt with horizontal stripes across it (since vertical stripes would make me look taller and therefore skinnier) and i borrowed my bro's belt with intricate designs on it. At orchard, i noticed that alot of the fashion for men flaunts the belt. so i figured, why not? i tucked in my shirt a little and showed my belt (or shld i say my bros belt! lol) i put on a tie for fun and i was amazed at how it looked (thx rei, u inspired me with that lol) and headed to church. Great thing is that i looked decent enough and did not attract that much attention. i go to church to worship God, nt get attention lol.

anyways i kinda felt really tired at church. kept awake during sunday school where we were discussing and studying the book of Hosea, but during service i shut my eyes (but i was still listening lol) the wierd thing is that usually i digest most of the things i learn in church, but today my fatigue overcame my understanding i guess, though the theme for today was rather simple; Jesus the redeemer of sins. Puzzled really. Perhaps it is a sign la, that i am spending too much time on games lol. God is more important anyways. I dont wanna 'gather treasures on earth', and leave my spiritual life untouched. Haha. Imma go off now, tmr i have an interview with Madam Aini (principal) for retaking O lvls. Hope it goes well, hope i can WAKE UP, lol. =)

signing off,
aj

Good Looks Are Something That God Gives.

As i said yesterday, i went out with Harold today. Jian Kai had a stomachache so he couldn't join us - yet he still could go to work. Despo for money la that fella. No news about Melvin. Seems like Harold doesn't like him as much either (no suprise really, he isn't the nicest guy to be ard).

We went around the whol of vivo city like twice, and Harold couldn't find a shirt that suited his taste. He wanted to get one for CNY. I looked in the mirror at the shops and compared the reflection to the manikins on display there. "God i wish i looked as good as they did" i told myself lol. A plastic figure looks better than i do LOL! Anyways it was just the begining of a day of self-realization. We moved on to Orchard Road after vivo. Far East Plaza, Tangs and Isetan, but harold still didnt get what he wanted. All the while i was comparing myself to the manikins there haha. Sometimes a couple of dudes will walk in and look really good, and i will stop and look down at the clothes i was wearing haha. Finally at Wisma Atria Harold found ONE shirt he wanted. yes, ONE. walked around from 1 pm to 6 pm for him to buy ONE shirt. -_-" lol.

We went to shaw house after that to catch a movie, since he was dying to watch one with me. I treated him to the tickets but he didn't seem to like the show. We watched 'Dan In Real Life' but harold wanted to watch sweeney todd. There was no way i would watch a show with that much violence and bloodshed, just not who i am. Besides, we weren't 18 (but the ticket sellers didnt seem to mind haha XDD) Harold said the show was a waste of money but by hte end of the show he changed his mind. It was a hilarious yet touching movie about this father who falls in love with his brother's girlfriend. It's more of a go-out-on-a-date movie but hey who says two guys cant watch it? haha. Went walking around the Esplanade and city hall by the riverside lol. really like a date hor? LOL! Harold said he didn't mind being 'romantic' with me cuz im his good fren lol. I'm like "whatever". Headed back to TPY after that for Harold to pack his Long John and we headed home.

You see, the thing about being me is that i am constantly bombarded with the idea of looking good in clothes and fashion etc. That's why Fashion Police and Project Runway are some of my often watched shows. But hey God has not given me a body like that of those manikins and the clothes that look soooo good on em. I believe la, if i were not as scrawny, i would look much better. Whatever it is, God has given me THIS body and i should be happy about it. Being human as i am, i wonder how it would feel to look good and such. It's natural. What's more Rei is a stylish guy and it doesnt make me feel better LOL. But as i say, good looks are something that God gives, and if u dont look as good, it's for a perfectly good reason. I thank God i have a healthy body. Though it may not be the best like those male models and such, at least i am normal enough to function. =)

this is a pic of a manikin i took in wisma atria. its women's clothes but i juz thought it looked really nice. take a look at the beautiful design.




the Lord's day tmr, gotta get to bed.
aj

1st Feb Already. So Fast.

Today i was supposed to have a doctor's appointement at the hospital. I didnt wake up so i missed it. Anyways dont really wanna go cuz i think its pretty much a waste of money. It's all about this quest to find out if i really have Marfan's Syndrome. What if i dont have? then how? Just relief only bah, but think of all the wasted time and money. Each time i go its refer here and refer there. Can refer untill some cardiology centre some more. I mean, my heart is alright (at least i think it is). Cant say u shouldn't trust the words of doctors, but its been long and i had to tahan dunno how many blood tests le. Just to satisfy the professional advice of the doctors (and my mom), i am gonna reschedule the appointments. Hopefully dont waste my time this time round.

Cannot wake up for doc's appointement, but can wake up to makan with Matt and Eraidie. Funny right? hahaha. Anyways at least i had a fairly good time out with them, though it was raining but we managed to make some jokes about it. (matt if it rains during CNY im gonna LAUGH!) lol. The grilled chicken i had was nice, but i've had better. Matt was telling us about his work and such, as usual, and eraidie was quiet the whole time, as usual. lol. Even after O levels people are still the same haha. But the outing was shortlived though (if im not using the word wrongly) cuz matthew got tired while we were walking around city-link. So we went home lor. I reached home around 530, when i left at 315 lol. At least i enjoyed it to some extent la haha. Tmr also going out, with harold, jian kai and melvin (the packer/runner gang lol). Sunday its church and monday i have to go back to school for an interview with the principal. It's basically go out for me this few days. Hmm, maybe tuesday can invite Rei out haha. Dont think he will come la. xD anyways its about time i get to bed now, its 148 am on my computer.

p.s. Just found out that it's the leap year this year. Cool. 29th Feb must be interesting i hope.

singing off while yawning lol
aj

31/01/2008 - My Last Day of Work

For nearly 2 months now, i have been working in the airport. I guess you could say i've grown acustomed to it, seeing how i feel so wierd now that i dont have to go to work. The first week was as if i were in hell, but hey it became much better as the weeks went by. Though i admit i vamboozled (not a word but i like to use it) the cabbies and my manager a few times by pretending to sleep and not answering their calls, i must say that some part of me wishes they would call again so that i could go to work. The main reason being Rei, you know me, always nuts over guys that make me happy (like Whye Chiz!).

The day was basically the same as any other - slacking at the counter and having a great chat with the cashier till a customer drops by to pay for something. That's basically life at T2, now that they moved the SQ flights over to T3. Sometimes supervisor calls to help bring packages over to T3 or sales staff asks u to help stocks, but basically that's what happens, usually. Rei treated me to dinner that day, cuz he siad he wanted to 'celebrate' my last day. How cool of him. He got me pasta - Seafood Sambal Spaghetti, and as wierd as it sounds, it's ten times better in taste! Recommended by aj lol. Anyways we had a great chat (unlike meals with Melvin where were usually quiet) and at 642 on his watch he wanted to make a run for it so we wouldnt be late. We weren't. We were like 5 mins or so early (told u Rei we wont be late!). And it was basically normal except for people once in a while reminding me that it's my last day haha. The people there were really sweet to me. When they said T2 staff were like family i didn't know what they meant till that day =). Tracy (my cashier for the day) counted down with me my final 15 mins of work lolz. At 11, Rei signaled to me that it was time to go and i went around to those ppl i knew and shook their hands. lol. Typical greetings from them. "all the best, wish u luck in your life, study hard!" When i went in Rozie the supervisor (who screamed at me once and i've been terrified of ever since) was talking onthe phone so i juz punched out with Rei first. I passed her my name tag and she was like "Why are you giving me this?" lol. she look so stunned. "It's my last day here!" i said. Then for a moment Rozie seemed to let down her lioness attitude and she started to talk to me as if i were a human being and not a 'slacker packer' (which i am not!). Cool. That's wat made it all the more heartfelt when i left the place. But no that wasn't the end. I chose to wait for Rei while he gave Rozie his schedule. So i waited, and waited.... and waited. LOL. (At least i learnt that his braces have to be maintained once every 6 weeks LOL) He took some time, but when he was finally done, we rushed for the train. It was 1120 already and there was no way we would catch the train. Tried to tell him that, but he didnt really slow down till we were almost at the station. We got there and guess what? NO TRAIN! lol. i was right hehe. we walked back and we both went to the bus terminal. And Rei wanted to wait till my bus arrived since i waited for him (it was already there but the driver needed to pee i guess hahaha). How sweet of him right? Seriously how often u get to meet people like that? If it were Jian Kai he would've run off when his bus came no matter how long i waited with him lol. Finally i shook hands with him and thanked him for being a fren to me. He says we should go out soon but i doubt that'll ever happen. Usually with friends its just the time we are together that they care abt each other (at least for me its been like that). Got off at Dhoby Ghaut and walked back. Didn't realize the walk from Dhoby Ghaut back to my place would take 30 mins! Cool! Haha. I was glad about the whole situation, cuz i learnt many things while working and for sure i'll bring it with me. =)

aj