There comes a time in every person’s life when you look back
and ask yourself “what the heck am I
doing with my life?” Many things prompt this question – being stuck in a
routine, increasing financial debt, growing older or even falling sick. Whilst
most people aren’t immune to this phenomena, when you’re in your twenties, this
question seems to pop up every few years or so.
Landed that job in a field that you had pictured to be much
more glamorous than what it really is. Suddenly realize that your relationship
of several years doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. That grand plan to make
yourself financially free by your mid-twenties isn’t bearing any real fruit.
You’re not as energetic as you used to be and you’re starting to become whiny
like your parents whom you said you’d never be like. You’re telling people
you’re becoming old even though you’re only twenty-seven.
You get the picture. Whilst the specifics and the
circumstances of each are different, most of us who are in our twenties seem to
go through this phase. It seems that in our twenties we are most likely to hit
dead-ends, make huge mistakes and commit ourselves to things we may not
necessarily be able to fulfill.
Is there even a meaning to all this? Perhaps there is -
metamorphosis. You know, that process where a Caterpie… errr I mean, a caterpillar
becomes a butterfly. If you think about it, metamorphosis is kind of scary. The
caterpillar’s structure is completely broken down, and it starts to reform itself.
The soon to emerge butterfly looks almost nothing like the caterpillar that it
was before.
I guess in many ways, being in your twenties is kind of like
that process. We start to question many of our ideals and goals. We form new
habits and gain new perspectives on life, shift our priorities to things we
never imagined we would, all the while not knowing if what we are doing is, for
lack of a better term, right. In
other words, we are creating that butterfly, and we have almost no idea how
it’s going to look like.
Lets be honest, this is a relatively difficult time where
we’re sandwiched between the responsibilities of adulthood and the playfulness
of youth.
It also doesn’t help that society exerts all that pressure on us but goes
back on forth on that as well. When it chooses to, we’re adults (“you’re old
enough now, be responsible for your life”) and at other times, call us kids
(“you’re too inexperienced to know what’s good for you”). There is truth to
both of these, but for someone who is trying to discover themselves and their
place in the world and in society, this can be quite confusing and
disorienting. It is no wonder, so many of us end up banging our heads on walls
trying to figure out which direction to go.
I’m not a girl/boy, not yet a woman/man, right?
But perhaps, that’s exactly the great thing about being in
your twenties. We are not yet so jaded about life and carry a relatively light
emotional baggage to that of people who are much older. We still hope and
dream, and have the enough (albeit dwindling) vitality to pursue them. Yet at
the same time, we are mature enough to see the importance of responsibility, to
make rational choices that will likely change our lives, and are capable of
holding our own in the world around us. There isn’t any other time in our lives
that we get to experience the in-betweens of adulthood and youth like we do
when are in our twenties.
Maybe if we looked at it that way, being in our twenties
isn’t so bad after all. That’s not to say that it makes this phase of life any
easier.
Coming back to that caterpillar analogy. Even a caterpillar
knows that it is completely vulnerable when it is going through its
metamorphosis. As such, before that happens, it encases itself in a hard cocoon
to make it’s protected. Maybe that’s what we ourselves need to do to make sure
that we are protected, so that the butterfly inside can emerge unhindered.
What are some of these ways we can protect ourselves then?
Some of us use religion. Others logic. Some of us shield ourselves with friends
and family, while others isolate themselves from everyone else. To be honest, I
feel that all of these ways are brilliant, and should be used to balance each
other out. After all, the negativity of the world can be really hard to fend
off, and we should have a diverse strategy in handling it. Each of these works
differently for each of us, and no one really knows which would be best, other
than us. Yet another thing to work out during this phase… As if we didn’t have
enough already.
Ultimately, that is the joy of growing up and experiencing
life; that we teach ourselves to do it (with a little help from everyone else
of course). Along the way, we learn how love and compassion build us up and
arrogance and hate tear us down. There probably isn’t any better way to get
through it other than rolling up our sleeves and just doing it. At this point
in our lives, the world really is in our hands and we choose how we want to
shape it.
Perhaps we can all embrace this phase of our life with all
its adversity and triumph, without being overly jaded and complacent. At the
end of the day, we ought to make it a goal to become brilliant people with all
the hopes of our youth and the wisdom and skill of our adulthood.
So here’s to wishing you a great twenty-hood. May you become
that brilliant butterfly that is waiting to burst forth.
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