I am A J-mal.

I was discussing this the other day with my bestest gay friend. Most people out there know that homosexuals are known as well, gay. But I bet many don't know that like in different countries they call themselves different things.

Like in Malaysia they're called PLU which stands for 'People Like Us'
In China they're called something in chinese that literally translates into 'comrades'
And here in Singapore we're called AJ - i know. Sounds like someone you know doesn't it? :P

My gym buddy said that I was predestined to be gay because even my name has the acronyms of the gay term. Even though I think we're all predestined to be what we eventually become, I still think its kinda funny, and amazingly accurate how YOU ARE WHAT YOUR NAME IS. Lol.

I think the terminology was created so we can stay discreet, and I guess I pretty much just outed everyone didn't I? Lol. So don't tell anyone about these terms hahaha.

marr's super-awesome post.

" Love is temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides, And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessnessm it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both and art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two. "

i took this from my besty's blog. i think she perfectly describes what love in its essence is. read more of it to find out about her life and her relationship with her sweet boyfriend, seriously.

i salute you marr. congratulations on your love for each other. best buds always, aj.

i need you guys right now, like really.

dear blog buddies (that means you who's reading this), i need a little favour from you. i'm trying my best not to think of a certain someone, as you can imagine i would do if you read the previous posts. Now, if i'm alone at home and rotting away, i feel desperately lonely and i start thinking of him. can you guys please drag me out of this depressing house and keep me company? i need to spend my time with someone, lest i start spamming him with smses again.

thanks once again to my best-buds for keeping me company these couple of days to take my mind off him. And thank you in advance for those of you who are gonna drag me out. =D

i need someone to be with tommorrow, that is the 14th of September (technically its today, but whatever laaaa).

send me a message! cheers.

How's Life?

We've all heard it before. The uber-common phrase when we speak to someone we dont see sooo often. "How's life?" I'm not much on mediocrity so I don't believe in giving mediocre answers like "ok lor," or "its alright." So lemme share with you a little analogy on life I have.

Life to me is like an orchestra piece. It compromises of many sections and parts, of many movements and phases, with many different emotions and messages.

My life compromises of soooo many things and people. It moves through many phases; some happy some sad, some peaceful some MAD. So many emotions and messages come into play and influence the mood of my life, it's barely even describable. Just as all the components of an orchestra piece come together and form a perfect musical masterpiece, the many components of my life fall into place and then you realize everything is meant to be the way it is; and like the we hear the beauty of a perfect chord, i see the beauty of life this way.

So next time you decide to ask me such a question, be prepared for an answer like that. To make things easier for you, just don't ask me. Lol.

Life's Directions.

Life is probably the most interesting on Earth. I mean, each living being on this planet has a life that is so different from every other life; and it's simply spectacular what life can do.

Being away from this blog for ages, my life has, naturally, been incredibly eventful. And the only reason I'm back here today is because my besty said "it's been a long time since you've blogged."
I realised I've transformed so much on the inside, it's almost as if the same Ajmal doesn't exist anymore.

It's no doubt that being gay has influenced and impacted the way I live my life in a large way. However, I'd never imagine it would be of that magnitude. For some time now, my life has been all about, as Lady Gaga's song goes; Boys, boys, boys! You don't wanna know what I'd gotten into, really.

As is many things in life, nothing is for certain, and nothing is completely secure, especially relationships. Uncountable heartbreaks had left my soul drained and my body unable to battle the challenges of everyday life and its perpetual temptations. I merely let myself drift in the sands of time - something I would previously NEVER let myself do.

As my mind transformed, so did my life. It's just a testament to what thinking does to your life. I can tell you that I'm no longer that innocent little boy from secondary school. Its my last year as a teenager and I'm really glad i experienced what I did.

A close friend of mine asked me plainly - what happened to the Ajmal I used to know? I did not know how to answer him, because I knew exactly what he was talking about. For a while in my life, I looked in the mirror and did not recognise the man I saw.

No sensation is the same as when you once again realise for yourself where you want your life to go. My friend may have asked a simple question, but it set off a flurry of thoughts in my head. And I used to be the one who would set his life in perspective, and tell him to wake up. Aah how the tables have turned! I cannot say that everything in life is now set in the right motion, but I can say it's somewhat back on track. Still hang onto old habits, but its no longer a cause for distraction - or at least, it shouldn't be.

For now I'm just going to sit back and watch life unfold it's magnificence unto my undeserving eyes, and have faith that things will work out for the better. I have never regretted things that have happened to me and this time its no different. You know what they say, 'everthing happens for a reason.'

LIVE your life, not survive it. But don't restrict yourself to what people say it should be. It's your life and you decide its course. We LIVE and we LEARN.

Cheers to everyone who lives.