Coming Out All Over Again...

"I have something to tell you. I don't exactly like girls. Get what i'm saying?"
"Erm dude, i like guys...*innocent look*"
"I just wanna get this off my chest. *Breathes deeply* I'm gay."
"There's something you should know about me. I don't care what you say or think about me. I am who i am. I am gay."

Some of the lines that i have used in the past to enlighten my friends as to why i never spoke to them about girls i liked, or would talk about girls in a cheeky way etc etc etc. After 4 years of realizing who i am, I am at utmost confidence of myself. Yet, when i am put into new surroundings and i am forced to mingle, i often hold back the whole 'i'm gay' card and try my best to fit in while being myself. I don't laugh at gay jokes, but i don't say anything either. It's as if I am back in secondary school and i'm trying to come out all over again. I often avoid the subject and my tongue ties itself up when i try to use my famous lines up there. Basically, i'm having problems coming out to the new group of people i meet in my life.

The fact is that as a homosexual you come out many times in your life. When you go to the mall and see an old relative and she asks about your girlfriend. When you meet up your old school-mates and they ask you hows life. So on and so forth. Part of being an open homosexual is being able to come out to people comfortably and still respect yourself at the end of the day even though the person you met may not. Imma huge people pleaser. I do my best to be as diplomatic and please all parties involved in any situation. That's my nature. This kinda conflicts withs my views on homosexuality because when i come out i need to educate people, not sway to their opinion of who i am. What can i say, being gay and Ajmal is hard. Funny, being Ajmal also means being gay! :D

It takes a tremendous amount of courage to come out to someone for the first time, though it gets gradually easier the more you do it. You could not imagine how insecure i was when i first came out, unless of course you have come out youself lol. Somehow or rather, i am a little excited about the rejections i will face when it happens and how i will handle them. I just pray that i do not crumble under the pressure. If i do, i can only reach out for my phone and call Matthew, Marr or Kim Yong. LOL. XD - thanks guys for always being there. =)

And thank you (you know who you are) for recognising how much courage it takes to come out. Gimme a pat on my shoulder sometime and say "i'm glad for you. congratulations." - that's all i wanna hear ^^

happy gay pride month!
aj.

Sit Down and Wait, or Stand Up and Fight?

As SPECTACULAR as that PinkDot event was to me, i couldn't help but ask myself, why there was no hype on the local media like on channel 5 etc, or why i did not hear of this event on TV. Is Singapore still not ready for events like this to be broadcast on national TV? Somehow, i don't think so. Maybe if we lived just 10 years ago the idea of having such an event would be... absurd, wierd and WRONG even, maybe. But things are different now and the world is steadily accepting the LGBT community. So why not Singapore media? I'm still kinda fed up at why they removed the gay wedding scene in the show Brothers & Sisters lol.

Our gay forefathers have fought long and hard for many years in courts and parliaments and communities just so that we can live as equal human beings. Its pretty much the same as a country (take Scotland, USA, Jerusalem and even Singapore for example) who has had to fight its way to gain independence, to not let other people's beliefs and cultures be passed off as your own. To fight for an equal stand in the world. Our gay forefathers must be so proud today to see that their dreams are finally materializing into society today.

However, it is not our duty to be complacent that our rights will always be there. It took many years of fighting to establish laws of protection for being beaten 'because he was gay'. What makes us think that these rights will always be around? Just as our forefathers let us reap the benefits of their hard work, so must we let the future generations reap the hardwork we sow today. My message is; don't just sit around and wait for things in the world to start falling into place, stand up and fight for it! As the words of the great Mahatma Ghandi said, "be the change you want to see in the world."

As for all you straight people, this fight does not elude you. You have friends who are homosexuals and/or bisexual. Helping to stand up for them is like helping to stand up for your friends when they are bullied. Although we have made great changes already, we cannot do it alone. We are afterall, one people, one nation, one Singapore. :P don't we all deserve to live in a country where all are equal despite race, religion, economic background, SEXUALITY?

so once again. Sit Down and Wait, or Stand Up and Fight?

PinkDot & The LGBT Community.

I couldn't believe my eyes when i first saw it, but yes. After so many years of being in silence, the LGBT communuty is coming out of the closet and into Singapore's society. In one of my earlier posts i did mention that there are more people that are coming and and embracing homosexuality as a part of life. Not that there weren't homosexuals back then or that there were lesser, it's just that at that time society wasn't exactly very welcoming of us and that led to the relative 'silence' of the LGBT Community. Now, i could'nt believe my eyes when i saw it, but my visions for gay people is coming true indeed. An organisation called PinkDot held an event on the 16th of May this year (2009) and the turnout was much more than expected.

PinkDot.Sg is an organisation that gives individuals, business and people a platform to stand up againt prejudism and identify themselves as advocates of a more 'loving Singapore'. So if you would like to support this cause, feel free to join them in Facebook where they have over 5,700 members already signed up with this groundbreaking organisation.

LGBT/GLBT - stands for The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender / Gay, Lesbian Bisexual, Transgender community in any country. For those of you who don't know, well now you don't have an excuse. :)