i need you guys right now, like really.

dear blog buddies (that means you who's reading this), i need a little favour from you. i'm trying my best not to think of a certain someone, as you can imagine i would do if you read the previous posts. Now, if i'm alone at home and rotting away, i feel desperately lonely and i start thinking of him. can you guys please drag me out of this depressing house and keep me company? i need to spend my time with someone, lest i start spamming him with smses again.

thanks once again to my best-buds for keeping me company these couple of days to take my mind off him. And thank you in advance for those of you who are gonna drag me out. =D

i need someone to be with tommorrow, that is the 14th of September (technically its today, but whatever laaaa).

send me a message! cheers.

How's Life?

We've all heard it before. The uber-common phrase when we speak to someone we dont see sooo often. "How's life?" I'm not much on mediocrity so I don't believe in giving mediocre answers like "ok lor," or "its alright." So lemme share with you a little analogy on life I have.

Life to me is like an orchestra piece. It compromises of many sections and parts, of many movements and phases, with many different emotions and messages.

My life compromises of soooo many things and people. It moves through many phases; some happy some sad, some peaceful some MAD. So many emotions and messages come into play and influence the mood of my life, it's barely even describable. Just as all the components of an orchestra piece come together and form a perfect musical masterpiece, the many components of my life fall into place and then you realize everything is meant to be the way it is; and like the we hear the beauty of a perfect chord, i see the beauty of life this way.

So next time you decide to ask me such a question, be prepared for an answer like that. To make things easier for you, just don't ask me. Lol.

Life's Directions.

Life is probably the most interesting on Earth. I mean, each living being on this planet has a life that is so different from every other life; and it's simply spectacular what life can do.

Being away from this blog for ages, my life has, naturally, been incredibly eventful. And the only reason I'm back here today is because my besty said "it's been a long time since you've blogged."
I realised I've transformed so much on the inside, it's almost as if the same Ajmal doesn't exist anymore.

It's no doubt that being gay has influenced and impacted the way I live my life in a large way. However, I'd never imagine it would be of that magnitude. For some time now, my life has been all about, as Lady Gaga's song goes; Boys, boys, boys! You don't wanna know what I'd gotten into, really.

As is many things in life, nothing is for certain, and nothing is completely secure, especially relationships. Uncountable heartbreaks had left my soul drained and my body unable to battle the challenges of everyday life and its perpetual temptations. I merely let myself drift in the sands of time - something I would previously NEVER let myself do.

As my mind transformed, so did my life. It's just a testament to what thinking does to your life. I can tell you that I'm no longer that innocent little boy from secondary school. Its my last year as a teenager and I'm really glad i experienced what I did.

A close friend of mine asked me plainly - what happened to the Ajmal I used to know? I did not know how to answer him, because I knew exactly what he was talking about. For a while in my life, I looked in the mirror and did not recognise the man I saw.

No sensation is the same as when you once again realise for yourself where you want your life to go. My friend may have asked a simple question, but it set off a flurry of thoughts in my head. And I used to be the one who would set his life in perspective, and tell him to wake up. Aah how the tables have turned! I cannot say that everything in life is now set in the right motion, but I can say it's somewhat back on track. Still hang onto old habits, but its no longer a cause for distraction - or at least, it shouldn't be.

For now I'm just going to sit back and watch life unfold it's magnificence unto my undeserving eyes, and have faith that things will work out for the better. I have never regretted things that have happened to me and this time its no different. You know what they say, 'everthing happens for a reason.'

LIVE your life, not survive it. But don't restrict yourself to what people say it should be. It's your life and you decide its course. We LIVE and we LEARN.

Cheers to everyone who lives.

National Day - What Does It Mean?

Now I know you guys must have heard the theme song for this year's National Day Parade. It's really bad, no offense to Electrico. To be honest, it really sucks! hahaha. I know it's supposed to be artistic and that is the typical kind of music that the band plays and all, but it's really not the way we all know NDP to be. For years we've been mesmerised by patriotic tunes like "Count On Me Singapore", "We Are Singapore" and "Stand Up For Singapore" - This year's song just doesn't match up to it.

Anyways, finally having gotten that off my chest, I was thinking today. What does National Day really mean to us, as Singaporeans. Are we really celebrating 44 years of independence, or are we just happy to see the fireworks and the performances in the parade? I started to think back to the days when Singapore was still a third world country (by the way did u know they called Singapore 'Temasek' in the 19th Century? I had no idea. So basically Temasek Polytechnic is literally 19th Century Singapore Polytechnic LOL kidding kidding :P)

I mean back then, the people of this country were living in poor health and less than sufficient homes, like many other Asian cities were. My mom tells me they had to poop in little cabins outside their kampongs and then wait for the waste collector to come and get it. Later got diarrhea how sehh?? "Uncle, wait i still got some more coming!" - lol....

But look at the country now. I mean I only need to walk like a couple hundred of meters before I get a decent place to poop. I have an equal chance to be the person I want to be and get employed equally (though not always). I was watching a documentary about Singapore on the Discovery Channel and they showed the classic scene where MM Lee was all emotional when we separated from Malaysia. I really can imagine how he would have felt.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not sucking up to the country or how perfect it appears to be. I mean come on, I still have issues about that whole criminalizing gay sex thing. MM Lee also said that we are not a nation yet, and i totally agree.

It ain't perfect, but there is no where I would rather be this month than here in Singapore, singing to the old classics and walking around the neighbourhood as they display the NDP spirit. I'm no sucker for the country, but after all these years, I would say that National Day really is one day where we put aside our many many many many differences and celebrate together. Don't laugh at me for this post. Lol.

So come 9th August, as you recite the pledge and participate in the only Singaporean holiday, think about what it means to you, what it means to be Singaporean. It may be that at least you have a country to call home, or it may just be the simple fact that it's a public holiday for 2 days. Whatever it is, Monday NO SCHOOL !

~WE WILL STAND TOGETHER HEAR THE LION ROAR~

cheers.

Mitchell is a hot-guy name.

So I was scheduled to have training the other day, for the whole 'Poly 50' run. The trainings had started like 2 weeks ago but i never bothered to turn up lol. The day before the session the leader of the whole thing messaged me saying "You have either not been coming for training, have not replied any of my messages, or have not given me your Tshirt sizes, or all of the above. Are you still running? I would need to substitute you..."

So i guilted myself into running, since i had voluntarily signed up and all. Man did i make a smart move. This leader told me i was in group 3, and that my team leader's name was Mitchell. Mitchell? wow. sexy name already. :P

So when i headed down to the running track naturally i did not know who Mitchell was. I decided i'd call the number given to me. Ring once.... no one picked up. "No way man... imma spam this fella till he picks up," I told myself. Second ring. A masculant voice picked up the call and after like 5 seconds of talking my friend next to me nudged me. "Err... look there."

I turned and i saw this piece of hunky man meat (probably shouldn't describe him as a piece of meat but oh well) that was wearing tight sportswear. That singlet totally showed off his sculpted arms and those tight shorts could in no way mask his bonerific (LOL) behind. He had a totally hip hairstyle and perfect teeth too! Like OMG was this guy an absolute dream man or what? lol. And guess what? He spoke great English. @.@

What i'm trying to say is that he was totally hot. I may have gotten carried away with the last paragraph there, sorry lol. But it's not just him. I know like 3 people named Mitchell and they are all undoubtedly hot, like Matthew's friend from Shatec that goes to gym, or that Mitchell dude in secondary school (he was much hotter then, lol).

Why are all the Mitchells i know all irrestibly hot? I really don't know. After last friday's training i can safely conclude that Mitchell is indeed, a hot-guy name.

Next time you go online-dating look out for people named Mitchell, or at least, now you know what to name your kids. haha.

cheers.

Facebook Gave Me A Home

Never underestimate the power of the online world. That's right, read the title again. For months now i've been innocently facebooking, not knowing of the incredible reward it was to bring me.

My mom would always complain about me staying up late and using the computer. What was i doing? Facebook lah! I used to play this game called restaurant city lol. So yea. As innocent as it was, i got bored watching the moving pixelised characters doing the same thing over and over. I scrolled my mouse over to the ads at the site (I also happened to join a gay personal's network too this way hahaha). So i saw this advertisement for a housing agent. "3 room flats in Hougang, Toa Payoh, Serangoon ...."

For those of you who don't know, my family has been frantically looking for a house to stay in for the last 4 years? Yeah. I've been living out of boxes most of my teenhood. The agent my mom has been working with is unreliable and bottom line lazy. No results for 4 years of house hunting. So I clicked that ad and it diverted me to the agents personal website. I was shocked to see how many houses were available.

I emailed my mom the link and she called up the agent. Within no time we went for several viewings. And after like 2 days or so with the agent, my mom found a house she really liked and that was in her budget. Not too long later, we bought that 3 room flat in Hougang and we are expected to move in somewhere around August, and this time, it's FINAL! No more boxes and living like a refugee. I can finally call a place home. =)

Funny how all this came out of Facebook, the thing my mom hated to see me on at night. Yet night and facebook it was, that delivered this great gift to us that we finally have had years of prayer answered.

What can I say? Good things happen when you least expect and in the weirdest ways.

THANK YOU FACEBOOK !!!

Music That Made Me Cry

I don't know if it's because I'm tired, I dunno if it's because I don't feel too good. But whatever the reasons and combinations are, I was still brought to tears when I heard this magnificent piece of music. You probably will recognise it; it's called He's A Pirate.

I know this isn't the kinda music that makes people usually cry, but I'm feeling all fuzzy and I just started crying when I heard this.

Enjoy. Pirates Of The Caribbean, main theme. your heart starts echoing the beat of the music. it is unmistakably recognisable.