Was watching Terminator 3: Rise of The Machines just a moment ago. I shall quote the ending - "it never was our destiny to stop judgement day. It was our destiny to survive it."
after the movie I stared hard into the mirror and asked myself; what is destiny?
Destiny
: a predetermined course of events often held to be an irresistible power or agency
: something to which a person or thing is destined
so that's how the dictionary defines it. Sure, it seems logical. But definitions mean nothing unless we see it that way. For it is us that create definitions, who created words to these definitions. We do not live by our own creation.
and as such all of us are capable of shaping our own destinies, because we are not bound by definition. Society itself is not bound by definition. We ought to live in a place where we are free to explore our intellectual, physical and spiritual selves. Where knowledge is prized over materialism. A society of freedom, of equality, of knowledge and of empowerment. If you ask me, religion seems to restrict us of this notion that we are able to shape our own lives - but then again, who am I to talk about religion.
perhaps it is our destiny to challenge destiny, or to create it. Because if we can create what we call destiny, we can also choose not to create it. Does this make even destiny at our disposal? perhaps.
maybe the remarkable thing about being human is that we are capable of controlling our own fate. That it is not decided by any book, teaching, or law. Talk about empowerment.
Still, naivete and youth often go hand in hand. I am not even 20; at least not for the next few months.
And it begs to question again - what is destiny?
Monday, February 15, 2010
Sunday, January 31, 2010
it's all about the music
I didn't expect I'd be doing it, cuz I told myself I'd never club again. Still, the allure of a friend in need was too much for me to deny. Shopping for underwear was wierd enough between to gay guys, but when we went to a spa things just got plain scary. Lol. Still, i cant deny it was fun, and rather exciting to be in such a place.
When we eventually ended up clubbing I'd never have imagined my friend would ditch me to get laid - but yeah, that's how guys in this circle often are. It's a good thing I got introduced to more people, with whom I ended up spending the night. I forgot how fun clubbing was when you're not alone.
I was also pleasantly suprised when someone came up to me and told me "you're a very good dancer! you should get up on stage!" Well I did eventually, and boy there isn't a feeling comparable in this world to that when you're up on stage doing what you love. Rah-rah ra ah ah ah rummah rummah mah aah gaga oo la la - I didn't need booze to get me to the top of the world; the moment I heard that song, I already was.
As I took the bus back I asked myself why I was really out that night. Was it really for this friend, or did I know that I would end up hitting the clubs that I personally told myself not to go to? Though I presume I wouldn't be going again for some time, I remembered why I went in the first place, and what made me go as often as I did before;
It's all about the MUSIC.
When we eventually ended up clubbing I'd never have imagined my friend would ditch me to get laid - but yeah, that's how guys in this circle often are. It's a good thing I got introduced to more people, with whom I ended up spending the night. I forgot how fun clubbing was when you're not alone.
I was also pleasantly suprised when someone came up to me and told me "you're a very good dancer! you should get up on stage!" Well I did eventually, and boy there isn't a feeling comparable in this world to that when you're up on stage doing what you love. Rah-rah ra ah ah ah rummah rummah mah aah gaga oo la la - I didn't need booze to get me to the top of the world; the moment I heard that song, I already was.
As I took the bus back I asked myself why I was really out that night. Was it really for this friend, or did I know that I would end up hitting the clubs that I personally told myself not to go to? Though I presume I wouldn't be going again for some time, I remembered why I went in the first place, and what made me go as often as I did before;
It's all about the MUSIC.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
life's constant change.
i know it's something we all dread - to have a part of your life taken away and then completely realtered. You and i know we only fear it because we don't know what's going to happen; and uncertainty is the only thing keeping us from being brave.
my mom told me that being greedy was not going to help me. it's too bad i never fully comprehended that advice, because she was right. When i was greedy to the world, the world was greedy to me as well; it took more from me than i wanted to take from it.
yet the most predictable thing about life is it's unpredictability - how it always changes and moves on, whether you like it or are ready for it or not.
so yet again i've reached a revelation in my life where i'm gonna let this change in my life happen, and just go with the flow of life. afterall, it has never failed me before.
taking a leap into the unknown is well ... scary. but i know i can summon up the courage to do what i need to. :)
aj.
my mom told me that being greedy was not going to help me. it's too bad i never fully comprehended that advice, because she was right. When i was greedy to the world, the world was greedy to me as well; it took more from me than i wanted to take from it.
yet the most predictable thing about life is it's unpredictability - how it always changes and moves on, whether you like it or are ready for it or not.
so yet again i've reached a revelation in my life where i'm gonna let this change in my life happen, and just go with the flow of life. afterall, it has never failed me before.
taking a leap into the unknown is well ... scary. but i know i can summon up the courage to do what i need to. :)
aj.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
The Entertainer
ALL HAIL ADAM LAMBERT!!! hahaha.
Adam Lambert (who is undoubtedly my single most favourite male artist in the world) stole the night during the AMAs (American Music Awards) with his sexy and daring performance of his new single For Your Entertainment (click for a song link :D)
yet, some people ask; Did the gay American Idol runner-up go too far?
In his performance, he grabs crotches, pulls girls across the floor, and kisses a guy. Too much for primetime TV? perhaps. But if Adam were not gay, and he kissed a girl, or grabbed her crotch, no one would've made a big deal. When Madonna and Britney made out it wasn't as big a deal as this one. One guy actually said "no one gets turned on seeing 2 guys kissing on national TV, its actually a turn off." - well hello, would he say that if he saw 2 girls kissing? haha.
when asked if he was going to apologise for his performance that got him banned from Good Morning America, he simply said "no. i'm an entertainer." hats off to him baby.
that aside, Adam's performance was a great one. He could've had better choreography but it was already very suited to the beats, the rhythm and the mood of the song. Vocally Adam is still as powerful as ever, though it doesn't show as much as it does in some of the performances in Americal Idol. I have absolutely nothing to say about his clothes because my jaw dropped in marvel at how HOTTTT he looked. the spike on the left shoulder, the thick guy-liner. omg!
all in all, a 4 star performance for a 5 star song! :D
entertain us he did, with that powerful and lol, raunchy performance. take a look for yourself and create your own opinions. don't let society create them for ya. :)
Adam Lambert (who is undoubtedly my single most favourite male artist in the world) stole the night during the AMAs (American Music Awards) with his sexy and daring performance of his new single For Your Entertainment (click for a song link :D)
yet, some people ask; Did the gay American Idol runner-up go too far?
In his performance, he grabs crotches, pulls girls across the floor, and kisses a guy. Too much for primetime TV? perhaps. But if Adam were not gay, and he kissed a girl, or grabbed her crotch, no one would've made a big deal. When Madonna and Britney made out it wasn't as big a deal as this one. One guy actually said "no one gets turned on seeing 2 guys kissing on national TV, its actually a turn off." - well hello, would he say that if he saw 2 girls kissing? haha.
when asked if he was going to apologise for his performance that got him banned from Good Morning America, he simply said "no. i'm an entertainer." hats off to him baby.
that aside, Adam's performance was a great one. He could've had better choreography but it was already very suited to the beats, the rhythm and the mood of the song. Vocally Adam is still as powerful as ever, though it doesn't show as much as it does in some of the performances in Americal Idol. I have absolutely nothing to say about his clothes because my jaw dropped in marvel at how HOTTTT he looked. the spike on the left shoulder, the thick guy-liner. omg!
all in all, a 4 star performance for a 5 star song! :D
entertain us he did, with that powerful and lol, raunchy performance. take a look for yourself and create your own opinions. don't let society create them for ya. :)
standing at a crossroads.
dear blog, i'm stuck with a little dillemna right now. i know it doesn't always happen to me cuz i know what i want, but this time round, i have to pick between 2 very important priorities in life; work, and school...
you see, in order to be able to pay off my 2.5k debts, i have to work at least 29 hours in a week (that's 5 days of work at night) and earn enough to support me throughout the month, as well as slowly pay off these debts. I've been struggling and dragging all these payments for too long already. I ought to just finish them now.
I know i'm only 19 and my focus should not be on working, but i did what i did i.e. made mistakes that cost me bigtime, and now i have to be mature and resolve my mistakes.
the only problem is that, with more time spent at work, i have lesser time to spend on schoolwork. this leads to a catastrophic chain of downward spiraling grades etc etc.... well you know.
so right now i have to choose; do i want to settle my debts sooner, or should i just quit/work less to be able to get my schoolwork done?
what should i do? i know the right thing would be to focus on education blah blah blah. we all know how that goes. but put yourself in my shoes for a sec - having to budget yourself to only 1.30 cents a day and not eating as much as possible to save money each day. its tough. your body doesnt become very healthy either.
lol. im really confused. i kinda feel like quitting my job (which is what i kinda wanna do) but if i do, what's am i gonna do about the money i owe people? hahaha.
well i guess everything happens for a reason. i just have to trust that things will fall into place.
dear blog, wish me luck. lol
you see, in order to be able to pay off my 2.5k debts, i have to work at least 29 hours in a week (that's 5 days of work at night) and earn enough to support me throughout the month, as well as slowly pay off these debts. I've been struggling and dragging all these payments for too long already. I ought to just finish them now.
I know i'm only 19 and my focus should not be on working, but i did what i did i.e. made mistakes that cost me bigtime, and now i have to be mature and resolve my mistakes.
the only problem is that, with more time spent at work, i have lesser time to spend on schoolwork. this leads to a catastrophic chain of downward spiraling grades etc etc.... well you know.
so right now i have to choose; do i want to settle my debts sooner, or should i just quit/work less to be able to get my schoolwork done?
what should i do? i know the right thing would be to focus on education blah blah blah. we all know how that goes. but put yourself in my shoes for a sec - having to budget yourself to only 1.30 cents a day and not eating as much as possible to save money each day. its tough. your body doesnt become very healthy either.
lol. im really confused. i kinda feel like quitting my job (which is what i kinda wanna do) but if i do, what's am i gonna do about the money i owe people? hahaha.
well i guess everything happens for a reason. i just have to trust that things will fall into place.
dear blog, wish me luck. lol
Saturday, November 28, 2009
a new phone and a new discovery!
I didn't expect i'd be going, neither did i expect to get anything from it; but yes, today i went to the IT fair at Singapore Expo. It was ridisculously crowded with people succumbing to their primitive insticts of being vultures and hyenas when they see good bargains and/or cheap prices - especially Singaporeans.
To be honest, i thought i'd be seeing a room full of nerds/geeks and nerds/geeks alone. To some extent i was right, because even the sales personel looked like they spent their whole lives facing the computer screen and not the mirror. lol.
I was wrong however, because amongst the crowd i saw many lookers, some in tank tops, some in tight fitting clothes, some real cuties and some drop dead gorgeous people. Heck, there were even people cruising in the toilet!
And it made me realize something - that my stereotypes of events like these is indeed and absolutely not true. Just because i picture tech-savvy people to be wide-framed-bescpectabled, pimple-flooded, and bad-oral hygiene people; doesn't make it true. It just made me rethink my stereotypes of the industry.
And come on, lets face it. In this century, our lives cannot exist without the IT people. In many ways it made me appreciate the people that go into making our lives more convenient and borderless.
Our shopping list for the day - A lenovo laptop for Huckle, an iPod nano for my mommy, and a 5 mega-pixel LG phone for me. I know what you're thinking - "omg, LG phone? SUCKS LOR!"
but alas, the only reason i need a phone is to be able to call, sms, maybe surf the net and most importantly, to take good shots. And this phone seems to do it well. plus, it's PINK! .......... ish. Lol.
Although I had to depart with the phone that has been serving me very well for the past 10 months or so, i had something to gain in the end. All things DO workout afterall. At least now I dont have an excuse NOT TO take pics and flood this blog with em. haha
and in conclusion, i'm glad that i am in a stage of my life where i am seeing past literally almost every stereotype i have and learn to execpt the fact that all of us are human beings, unique and special in ways we ourselves cannot contemplate. Not just in the IT industry, but in every situation, and in every case. Labelling people does not help you understand or "categorise" them.
perhaps its about time you moved on from your stereotypes too?
cheers, aj
To be honest, i thought i'd be seeing a room full of nerds/geeks and nerds/geeks alone. To some extent i was right, because even the sales personel looked like they spent their whole lives facing the computer screen and not the mirror. lol.
I was wrong however, because amongst the crowd i saw many lookers, some in tank tops, some in tight fitting clothes, some real cuties and some drop dead gorgeous people. Heck, there were even people cruising in the toilet!
And it made me realize something - that my stereotypes of events like these is indeed and absolutely not true. Just because i picture tech-savvy people to be wide-framed-bescpectabled, pimple-flooded, and bad-oral hygiene people; doesn't make it true. It just made me rethink my stereotypes of the industry.
And come on, lets face it. In this century, our lives cannot exist without the IT people. In many ways it made me appreciate the people that go into making our lives more convenient and borderless.
Our shopping list for the day - A lenovo laptop for Huckle, an iPod nano for my mommy, and a 5 mega-pixel LG phone for me. I know what you're thinking - "omg, LG phone? SUCKS LOR!"
but alas, the only reason i need a phone is to be able to call, sms, maybe surf the net and most importantly, to take good shots. And this phone seems to do it well. plus, it's PINK! .......... ish. Lol.
Although I had to depart with the phone that has been serving me very well for the past 10 months or so, i had something to gain in the end. All things DO workout afterall. At least now I dont have an excuse NOT TO take pics and flood this blog with em. haha
and in conclusion, i'm glad that i am in a stage of my life where i am seeing past literally almost every stereotype i have and learn to execpt the fact that all of us are human beings, unique and special in ways we ourselves cannot contemplate. Not just in the IT industry, but in every situation, and in every case. Labelling people does not help you understand or "categorise" them.
perhaps its about time you moved on from your stereotypes too?
cheers, aj
Friday, November 13, 2009
goodbye social life!
as much as i love the way i live my social life, what with all the ppl i meet and stuff i do, sometimes life just does not allow you to have everything go your way. Simply put, circumstances in our lives force us to make decisions - decisions based on importance. Inevitably I must chose what's right and be mature about what decision i make. It's about time anyway.
unfortunately, i never took this job to spend on myself. i work to satisfy others and clear my name, if you know what i mean. haha. so for the next 6 months or so, i'll have to say goodbye to my social life to make more time for work/school and save the cash from the vigorous spenditure of my socialising. haha
still hope i can get that guitar next month though! I mean i gotta keep something for myself too right? lol
sorry buddies, i wont be able to hang as much for a while... :(
yea.
unfortunately, i never took this job to spend on myself. i work to satisfy others and clear my name, if you know what i mean. haha. so for the next 6 months or so, i'll have to say goodbye to my social life to make more time for work/school and save the cash from the vigorous spenditure of my socialising. haha
still hope i can get that guitar next month though! I mean i gotta keep something for myself too right? lol
sorry buddies, i wont be able to hang as much for a while... :(
yea.
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