Decisions VS Circumstances (Warning, long post!)

P.S. This post is dedicated to my buddies who have hard lives. MAKE A DECISION TODAY.

I slogged my body along the dark pathways next to the roads, as i silently contemplated my feelings. Being a musician, i am very prone to being emotional at the little things that happen. The hunger in my stomach is a harsh reminder of the circumstances i face. Hunger does many things to a man - it makes him angry, it makes him sad, it makes him grouchy, it makes him mad. Bottom line he just gets EMO okay?

yeah so i starve on a regular basis. Story of my life. Once i even saw a piece of fish that someone had left on the floor. It was half eaten but i actually asked myself if i wanted to pick it up and eat it! The next moment i was like "EWW! DUDE ARE YOU CRAZY!?" - lol. So what do i do? Just sit back and complain about life? Lemme share with you a story i heard.

In a senior journalism class the students were tasked with an assignment - to go interview someone big and famous. Many said they'd do celebrities, others rich people. But this journalist thought all that was too common. He thought he'd interview someone on the verge of dying.

So he finally decided on interviewing someone of death row. He went over to the prison and asked to interview one of the prisoners. The prison warden guided the journalist to a dark cell where this prisoner sat handcuffed. The journalist walked in.

"So what did you do to get the death sentence?" - the journalist asked.
"Oh i did lots of things! I've raped girls, done drugs, you know.." - the prisoner was so full of himself as he said it.
"You don't feel any remorse?"
"No."

Now the journalist got a little frustrated with the prisoner at this point. He then said. "I don't get it. You spent your whole life doing things that put you in prison. Don't you know what you could have achieved in your life? You spent all those wasted years and feel no remorse?"
The prisoner got defensive and said "I have no other choice! My family is like that! My dad's a drug dealer and my mom's a prostitute!"

The journalist decided to end the interview there and walked out of the cell. He asked the warden if anyone had come to visit the prisoner. No one did. So he asked if he had any relatives he could talk to. The warden gave him the address and number of the prisoner's brother.

So the journalist flew over to the state and stood in front of the building where the address was. It was a tall bank. "Hmm.. his brother must be a cleaner here." - He thought. He walked in and approached the security counter. "Excuse me.. i have an appointment with this person."
The guard stared at the man and asked, "Are you sure you've got an appointment with him?"

"yes of course, i'm sure."

The guard went over and made a phone call. He came back and was suddenly very polite to the journalist. "Right this way sir. He is waiting for you."

They entered the lift and the journalist noticed the building was 70 floors high. When he past the 20th floor the journalist was thinking "wow, he's working as a staff in this company..."

but then they past the 50th floor. "Wow, he must be some senior ranked staff here..."

when they reached the 70th floor, the journalist was shocked. "70th floor???" He walked out expecting to see the president of the bank. And right he was. There, sitting in his posh office, was the president of the bank, and he looked exactly like the man in the prison cell! Totally shocked, he exclaimed "You like the man i interviewed in the prison cell!"

"Haha... of course! We're twin brothers afterall. How's my brother? I heard he's being sentenced?"

"But... your brother is in the prison cell and you are here as the head of a bank?" the journalist asked, though the reply that came made the journalist speechless.

"I have no other choice! My dad's a drug dealer and my mom's a prostitute!"

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in the end its all about choices, not the circumstances you are in. what i want to bring across is that its about your DECISION not your CIRCUMSTANCES.

Now as we foster in the new year, just remember not to let your circumstances stop you from making good decisions. Make a decision to be the change you want to see in your life.

Happy 2009 to ya!~

4 Minutes

I saw the vid on MTV and i was like "omg..." - because Justin Timberlake is HAWT !!!
Watch full screen to maximise his HAWT-ness. Turn up your sub woofers and watch JT dance baby! Unless of course, you'd rather watch Madonna dance, then at least its still a reason to watch full screen :D

If you think Timbaland is hot then i've got nothing to say...... -.-

Christmas Blues

So the clock struck twelve and my phone started to vibrate vigorously with all the flooding smses - all of which saying "MERRY CHRISTMAS" in different ways.

Due to the fact that i was holding 2 plates of barbequed chicken and bee hoon in my hands, i didn't reply. so after taking my own sweet time to finish the food, i finally got around to going through those messages. Then i realized i ought to reply them.

I typed a simple message that said "Merry Christmas!" and pressed send; but to who? - i asked myself. Of course i replied those that send smses to me, but i told myself i'd pick some of my closest friends.

so i scrolled through my phone's contacts. There was kim yong, marr, matthew, eraidie, joey etc etc. Funny thing is i started to recall all the memories i shared with them.

It was early christmas morn and there i was daydreaming of all the fun times i had with these people. I realized how much i miss them.

Christmas in a way also symbolizes the end of the year - a great year indeed for me. But as the present slowly fades into the archives of my memories and the new year dawns itself, i wonder how my friendships will turn out. Already i've lost friends because of my job. Those that still hold me as a friend are what we call 'true friends'.

I want to take this chance to say thank you to all those of you who i consider my closest buds (you know who you are). It has been great being with all of you guys and sometimes friendships can be so strong that they last lifetimes. Cheers to you!

Looking forward to a great year ahead.

quiz. (yet again)

1.The person who tagged you is?
Nelson

2.Your relationship with him/her?
Good Friend

3.Your 5 impressions of him/her.
1)Adorable
2)Funny
3)Takes cute pics of himself
4)Would be really HAWT if he lost a lil more weight =D
5)Great taste in music

4.The most memorable thing he/she had done for you.
help me find the courage to talk to someone i like.

5.The most memorable thing they had said to u?
"come on aj, you can do it!"

7.If he/she becomes your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be?
have a little more hope in the future, oh and lose a lil bit more weight! lol.

8.If he/she become your enemy, you will?
scream and run just in case he squishes me.

9. (Repeat Question)

10.What is it you want to tell her now?
HIM you mean. erm, "are u working this holiday?" - lol.

11.Your overall impression of her is?
adorable. LOL

12.How do u think ppl around you will feel about you?
super shocked and homophobic once they find out. LOL

13.The characters you love of yourself are?
I'm always fighting the odds no matter how long or how much it takes out of me. =D

14.On the contrary,the characters you hate yourself are?
I am naive and stupid sometimes.

15.The most ideal person you want to be is?
Me, myself and I.

16.For people that care and like you, say something to them.
Thanks for all your support, i know i couldn't achieve what i want without u guys. sometimes its all that keeps me fighting!

17.Pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you
1: Kim Yong
2: matt
3: Marr
4: Joey
5: Shaman
6: Amos
7: Fauziah
8: Yana
9: Grace
10: erm, Yvonne?

18. Who is no. 6 having relationship with?
himself.

19. Is no. 9 a male or female?
female

20. If no. 7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
erm, kinda odd, but heck why not?

21. What is no. 2 studying about?
cooking and how to make his plate look super nice. lol

22. When was the last time you had a chat with no. 3?
5 hours ago.


23. What kind of music band does no. 8 like?
i dunno, korean/jap pop maybe?


24. Does no. 1 have any siblings?
Haha. He sure wishes he does!


25. Will you woo no. 3?
no way, she's a girl!

26. How about 7?
same goes for this question.


27. Is no. 4 single?
i sure wish he was!

28. What is the surname of no. 5?
aiyo. i dunno leh.


29. What is a hobby of no. 10?
drawing? God knows man


30. Does no. 5 and 9 get along well?
they dont know each other.

31. Where is no. 2 studying at?
Shatec.


32. Talk about something for no. 1.
the oldest, and probably most ridiculus friend i have. Love spending time with him and pouring out to him though. "we're good buddies. no secrets between us."

33. Have you tried developing feelings for no. 8?
i dont try to develop feelings, they just come. sides, i wouldn't even want to; she belongs to someone!

34. Where does no. 9 live?
TPY, i think.

35. What colour does no. 4 like?
black?


36.Are no. 1 and 5 best friends?
LOL. no way.

37. Does no. 1 have any pets?
hamsters i think.


38. Is no. 7 the sexiest person in the world?
nope, but no 4 and 5 are! lol.

39.What is no. 10 doing now?
haven't seen her in a long time. dont know.

Best Friends

I spent the whole day out with a friend on Friday. It was halloween and I wouldn't have wanted to spend it with anyone else. I met her at 10 in the morn and i reached home at 11 that night. Talk about a long day!

The thing that made me think was that i realized i liked spending time with her; she's like a sister i never had. We share stuff in common, like how we both have hard love lives, and how we both LOVE to stare at cute guys - lol.

Still, sometimes i ask myself if i would dare call her my best friend - all the last ones i called best friends ended in disaster. Those of you who remember things with me and Whye Chiz, and Harold does not speak to me no more neither.

Giving a friend a label like my best friend is not good if u ask me - it makes them think they play a special role in our lives and as is human nature, they take it for granted. Its happened all too often before and I am not gonna let it happen anymore. I don't think i can call anyone my best friend, at least not at the present time anyways. It might be cruel, but i like to keep my good friends hanging on my friendship rather than making them feel secure with me that they would take it for granted. (Sorry guys, >.<)

Maybe this case only applies to my life; perhaps millions have succeeded with calling each other best friends, i dunno. So it just leaves me to ask; do any of you have real best friends? If so please do tell me! Make me convinced and believe in 'best-friendships'.

Thanks marr for the time and the fish; u cook awesome! =)

Childhood

I rest my rear on the sun-baked ground of the scorching plateau. Staring out into the horizon, I see the invaders marching off in a slow, downcast stroll, as their heads hung low from the defeat they had just received. The heat of the sun intensifies as i slowly squint my eyes until they are completely closed. I let my physical feelings and thoughts overpower me. Soon, my idle mind begins to drift, into the vast spaces of my memories.

My belly was exposed to the sun as i hung all four of my paws in the air. Dehydration made my tongue languorously hang out; I took short breaths to keep my heart going. Being born into the pride meant that i was the luckiest of all cubs; I had always had a silver spoon in my mouth. In moments, mom came up to me, dragging a juicy piece of baby gazelle meat and dropped it onto the ground next to me. Such were my living conditions that I even got to choose which parts i wanted to eat, and left the scraps for the hyenas. And when i was done, I quenched my thirst from the watering hole just meters away. Mom told me I was born to be a king so I feared no predators.

However, as I was munching down into my share of the tender meat, Little Sis' joined me. "There goes my food", i thought as she sprinted towards my lunch. She was my only real competition when it came to food. When the other memebers of the pride tried to take my food, mom would come to the rescue and save my meal. As a cub, I did not understand these complex things, why my mom needed to protect me, why other animals ran away from us, and why the other males were fighting with other strange males. When an epic battle took place, Dad would use me to distract the invaders because of my speed. I was really plaing catching rather than running for my life. Like mom said, I was born to be a king, so why would I be afraid?

Yes, why would should I be afraid? So I walked wherever I wanted to - and on that day it was beyond the territory of the pride. The savannah seemed to completely change; it suddenly seemed darker, and every animal would successfully scare me off, especially those colosal elephants, that towered two million feet above my little body. Little Sis tagged along and we soon found ourselves hiding under a fallen tree branch. And then, out of a corner, came one of those invaders. He had not noticed us, though we did.

He was a furtive animal with a face that bore the scars of many battles. Those were attractive features on a male lion, so much so that my sister was absolutely infatuated with him. What a better time to exercise my "kingly" authority than to go and talk to him now! I conceitedly matched towards him, for upon noticing me, he pounced upon me and almost crushed me with his body weight. Little Sis' came out screaming and begged him to release me. No such luck. He opened his jaws to expose his huge canine teeth and I braced myself for what would be my first feeling of real agony.

A thunderous roar echoed down the savannah and the mae released his grip on me, petrified by the roar. I managed to slip away, when I saw where the roar came from. It was Dad. He stood up tall with his back arched and his mane revealing his power. Now that was the majesty of the king! He leaped in front of me to shield me and gave me a powerful swipe at the other male. One more scar to add to the collection on his face! It was thus taht i realized how naive I was. It was life and death out here and it was no child's play. Dad was appalled at out mischief and we got what was coming our way - harsh punishment.

Evidently, it was the innocene of children that made me do those things, an innocence that has long since left me. Now, on the sun-baked ground of the scorcing plateau, I sit as the head of my pride, as the king of the savannah, in all the majesty and glory of a lion. I sit and guard here to make sure other cubs have the silver-spoon fed, gazelle-lunch childhood I had, so that from that childhood, they would rise up to be where I am today. My mind came back to the present moment as I slowly opened my eyes. A small grin came across my face as I saw two curious cubs venturing beyond my domain. I got up and walked in their direction, knowing what they would get themselves into. What a childhood they will have too!

Family

The arctic blizzard blew hard against the ever-enduring male. Ice and snow kept beating his back yet he would not succumb to the climate. All his life, he had been waiting for this event; it was the only purpose of his mortal existence. The frail two-week-old egg rested on his feet and he protected it from the elements using his belly fat. The blubber he had kept it warm. With his body temperature dropping rapidly, he huddled up with the rest of the males; it was the only way he could keep warm. The egg was growing fast within the grasp of his feet, all he needed to do now was to wait.

In a diverse and magnificent kingdom, not many would stick together and mate for life. Yet, his species did it. In such an environment, it was the only way to ensure survival of the species. Because that was what life was created for - to ensure the continuation of its kind in reproduction.

Parenting an unborn chick was not easy, especially since his mate was away hunting for two months and the chick would hatch soon. When it does break through its frail casing to peer out into the 'white world', only he could feed it, with whatever food was left to regurgitate.

A month had passed since the bundle of joy had been passed onto him, and now his effort was duly rewarded as the tiny beak burst forth through the shell and looked up at daddy's face. One could even say he teared when he say his baby. However, his troubles had not ended, not yet. The female mother had not yet returned and it was all up to him to feed the chick. As he summoned up all his might to bring back up the food from his stomach, he worried there would not be enough for the chick to survive. Already, the other males had succumbed to the arctic hunger and abandoned their chicks so they could feed themselves. A mere thirthy seconds was all it took for the chick to die if it were left exposed to the cold. But he was stronger than that. He was not going to let his baby die. He mustered all his remaining strength and tucked the chick under his belly. He was just all too lucky that there were no predators other than the arctic ice. He was not in any way strong enough to fend off anything else.

For two months now, male and female had been separated and their hearts yearned for each other. Both of them set on a single conquest - to raise the precious baby they had. Back in the waters, the female did not know her baby had hatched, but she suspected it. She knew she had to get back quick, or her partner would surely perish. The greedy leopard seal sat on the ice and waited, never failing to seize an opportunity for a meal. She however, did not care. She had to get back, never mind the danger to herself. In perfect synchronization, the females lunged themselves into the air, onto the ice and quickly scrambled across it to safety. Some had not made it; they fell prey to the seal. But that is just how it is - the circle of life.

She scrambled back inward to the ice where her partner was. Full of energy she had gathered from the fish in her stomach, she screamed out across the ice, calling to her partner. At last, after two long months, the male heard her triumphant call. Using what was left of him, he called back and soon they were re-united. He cuddled her using his beak and introduced her to their chick. The reunion did not last long though, the male was too weak from starvation to rejoice just yet. He passed the chick to the female, being careful not to touch the ice, and joining the other males, waddled back to the waters.

The process of "sharing the responsibility" is carried out many times, till the chick is old enough to learn to hunt for itself. Then the family would migrate back to the warm seas. It is a long and arduous task, yet why do Emperor Penguins still do it? That is what they were created to do. One could say it was a command from God even; "And God said, go forth and multiply". The penguins know the value of life because each day they put it on the line. It is survival. Yet they choose to do it together - male, female and chick - because they are one. They are family.