Livin' The Dream

The Truth About Eggs

2010-06-06T17:48:00.001+08:00

With my soon to be high-intensity involvement with health & fitness, i was reading up on dietary suggestions. Of which, eggs are commonplace when one tries to build muscle.

But aren't eggs full of cholesterol and isn't it bad for your health to eat too much eggs?

So i did some research and i discovered that is not the case!

1.It so happens that eggs contain mostly polyunsaturated fat, which can actually lower blood cholesterol if one replaces food containing saturated fat with eggs.

2. Egg whites contain the purest form of protein found in whole-foods. It is so high that nutritionists use them as the standard when comparing other whole-food proteins.

3. One egg in 10,000 is contaminated with salmonella, so you should never eat undercooked eggs, make eggnog on your own or mimic Rocky by swallowing them raw. (lol, Rocky :P)

So now that that's out of the way, let's get cracking at them eggs!

Read the full article: The Truth About Eggs

Destiny?

2010-02-15T15:13:00.002+08:00

Was watching Terminator 3: Rise of The Machines just a moment ago. I shall quote the ending - "it never was our destiny to stop judgement day. It was our destiny to survive it."

after the movie I stared hard into the mirror and asked myself; what is destiny?

Destiny
: a predetermined course of events often held to be an irresistible power or agency
: something to which a person or thing is destined

so that's how the dictionary defines it. Sure, it seems logical. But definitions mean nothing unless we see it that way. For it is us that create definitions, who created words to these definitions. We do not live by our own creation.

and as such all of us are capable of shaping our own destinies, because we are not bound by definition. Society itself is not bound by definition. We ought to live in a place where we are free to explore our intellectual, physical and spiritual selves. Where knowledge is prized over materialism. A society of freedom, of equality, of knowledge and of empowerment. If you ask me, religion seems to restrict us of this notion that we are able to shape our own lives - but then again, who am I to talk about religion.

perhaps it is our destiny to challenge destiny, or to create it. Because if we can create what we call destiny, we can also choose not to create it. Does this make even destiny at our disposal? perhaps.

maybe the remarkable thing about being human is that we are capable of controlling our own fate. That it is not decided by any book, teaching, or law. Talk about empowerment.

Still, naivete and youth often go hand in hand. I am not even 20; at least not for the next few months.

And it begs to question again - what is destiny?

it's all about the music

2010-01-31T20:06:00.004+08:00

I didn't expect I'd be doing it, cuz I told myself I'd never club again. Still, the allure of a friend in need was too much for me to deny. Shopping for underwear was wierd enough between to gay guys, but when we went to a spa things just got plain scary. Lol. Still, i cant deny it was fun, and rather exciting to be in such a place.

When we eventually ended up clubbing I'd never have imagined my friend would ditch me to get laid - but yeah, that's how guys in this circle often are. It's a good thing I got introduced to more people, with whom I ended up spending the night. I forgot how fun clubbing was when you're not alone.

I was also pleasantly suprised when someone came up to me and told me "you're a very good dancer! you should get up on stage!" Well I did eventually, and boy there isn't a feeling comparable in this world to that when you're up on stage doing what you love. Rah-rah ra ah ah ah rummah rummah mah aah gaga oo la la - I didn't need booze to get me to the top of the world; the moment I heard that song, I already was.

As I took the bus back I asked myself why I was really out that night. Was it really for this friend, or did I know that I would end up hitting the clubs that I personally told myself not to go to? Though I presume I wouldn't be going again for some time, I remembered why I went in the first place, and what made me go as often as I did before;

It's all about the MUSIC.

life's constant change.

2009-12-05T14:25:00.002+08:00

i know it's something we all dread - to have a part of your life taken away and then completely realtered. You and i know we only fear it because we don't know what's going to happen; and uncertainty is the only thing keeping us from being brave.

my mom told me that being greedy was not going to help me. it's too bad i never fully comprehended that advice, because she was right. When i was greedy to the world, the world was greedy to me as well; it took more from me than i wanted to take from it.

yet the most predictable thing about life is it's unpredictability - how it always changes and moves on, whether you like it or are ready for it or not.

so yet again i've reached a revelation in my life where i'm gonna let this change in my life happen, and just go with the flow of life. afterall, it has never failed me before.

taking a leap into the unknown is well ... scary. but i know i can summon up the courage to do what i need to. :)

aj.

The Entertainer

2009-11-29T03:06:00.004+08:00

ALL HAIL ADAM LAMBERT!!! hahaha.

Adam Lambert (who is undoubtedly my single most favourite male artist in the world) stole the night during the AMAs (American Music Awards) with his sexy and daring performance of his new single For Your Entertainment (click for a song link :D)

yet, some people ask; Did the gay American Idol runner-up go too far?

In his performance, he grabs crotches, pulls girls across the floor, and kisses a guy. Too much for primetime TV? perhaps. But if Adam were not gay, and he kissed a girl, or grabbed her crotch, no one would've made a big deal. When Madonna and Britney made out it wasn't as big a deal as this one. One guy actually said "no one gets turned on seeing 2 guys kissing on national TV, its actually a turn off." - well hello, would he say that if he saw 2 girls kissing? haha.

when asked if he was going to apologise for his performance that got him banned from Good Morning America, he simply said "no. i'm an entertainer." hats off to him baby.

that aside, Adam's performance was a great one. He could've had better choreography but it was already very suited to the beats, the rhythm and the mood of the song. Vocally Adam is still as powerful as ever, though it doesn't show as much as it does in some of the performances in Americal Idol. I have absolutely nothing to say about his clothes because my jaw dropped in marvel at how HOTTTT he looked. the spike on the left shoulder, the thick guy-liner. omg!
all in all, a 4 star performance for a 5 star song! :D

entertain us he did, with that powerful and lol, raunchy performance. take a look for yourself and create your own opinions. don't let society create them for ya. :)

standing at a crossroads.

2009-11-29T02:40:00.005+08:00

dear blog, i'm stuck with a little dillemna right now. i know it doesn't always happen to me cuz i know what i want, but this time round, i have to pick between 2 very important priorities in life; work, and school...

you see, in order to be able to pay off my 2.5k debts, i have to work at least 29 hours in a week (that's 5 days of work at night) and earn enough to support me throughout the month, as well as slowly pay off these debts. I've been struggling and dragging all these payments for too long already. I ought to just finish them now.

I know i'm only 19 and my focus should not be on working, but i did what i did i.e. made mistakes that cost me bigtime, and now i have to be mature and resolve my mistakes.

the only problem is that, with more time spent at work, i have lesser time to spend on schoolwork. this leads to a catastrophic chain of downward spiraling grades etc etc.... well you know.

so right now i have to choose; do i want to settle my debts sooner, or should i just quit/work less to be able to get my schoolwork done?

what should i do? i know the right thing would be to focus on education blah blah blah. we all know how that goes. but put yourself in my shoes for a sec - having to budget yourself to only 1.30 cents a day and not eating as much as possible to save money each day. its tough. your body doesnt become very healthy either.

lol. im really confused. i kinda feel like quitting my job (which is what i kinda wanna do) but if i do, what's am i gonna do about the money i owe people? hahaha.

well i guess everything happens for a reason. i just have to trust that things will fall into place.

dear blog, wish me luck. lol

a new phone and a new discovery!

2009-11-28T03:02:00.002+08:00

I didn't expect i'd be going, neither did i expect to get anything from it; but yes, today i went to the IT fair at Singapore Expo. It was ridisculously crowded with people succumbing to their primitive insticts of being vultures and hyenas when they see good bargains and/or cheap prices - especially Singaporeans.

To be honest, i thought i'd be seeing a room full of nerds/geeks and nerds/geeks alone. To some extent i was right, because even the sales personel looked like they spent their whole lives facing the computer screen and not the mirror. lol.

I was wrong however, because amongst the crowd i saw many lookers, some in tank tops, some in tight fitting clothes, some real cuties and some drop dead gorgeous people. Heck, there were even people cruising in the toilet!

And it made me realize something - that my stereotypes of events like these is indeed and absolutely not true. Just because i picture tech-savvy people to be wide-framed-bescpectabled, pimple-flooded, and bad-oral hygiene people; doesn't make it true. It just made me rethink my stereotypes of the industry.

And come on, lets face it. In this century, our lives cannot exist without the IT people. In many ways it made me appreciate the people that go into making our lives more convenient and borderless.

Our shopping list for the day - A lenovo laptop for Huckle, an iPod nano for my mommy, and a 5 mega-pixel LG phone for me. I know what you're thinking - "omg, LG phone? SUCKS LOR!"
but alas, the only reason i need a phone is to be able to call, sms, maybe surf the net and most importantly, to take good shots. And this phone seems to do it well. plus, it's PINK! .......... ish. Lol.

Although I had to depart with the phone that has been serving me very well for the past 10 months or so, i had something to gain in the end. All things DO workout afterall. At least now I dont have an excuse NOT TO take pics and flood this blog with em. haha

and in conclusion, i'm glad that i am in a stage of my life where i am seeing past literally almost every stereotype i have and learn to execpt the fact that all of us are human beings, unique and special in ways we ourselves cannot contemplate. Not just in the IT industry, but in every situation, and in every case. Labelling people does not help you understand or "categorise" them.

perhaps its about time you moved on from your stereotypes too?

cheers, aj

goodbye social life!

2009-11-13T05:07:00.000+08:00

as much as i love the way i live my social life, what with all the ppl i meet and stuff i do, sometimes life just does not allow you to have everything go your way. Simply put, circumstances in our lives force us to make decisions - decisions based on importance. Inevitably I must chose what's right and be mature about what decision i make. It's about time anyway.

unfortunately, i never took this job to spend on myself. i work to satisfy others and clear my name, if you know what i mean. haha. so for the next 6 months or so, i'll have to say goodbye to my social life to make more time for work/school and save the cash from the vigorous spenditure of my socialising. haha

still hope i can get that guitar next month though! I mean i gotta keep something for myself too right? lol

sorry buddies, i wont be able to hang as much for a while... :(

yea.

Equality Before Equal Rights.

2009-11-10T20:19:00.002+08:00

The other day I was thinking. I asked myself why until now I got no bf - i came up with a million reasons but that's not the point.

There is so much fuss these days, about equal rights in the homosexual community. In Singapore though, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal, although us GAY people are starting to step out into society more and more openly.

I once questioned if one of my life's purpose is to fight for equality FOR the gay people in this country. Why though, would I want to do that? Is it cuz of the fame? the chance to live MY life freely? the attention I could create? Or just because I feel strongly about it?

Then i remembered fighting for LGBT rights is fighting FOR the LGBT people. And its here that i hit my wall. "Why seh, should i fight for them?" - i asked myself. When I took myself out of the picture and just looked, i saw that us homosexuals dont even see ourselves as equals, let alone to have others see us as equals in society. I don't know why, but many many gay guys I know are as shallow as the puddle that forms after the rain next to the lonkang, along the roadside. They judge each other's looks, gender, mannerism, physicality, RACE, and such. People are just physical objects and no longer human beings that have emotions thoughts.

I talk to my gay friends and this is exactly the criteria they judge their potential life/sex partners to be. So in many ways, we discrimnate each other first in purely physical ways that the straight world has been able to somewhat overcome (or so it seems).

I thought that of all the people, gay people would be the ones not to judge other people and accept them for who they are. Turns out, its the other way around. Its kinda ironic, but we have ourselves have become a society of judgemental and discriminating people. The very thing gay people around the world are fighting AGAINST.

Now I am not resistant to this society. I myself have been judgemental and discriminating people. But for once, I can take myself out of the picture and see what it is I am doing. A huge slap on my face. Somehow I feel and wonder, that if i did not behave like this, I would not fit into this society - something I kinda dread.

All these made me realize, that if there is any society that needs to have its mindset changed, its the gay people themselves. Why would the world accept a society of people that judge themselves yet seek not to be judged by others outside the society? Wouldn't that be hipocracy? Human nature I guess, but we are beings that have choices - we chose what we want to believe in and what we want to accept. Because of that, there is no doubt that we can look past the physical and accept people for who they really are; chubby,slim, open, passive, chinese, indian, malay or otherwise.

maybe someday I'll see these things not to be true, and have a broader picture - at least i hope I will.

p.s. all these references are taken in a local context, i have yet to experience the culture of international gay societies.

cheers.
aj

Running After Money.

2009-10-19T00:31:00.005+08:00

It's my 6th day of work already, so that means I've been working 6 days out of the possible 7 in a week. Wow. Anyways today - or maybe I should say yesterday, considering it's past 12 am - was supposed to be my off day. But yesterday my supervisor requested i work today as well. Even after denying the idea initially and explaining to him that I had school the following day, he still was persistent. He said this one thing to psycho me "can la... earn a little bit more money only lor," so there you have it. I went to work today so that an extra 15 bucks or so could be added to my wallet. -.-

Nonetheless, it was an interesting experience. I don't think many new guys get to be a food runner in their first week, like I was today. My name was not on the initial list, so the supervisor just added me under the 'food runner collumn'. It's not as easy as it seems okay! There are so many items on the menu and i kept on having to ask the chefs what it was I was serving. This one chef probably got irritated and then chose not to reply me. He pointed to receipt instead, which stated the short form of the food I was carrying. Ok la, at least now I know how to identify the food I serve now.

My one screw-up today was how i held the hot plate. Apparently you're supposed to hold it with your forearm below the wooden platform and ur palm supporting it, with the side where there is no sauce facing you. I held it with my fingers at the sides... lol. The plate was damn hot can? I knew it would be hot, BUT MAN that was FLAME GRILLING HOTNESS! I burnt my fingers carrying out to the customer lol. Furthermore, the sauce was splattering all around (because it's poured onto the hot plate and it starts sizzling) and i got minor burns on my forearms as well. Lol. My supervisor caught me and after a short discussion with the other supervisor, he brought me back into the kitchen and taught me how to hold it.

I told myself to remain motivated in this job and keep on doing my best even though I may be new and suck at lots of things - that's exactly what I did today. I managed to get past the initial blurness and then picked up my pace to match the rest of my co-workers. A buddy of mine helped me by teaching what I should do and how. I wanted a waiter's job, so now I huess I have to deal with whatever shit I may get from doing this.

My first waitering job and despite all the setbacks, I'm still lovin' what I do! :D

To my bearbear.

2009-10-11T04:29:00.003+08:00

That's right. This post is for you. You seem so adamant on letting the entire world know about us in your blog, I didn't think you'd mind me having this one post to tell everyone that reads this blog (there are not many so no worries).

I have been waiting my whole life for someone to fill that emptiness I've always felt. To be honest, I thought you'd fill that void. When James first introduced you to me, he pm-ed me seperately from our conference and told me;

"aj. don't let this one slip away."

"why?"

"well you wanted a bf. this could be your chance."

You said you started smiling again after you met me, I could see in those beautiful eyes how much you wanted me. You made me smile again after a long time too, but that smile was in no way strong enough to overcome what I felt in my heart - it told me you were not the one.

I liked you more the more i met you, but never in the way you liked me. In fact, when I was away from you, I felt the most at peace - all that told me exactly what my heart really wanted (or did not want).

I dreaded the day I would not want you to be my boyfriend, but it came eventually. Like I told you that night we met, I cannot force myself to like someone when I don't.

After countless times of getting my own heart broken, I never imagined I'd be the one to break someone elses' heart. At least I did it graciously and did not walk away without closure. Sad thing is you didn't really seem to appreciate that. You dont know how much hurt and sadness I felt to tell you what I did. I ate myself up because of it. Maybe Matthew, Marr and Kelvin would know, but you dont.

I know its easy for you to think I dont care, that I'm the bad guy, that I mistreated you. I hope you see otherwise soon. The first time I saw you I saw your eyes; I peeked into your soul and I knew how innocent and tender you truly were. Characteristics that were not meant for me I guess.

Alas, I don't want this post to be all emo and sappy (because im starting to tear already -.-). Remember how on our first meeting we went up to that block and played with each other at the stairs? I never did that before. We kept saying "stop it," when we both knew we wanted it hahaha. That was fun.

Remember how I felt so guilty for being late when I met you on our second date and I brought you chocolates? I never gave anyone chocolates before, so count yourself honored. Holding your hand in the movies the entire time was the most secure feeling I've ever felt. I don't think you knew that. ;)

Remember how we sat in front of cathay and just talked until i missed the train to meet kelvin? I enjoyed that night, really. Was the most romantic thing I've done in a long time.

And i hope its all these that you will remember from me, and not those bad things you've built up in your head. I know what I will remember.

You're the sweetest guy I've known till date, and I am not just saying that. So here's to you paul. I hope to see you smile again someday and have those beautiful eyes of yours brightened once again.

Have a good life.

aj.

http://notsoreallylor.blogspot.com/2009/10/trust.html

I am A J-mal.

2009-09-17T23:40:00.003+08:00

I was discussing this the other day with my bestest gay friend. Most people out there know that homosexuals are known as well, gay. But I bet many don't know that like in different countries they call themselves different things.

Like in Malaysia they're called PLU which stands for 'People Like Us'
In China they're called something in chinese that literally translates into 'comrades'
And here in Singapore we're called AJ - i know. Sounds like someone you know doesn't it? :P

My gym buddy said that I was predestined to be gay because even my name has the acronyms of the gay term. Even though I think we're all predestined to be what we eventually become, I still think its kinda funny, and amazingly accurate how YOU ARE WHAT YOUR NAME IS. Lol.

I think the terminology was created so we can stay discreet, and I guess I pretty much just outed everyone didn't I? Lol. So don't tell anyone about these terms hahaha.

marr's super-awesome post.

2009-09-14T02:42:00.003+08:00

" Love is temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides, And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessnessm it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both and art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two. "

i took this from my besty's blog. i think she perfectly describes what love in its essence is. read more of it to find out about her life and her relationship with her sweet boyfriend, seriously.

i salute you marr. congratulations on your love for each other. best buds always, aj.

i need you guys right now, like really.

2009-09-14T01:29:00.003+08:00

dear blog buddies (that means you who's reading this), i need a little favour from you. i'm trying my best not to think of a certain someone, as you can imagine i would do if you read the previous posts. Now, if i'm alone at home and rotting away, i feel desperately lonely and i start thinking of him. can you guys please drag me out of this depressing house and keep me company? i need to spend my time with someone, lest i start spamming him with smses again.

thanks once again to my best-buds for keeping me company these couple of days to take my mind off him. And thank you in advance for those of you who are gonna drag me out. =D

i need someone to be with tommorrow, that is the 14th of September (technically its today, but whatever laaaa).

send me a message! cheers.

How's Life?

2009-09-14T00:50:00.002+08:00

We've all heard it before. The uber-common phrase when we speak to someone we dont see sooo often. "How's life?" I'm not much on mediocrity so I don't believe in giving mediocre answers like "ok lor," or "its alright." So lemme share with you a little analogy on life I have.

Life to me is like an orchestra piece. It compromises of many sections and parts, of many movements and phases, with many different emotions and messages.

My life compromises of soooo many things and people. It moves through many phases; some happy some sad, some peaceful some MAD. So many emotions and messages come into play and influence the mood of my life, it's barely even describable. Just as all the components of an orchestra piece come together and form a perfect musical masterpiece, the many components of my life fall into place and then you realize everything is meant to be the way it is; and like the we hear the beauty of a perfect chord, i see the beauty of life this way.

So next time you decide to ask me such a question, be prepared for an answer like that. To make things easier for you, just don't ask me. Lol.

Life's Directions.

2009-09-14T00:04:00.004+08:00

Life is probably the most interesting on Earth. I mean, each living being on this planet has a life that is so different from every other life; and it's simply spectacular what life can do.

Being away from this blog for ages, my life has, naturally, been incredibly eventful. And the only reason I'm back here today is because my besty said "it's been a long time since you've blogged."
I realised I've transformed so much on the inside, it's almost as if the same Ajmal doesn't exist anymore.

It's no doubt that being gay has influenced and impacted the way I live my life in a large way. However, I'd never imagine it would be of that magnitude. For some time now, my life has been all about, as Lady Gaga's song goes; Boys, boys, boys! You don't wanna know what I'd gotten into, really.

As is many things in life, nothing is for certain, and nothing is completely secure, especially relationships. Uncountable heartbreaks had left my soul drained and my body unable to battle the challenges of everyday life and its perpetual temptations. I merely let myself drift in the sands of time - something I would previously NEVER let myself do.

As my mind transformed, so did my life. It's just a testament to what thinking does to your life. I can tell you that I'm no longer that innocent little boy from secondary school. Its my last year as a teenager and I'm really glad i experienced what I did.

A close friend of mine asked me plainly - what happened to the Ajmal I used to know? I did not know how to answer him, because I knew exactly what he was talking about. For a while in my life, I looked in the mirror and did not recognise the man I saw.

No sensation is the same as when you once again realise for yourself where you want your life to go. My friend may have asked a simple question, but it set off a flurry of thoughts in my head. And I used to be the one who would set his life in perspective, and tell him to wake up. Aah how the tables have turned! I cannot say that everything in life is now set in the right motion, but I can say it's somewhat back on track. Still hang onto old habits, but its no longer a cause for distraction - or at least, it shouldn't be.

For now I'm just going to sit back and watch life unfold it's magnificence unto my undeserving eyes, and have faith that things will work out for the better. I have never regretted things that have happened to me and this time its no different. You know what they say, 'everthing happens for a reason.'

LIVE your life, not survive it. But don't restrict yourself to what people say it should be. It's your life and you decide its course. We LIVE and we LEARN.

Cheers to everyone who lives.

National Day - What Does It Mean?

2009-08-06T23:53:00.003+08:00

Now I know you guys must have heard the theme song for this year's National Day Parade. It's really bad, no offense to Electrico. To be honest, it really sucks! hahaha. I know it's supposed to be artistic and that is the typical kind of music that the band plays and all, but it's really not the way we all know NDP to be. For years we've been mesmerised by patriotic tunes like "Count On Me Singapore", "We Are Singapore" and "Stand Up For Singapore" - This year's song just doesn't match up to it.

Anyways, finally having gotten that off my chest, I was thinking today. What does National Day really mean to us, as Singaporeans. Are we really celebrating 44 years of independence, or are we just happy to see the fireworks and the performances in the parade? I started to think back to the days when Singapore was still a third world country (by the way did u know they called Singapore 'Temasek' in the 19th Century? I had no idea. So basically Temasek Polytechnic is literally 19th Century Singapore Polytechnic LOL kidding kidding :P)

I mean back then, the people of this country were living in poor health and less than sufficient homes, like many other Asian cities were. My mom tells me they had to poop in little cabins outside their kampongs and then wait for the waste collector to come and get it. Later got diarrhea how sehh?? "Uncle, wait i still got some more coming!" - lol....

But look at the country now. I mean I only need to walk like a couple hundred of meters before I get a decent place to poop. I have an equal chance to be the person I want to be and get employed equally (though not always). I was watching a documentary about Singapore on the Discovery Channel and they showed the classic scene where MM Lee was all emotional when we separated from Malaysia. I really can imagine how he would have felt.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not sucking up to the country or how perfect it appears to be. I mean come on, I still have issues about that whole criminalizing gay sex thing. MM Lee also said that we are not a nation yet, and i totally agree.

It ain't perfect, but there is no where I would rather be this month than here in Singapore, singing to the old classics and walking around the neighbourhood as they display the NDP spirit. I'm no sucker for the country, but after all these years, I would say that National Day really is one day where we put aside our many many many many differences and celebrate together. Don't laugh at me for this post. Lol.

So come 9th August, as you recite the pledge and participate in the only Singaporean holiday, think about what it means to you, what it means to be Singaporean. It may be that at least you have a country to call home, or it may just be the simple fact that it's a public holiday for 2 days. Whatever it is, Monday NO SCHOOL !

~WE WILL STAND TOGETHER HEAR THE LION ROAR~

cheers.

Mitchell is a hot-guy name.

2009-07-30T01:26:00.002+08:00

So I was scheduled to have training the other day, for the whole 'Poly 50' run. The trainings had started like 2 weeks ago but i never bothered to turn up lol. The day before the session the leader of the whole thing messaged me saying "You have either not been coming for training, have not replied any of my messages, or have not given me your Tshirt sizes, or all of the above. Are you still running? I would need to substitute you..."

So i guilted myself into running, since i had voluntarily signed up and all. Man did i make a smart move. This leader told me i was in group 3, and that my team leader's name was Mitchell. Mitchell? wow. sexy name already. :P

So when i headed down to the running track naturally i did not know who Mitchell was. I decided i'd call the number given to me. Ring once.... no one picked up. "No way man... imma spam this fella till he picks up," I told myself. Second ring. A masculant voice picked up the call and after like 5 seconds of talking my friend next to me nudged me. "Err... look there."

I turned and i saw this piece of hunky man meat (probably shouldn't describe him as a piece of meat but oh well) that was wearing tight sportswear. That singlet totally showed off his sculpted arms and those tight shorts could in no way mask his bonerific (LOL) behind. He had a totally hip hairstyle and perfect teeth too! Like OMG was this guy an absolute dream man or what? lol. And guess what? He spoke great English. @.@

What i'm trying to say is that he was totally hot. I may have gotten carried away with the last paragraph there, sorry lol. But it's not just him. I know like 3 people named Mitchell and they are all undoubtedly hot, like Matthew's friend from Shatec that goes to gym, or that Mitchell dude in secondary school (he was much hotter then, lol).

Why are all the Mitchells i know all irrestibly hot? I really don't know. After last friday's training i can safely conclude that Mitchell is indeed, a hot-guy name.

Next time you go online-dating look out for people named Mitchell, or at least, now you know what to name your kids. haha.

cheers.

Facebook Gave Me A Home

2009-07-28T23:33:00.002+08:00

Never underestimate the power of the online world. That's right, read the title again. For months now i've been innocently facebooking, not knowing of the incredible reward it was to bring me.

My mom would always complain about me staying up late and using the computer. What was i doing? Facebook lah! I used to play this game called restaurant city lol. So yea. As innocent as it was, i got bored watching the moving pixelised characters doing the same thing over and over. I scrolled my mouse over to the ads at the site (I also happened to join a gay personal's network too this way hahaha). So i saw this advertisement for a housing agent. "3 room flats in Hougang, Toa Payoh, Serangoon ...."

For those of you who don't know, my family has been frantically looking for a house to stay in for the last 4 years? Yeah. I've been living out of boxes most of my teenhood. The agent my mom has been working with is unreliable and bottom line lazy. No results for 4 years of house hunting. So I clicked that ad and it diverted me to the agents personal website. I was shocked to see how many houses were available.

I emailed my mom the link and she called up the agent. Within no time we went for several viewings. And after like 2 days or so with the agent, my mom found a house she really liked and that was in her budget. Not too long later, we bought that 3 room flat in Hougang and we are expected to move in somewhere around August, and this time, it's FINAL! No more boxes and living like a refugee. I can finally call a place home. =)

Funny how all this came out of Facebook, the thing my mom hated to see me on at night. Yet night and facebook it was, that delivered this great gift to us that we finally have had years of prayer answered.

What can I say? Good things happen when you least expect and in the weirdest ways.

THANK YOU FACEBOOK !!!

Music That Made Me Cry

2009-07-13T04:41:00.004+08:00

I don't know if it's because I'm tired, I dunno if it's because I don't feel too good. But whatever the reasons and combinations are, I was still brought to tears when I heard this magnificent piece of music. You probably will recognise it; it's called He's A Pirate.

I know this isn't the kinda music that makes people usually cry, but I'm feeling all fuzzy and I just started crying when I heard this.

Enjoy. Pirates Of The Caribbean, main theme. your heart starts echoing the beat of the music. it is unmistakably recognisable.

Coming Out All Over Again...

2009-06-19T03:53:00.002+08:00

"I have something to tell you. I don't exactly like girls. Get what i'm saying?"
"Erm dude, i like guys...*innocent look*"
"I just wanna get this off my chest. *Breathes deeply* I'm gay."
"There's something you should know about me. I don't care what you say or think about me. I am who i am. I am gay."

Some of the lines that i have used in the past to enlighten my friends as to why i never spoke to them about girls i liked, or would talk about girls in a cheeky way etc etc etc. After 4 years of realizing who i am, I am at utmost confidence of myself. Yet, when i am put into new surroundings and i am forced to mingle, i often hold back the whole 'i'm gay' card and try my best to fit in while being myself. I don't laugh at gay jokes, but i don't say anything either. It's as if I am back in secondary school and i'm trying to come out all over again. I often avoid the subject and my tongue ties itself up when i try to use my famous lines up there. Basically, i'm having problems coming out to the new group of people i meet in my life.

The fact is that as a homosexual you come out many times in your life. When you go to the mall and see an old relative and she asks about your girlfriend. When you meet up your old school-mates and they ask you hows life. So on and so forth. Part of being an open homosexual is being able to come out to people comfortably and still respect yourself at the end of the day even though the person you met may not. Imma huge people pleaser. I do my best to be as diplomatic and please all parties involved in any situation. That's my nature. This kinda conflicts withs my views on homosexuality because when i come out i need to educate people, not sway to their opinion of who i am. What can i say, being gay and Ajmal is hard. Funny, being Ajmal also means being gay! :D

It takes a tremendous amount of courage to come out to someone for the first time, though it gets gradually easier the more you do it. You could not imagine how insecure i was when i first came out, unless of course you have come out youself lol. Somehow or rather, i am a little excited about the rejections i will face when it happens and how i will handle them. I just pray that i do not crumble under the pressure. If i do, i can only reach out for my phone and call Matthew, Marr or Kim Yong. LOL. XD - thanks guys for always being there. =)

And thank you (you know who you are) for recognising how much courage it takes to come out. Gimme a pat on my shoulder sometime and say "i'm glad for you. congratulations." - that's all i wanna hear ^^

happy gay pride month!
aj.

Sit Down and Wait, or Stand Up and Fight?

2009-06-19T03:28:00.003+08:00

As SPECTACULAR as that PinkDot event was to me, i couldn't help but ask myself, why there was no hype on the local media like on channel 5 etc, or why i did not hear of this event on TV. Is Singapore still not ready for events like this to be broadcast on national TV? Somehow, i don't think so. Maybe if we lived just 10 years ago the idea of having such an event would be... absurd, wierd and WRONG even, maybe. But things are different now and the world is steadily accepting the LGBT community. So why not Singapore media? I'm still kinda fed up at why they removed the gay wedding scene in the show Brothers & Sisters lol.

Our gay forefathers have fought long and hard for many years in courts and parliaments and communities just so that we can live as equal human beings. Its pretty much the same as a country (take Scotland, USA, Jerusalem and even Singapore for example) who has had to fight its way to gain independence, to not let other people's beliefs and cultures be passed off as your own. To fight for an equal stand in the world. Our gay forefathers must be so proud today to see that their dreams are finally materializing into society today.

However, it is not our duty to be complacent that our rights will always be there. It took many years of fighting to establish laws of protection for being beaten 'because he was gay'. What makes us think that these rights will always be around? Just as our forefathers let us reap the benefits of their hard work, so must we let the future generations reap the hardwork we sow today. My message is; don't just sit around and wait for things in the world to start falling into place, stand up and fight for it! As the words of the great Mahatma Ghandi said, "be the change you want to see in the world."

As for all you straight people, this fight does not elude you. You have friends who are homosexuals and/or bisexual. Helping to stand up for them is like helping to stand up for your friends when they are bullied. Although we have made great changes already, we cannot do it alone. We are afterall, one people, one nation, one Singapore. :P don't we all deserve to live in a country where all are equal despite race, religion, economic background, SEXUALITY?

so once again. Sit Down and Wait, or Stand Up and Fight?

PinkDot & The LGBT Community.

2009-06-19T03:11:00.003+08:00

I couldn't believe my eyes when i first saw it, but yes. After so many years of being in silence, the LGBT communuty is coming out of the closet and into Singapore's society. In one of my earlier posts i did mention that there are more people that are coming and and embracing homosexuality as a part of life. Not that there weren't homosexuals back then or that there were lesser, it's just that at that time society wasn't exactly very welcoming of us and that led to the relative 'silence' of the LGBT Community. Now, i could'nt believe my eyes when i saw it, but my visions for gay people is coming true indeed. An organisation called PinkDot held an event on the 16th of May this year (2009) and the turnout was much more than expected.

PinkDot.Sg is an organisation that gives individuals, business and people a platform to stand up againt prejudism and identify themselves as advocates of a more 'loving Singapore'. So if you would like to support this cause, feel free to join them in Facebook where they have over 5,700 members already signed up with this groundbreaking organisation.

LGBT/GLBT - stands for The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender / Gay, Lesbian Bisexual, Transgender community in any country. For those of you who don't know, well now you don't have an excuse. :)

2009-05-16T04:25:00.002+08:00

I guess some of you have noticed? There are some ads on the sidebar of my blog. its an alternate way of me trying to earn some money lol. So if u have the heart (and the time) please do click on the ads each time you visit me. thanks a whole bunch. =)

Blog Posts

2009-05-10T03:49:00.003+08:00

I know no one has been reading my blog lately so i decided i'd read it myself. It's nice to see the good old days of my life and how i have changed and grown-up, so to say. I have come across some posts that i feel are pleasant to read and i am gonna post the links so that you guys can read em, without having to filter through my whole blog. Imma categorize em too, so enjoy (i hope you guys read em lol)

Compositions/Essays;

Childhood
Family

Life Changing/action inspiring self-thoughts;

One With Nature
Best Friends
The Fragility Of Life In Our Hands
What's Right

Powerful/Controversial Thoughts;

The Future Of Gay People In Singapore, and the world
VOTE EARTH!
5N2 '07 / 5N2 '08?
Dreams v.s. Money
taking a step to having a good life

Good Gay-Themed Posts;

How Does It Feel To Be Gay
The Coming Out Process - The Cast Model
Man Crushes
Is It Right?
Homophobia

When You Need Some Motivation;

The Don't Quit Poem
The Human Spirit
Decisions VS Circumstances (Warning, long post!)
A Beautiful Song

Stuff To Laugh About;

dude, ajmal, and a chick
Adult Fares
Archie my bf.
STORM
The funny things people say.
Technology made me depressed.
stuff to make you laugh abit

of course these are not all the posts that are good, they are just posts that i think are worthwhile reading. i'd love for you to read the rest of my blog, but that's entirely your choice. If you do feel like i am missing some posts from any of the categories, fell free to drop me a message and tell me which post u wanna nominate and for which category. lol

cheers, aj

Kevin And Scotty's Wedding Ceremony

2009-05-04T01:16:00.002+08:00

In relation to the previous post, The Future of Gay People in Singapore, and the world, this video is the wedding ceremony of Kevin and his partner, Scotty. It's beautiful if you ask me. It is beyond me why this would be censored from TV, but hey at least here on the internet we can see it. So for those of you who are not offended by homosexuality, please do take a look, and realize that gay marriage can be as beautiful as traditional marriages.

The Future of Gay People in Singapore, in the world

2009-05-04T00:35:00.004+08:00

Have you ever watched the show Brothers & Sisters? If you have then you will know a character called Kevin Walker; the lawyer in the family, and he's gay. In the beginning it was a little rough for him, having to deal with his work, family and relationships. More recently however, he met with one of his old buddies and eventually they got married. But of course, i don't intend to tell you the story of the show and/or Kevin. Now i stayed up late cuz i had wanted to digest the food i ate a while ago and i turned on the TV to help kill the time. Brothers & Sisters is one of my favourite drama serials and Kevin is without a doubt, my favourite character. It was the episode that he was supposed to get married. I was so eager as the scenes passed and they got closer to the wedding, it would be the first gay marriage i have ever seen. Then just as the scene came, it got cut and they moved onto the post-wedding scene. My heart just sank in disappointment and i started to ask myself, what happened? "Oh of course, they censored it!"

You get what i'm saying don't you? The MDA (Media Development Authority) has a policy/law against showing homosexual content over the media (even if its not sexual); no broadcast should in any way, justify or glamourize, gay lifestyle. It makes me feel a little bit sad. It almost seems as though it was meant to be hidden from the world, that all gay people should live in secret. It is, of course, not true and many countries around the world are openly accepting its gay population. Now i respect the laws of the MDA, they filter out inappropriate material that shouldn't be broadcasted on national TV. But it comes to question; is gay marriage, inappropriate?

But a little reality check. Singapore is a country that does not criminalise homosexuality - unlike some countries which do. For that i am very thankful. For those of you who have been following the news this past 2 days you would have probably heard about this AWARE thingy going on, where sensitive topics were discussed openly in public, including homosexuality. It just goes to prove that the country is (even if its doing so slowly) opening up to the gay community and I myself have been noticing that alot more gay people are out in the open these days; whether it may be on the media, or even on the streets. Now it is thoughts like these, that make me smile, that make my day.

I am sure in the future years to come homosexuals will be widely accepted not only in this country but also in the world. It is a cause our gay ancestors have been fighting long and hard for and i'm sure they would be proud to see it materialising slowly today. Perhaps schools will start educating the young about homosexuals and this will in turn lead to them being accepted as an integral part of society. Which in turn will lead to less gay-jokes > social classification > isolation > discrimination. A chain effect. Perhaps Singapore would even be a country to legalise same-sex marriage! - HOPE! What a world that would be. On that day, i will be proud to stand up and say "HEY WORLD, I'M GAY!!"

Times are changing and so is the world. We gotta keep up and adapt. I am very hopeful, however, that despite the global warming and economic recessions, that the world is indeed becoming a better place - a world of harmonious co-existence and equality.

Good day!

The only time you'll hear me talk about my love

2009-04-29T01:54:00.004+08:00

It was an interestingly good day today. Numerous incredibly-awesome-totally-dope instances passed which include my classmates covering for me, having a great EC tutorial & a super hot guy messaging me. Nonetheless, i wanna mention something that happened today.

We ended up brisk walking to the MRT in an attempt to ditch someone and meet her at the station. The two of them started cracking jokes and poking each other. I laughed and laughed until in the corner of my eye i saw someone; someone vaguely familiar. My brain instinctively screamed his name in my head but i chose not believe it at first. So he walked past the pillar, a blind spot in my line of sight. And there, together with what seemed to be a friend was him. It was really him afterall. I would recognise that face anywhere. Even if my eyes had failed me at that moment i would've still recognised him.

One of the reasons i picked SP was because i could study network marketing. I also knew the poly the most, out of the 5 polys. But however, one other reason was the subconcious knowledge that a certain someone went to that school as well. I knew i would see him eventually, i just didnt think it'd be in that situation or this early in the year. Yes, thats right. I saw Whye Chiz today.

He walked past me without even stealing a glance in my direction - perhaps it was because my friends had me well hid behind their bodies, or perhaps i just had slipped too far in the shadow of his eyes that even if i stood right in front of him he would see right through me. He looked incredibly different, but not the different i wanted to see. He did not look as hunky as i thought he'd always turn out to be, and neither did he improve his sense of stlye and/or personal grooming. Sure he was decent looking and all, but an oversized T-shirt, berms that go 3/4 down his legs, the same old bag and slippers were always his style. At least that didn't change about him. It seemed like his face was scarred by pimples, but that may have just been my imagination, because i pray his beautiful face has not been scarred in any way.

I started to think after he left, and i was on my way to work. It was incredible seeing him today, even though he didnt see me. I haven't seen him in over 2 years. Yet, for some strange reason, i dont feel the same way i used to feel back then. Sure, i still loved him, but not like what i used to before. I smiled, assuring myself that i really had moved on.

===============

i know i was being a bit dramatic up there but hey u gotta forgive a dude when he hasn't seen the only man he loves in 2 years. No he doesn't know im gay and no i didn't go up and say hi because i feared his reaction. I am not sure i can live with the idea of him still not having forgiven me after all this time, and let it ruin my years in poly. I miss him oh so much but i also dont wanna ruin it all over again. God answered my prayers today when he let me see him again, a prayer i've long since been asking for. I can only pray now that the good Lord lets me talk talk to him again.

You know they say you never forget a first love. As much as i dont want to agree, the statement is true, at least in my case it is. I still love the dude, but not like back then when i was totally nuts and obsessed about him. Besides, he's not as hot as he once was :P

Lol, this must be a bit wierd to people reading this and all, so my apologies. Lemme be cuckoo in this one post okay? XD Dang! im gonna start crying soon lol

"If I know what love is, it is because of you."
--Herman Hesse

Taking a leap of faith

2009-04-24T00:45:00.006+08:00

a lone man stood on the edge of a cliff, rapidly contemplating if he should take his leap of faith. He stood there, thinking and thinking, but the more he thought, the more he couldn't do it. It was just one of those things u do without thinking too much. So..

he jumped.

he landed with a big splash and found out he was still alive. In fact, he was more alive than he had ever been. He turned around and looked up at what he had just jumped from. The beauty of it left him speechless.
______________

Alot of times in our lives we lack the faith to do something incredible and just do it without thinking. We don't trust ourselves to be able to make it and thus we doubt we will. All too many times, a leap of faith into the unknown is rewarded with overflowing blessings. Hope you get the moral behind this one...

I guess i'm gonna do the same and jump off that cliff i've been dreading for so long. I trust God to help me out through it and that i land safely. With that...

I'M COMING OUTTA THE CLOSET FOR GOOD!

isn't about time you took that leap of faith too?

dude,ajmal and a chick

2009-04-23T15:28:00.002+08:00

dude: i saw these two lesbians kissing. eww

ajmal: you know, homosexuality is perfectly natural, even animals do it

dude: is it?

ajmal: ya

dude: but i think GAYS are the most gross

ajmal: of course you would say that! ur a straight guy!

chick: U MEAN UR NOT STRAIGHT???

ajmal: ....

table laughs.
------------------

what i think of poly? ---> -.-"

I dont wanna complain but...

2009-04-18T16:32:00.002+08:00

So another chapter in my life unfolds. I cannot say i am too excited about it. The universe has a certain tendency to pile up problems on me at once. It gets very frustrating at times. But of course, i am not here to complain about that.

Being a poly student kinda changes lots of things. The principal said that (and i think i can agree) wearing our own clothes is a significant change because it means we are no longer in a regulated environment and that we are free to do as we choose, as adults do. Now, i don't know how much freedom adults have, but i believe that in poly we really are free people who must take responsibility for ourselves. That kinda scares me a little. I suddenly feel very small in a huge world that has seemed to unleash itself upon me. Oh how insignificant it makes me feel.

Back in FTPSS, i had to bust my ass off studying in order to get the 12 points i finally happened to get. Yet here, in the DBA class i am in, everyone has 12 points - and the worst part is they really dont feel it was much to them at all! Some even shared with me that they were slacking all the way to prelims and then ended up with 12 points. Like what? Apparently i'm just surrounded by geniuses. One ofthe lecturers keeps saying "you all are smart people!" and that "SP's Business school has the brightests students!"

I guess at the end of the day, i just feel pissed off that all that hard work i put in last year seemed to have no special outcome. I guess i was just used to being different, now i'm not. I blend in with all the mega-geniuses i have in my course and may even be the underdog.

one more thing. How am i supposed to be openly gay in poly? it seems like everyone around me is making homophobic-jokes and spreading homophobic ideas around. I cant imagine how they would react to me coming out to them, if i ever do lol.

Man i guess thats the 'adult' world for ya. I just dont seem to be myself lately. The universe has probably effectively broken me down till im all tender and fragile. I guess i just need time to build myself up again, after being torn down like that.

So if u see me around, do encourage me a little bit ya? We all need a human touch once in a while. =)

How Does It Feel To Be Gay?

2009-04-07T01:14:00.002+08:00

Yeah, it's about time i posted another 'gay video' - lolz. This one helps people to understand how it feels to grow up as a gay person. The emotions that you might feel are what gay people feel as they grow up and perhaps this will help bridge an understanding between homosexuality and heterosexuality. It's only 6 minutes, just close your eyes and imagine. =)

Check out his YouTube channel: bmcnaught

VOTE EARTH !

2009-03-24T02:50:00.005+08:00

The world's first global election is taking place on the 28th March (that's this saturday!). An election between Earth and Global Warming. From 8.30pm to 9.30pm you can vote for global warming by leaving your light switches on, or you can VOTE EARTH by turning off your light switches for that one hour. It's called Earth Hour

As human beings, we are the only species in the planet that has the ability to decide the lives and destinies of all other creatures, and even the planet itself. Do not be fooled by thinking, oh it's no big deal, and i'm just one person. If every one person thought that, there would be no one left to help fight climate change. Its a small step into preserving the beauty and life God has blessed us with. In you now is the power to give or take life from the planet and all who inhabit her.

Chose carefully. VOTE EARTH!

Earth Hour, Saturday 28th March 2009. Check out the video too.

Save the planet man~

The Don't Quit Poem

2009-03-24T02:08:00.002+08:00

I have a beautiful poem to share with you. Now i found this on YouTube and it has spread its positive effects all over to anyone who reads it. I know sometimes in life, we feel so down that nothing in the world can bring you back up again. Perhaps this might help. Remember, if you've reached your lowest, the only place left to go is upwards. =)

When things go wrong
As they sometimes will
When the road you're trudging
Seems all uphill

When funds are low
And the debts are high
And you want to smile,
but you have to sigh

When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must... but don't you quit

Life is queer with its twists and turns
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about,
when he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt

And you never can tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seems so far:

So stick to the fight when your hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Inspirational Video - The Don't Quit Poem

Rasa Sayang EH!

2009-02-20T14:55:00.002+08:00

I kinda liked this video. It seems really old. Just in case you're wondering how old? Well dick lee was singing about buying a pager/cordless phone and this other fella was talking about having more than 2 babies, lol.

Very singlish and, i like! :D
But i can't help but wonder, is Rasa Sayang a Singaporean song or is it like some foreign song? Come to think of it i never heard anyone sing out outside of Singapore.

Kinda reminded me of my roots, like this is Singapore and not some ang moh pai country, you know what i mean? lol

The Human Spirit

2009-02-18T19:50:00.003+08:00

I was heading home the other day at around 12. The thing about going home late is that i seldom get to see people around me and i just started to think out loud. I realized i was feeling very negative about something that happened at work, that affects all of us working there. But yeah i was thinking about my problems and how my life sucks and how i wish i was never born blah blah blah and then suddenly i stopped. I realized i aint the only fella in this world who has problems! I mean look around EVERY human being that walks past you has a problem of his own. Now when problems decide they wanna bug me i do what i usually do; think of a meaningful quote. That's when i realized something else too - you can find a million and one meaningful quotes that champion the human spirit. My conclusion; feeling down is completely normal! If you ask me, facing hardships in life is drinking water - absolutely essential for survival. You know what they say, "that which doesn't kill you can only make you stronger"

Here are some of those quotes i was talking about;
"A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits"
"The greatest glory comes not from climbing, but from rising each time you fall"
"Even if the world is going to end tommorrow, i will still plant my apple tree today"
"What's worth the prize is always worth the fight"
"The world may not believe in me, but if i believe in myself, i can succeed"

And the list goes on.... Now we've all seen the moments in TV, where people come out of hard times and succeed. Like when the swimmer from the paralympics won the gold medal for Singapore, like the lady from china who had no hands who fed her entire family, like the famous singer who won the competition despite strong adversities against her. All these do one thing, they champion the human spirit. A spirit which all of us have within ourselves. We are for more capable than we are, if we believe we can be.

So if you find yourself stuck in a position where you are incredibly down, look at it at a different point of view - its a perfect way for you to show how strong you really are, how you can display the human spirit. Rejoice in the face of hardships, because without it glory and joy means nothing.

P.S this is for all my buddies who have been complaining to me about their hard lives. Remember, we have the spirit!

There is a song that i really recommend you guys listen to. It'll change the way u see things.
Nickelback - If Today Was Your Last Day

It's your life. LIVE it.

One With Nature

2009-02-16T17:11:00.002+08:00

There is something very calming about the serenity of the natural world. Though we live in an urban jungle of glossy-windows and high rise towers, every few hundred kilometers u get a nice spot where the struggles of modern life seem unable to manifest. Yes, i like going to parks - not because i like looking at trees or feeling the heat of the sun - but because of what all these can do for me. I've soon realized that it rejuvenates me.

Though it wasn't a park, i sat myself on a bench that was next to a playground. It was surrounded by grass and there was no shade in sight. I sat there and started to think. In our lives we are faced with many adversities and trials that test our will and purpose. Often the huge flame of motivation dies down in the face of these trials till it is only a small flame on a matchstick that can be blown out by a small gust of wind. You get what i'm saying don't you? I was just very demoralised that day. Stuff happened that made me feel down. And i sat there watching the kids scream their lungs out at the playground, listening to the gentle chirping of the birds and felt the intense heat of the sun beating against my scrawny body. It was like i was in a spa.

As thoughts flooded my brain and i simultaneously sorted out my emotions, the physical feelings of sitting there started to take its effect on me; i started to feel very peaceful and calm, till the point where it seemed like nothing in the world could bother me at that moment. Not suprising, after 45 minutes of sitting there and thinking, i felt remarkably better. Like fire, motivation needs but a single spark to start burning. I left the playground once again knowing what i wanted in my life.

I cant help but wonder. How did sitting at that place have such profound effects on me? It is said that God created the world perfect for man; that everything he needed was here on earth. Perhaps it is. Perhaps we were made to co-exist with the natural world and as it benefits from us, so do we benefit from it.

Perhaps nature is more worth fighting for afterall.

Adult Fares

2009-02-05T22:44:00.004+08:00

A new dawned upon me and i started the day in absolute confidence that i wouldn't be spending too much that day. Little did i know a horrific dose of reality would unleash itself upon me that would so burn a hole in my (3 years already but still haven't change) wallet. I took the train to Ang Mo Kio that day. I saw that my balance was $0.26, and i presumed after tapping out i would have like -$0.90 or something. But when i tapped out, my vision intensified as i stared at the screen which said -$1.11. I had to top up anyways so i headed over to the machine and popped in 10 bucks for my card. $8.89 left. This time i decided to take a bus cuz i thought i'd get charged 45cents or something. HA! I tapped and just one sharp-pitched beep that signified the adult card sounded. I literally let out a scream as i heard it; driver must've thought i was mad or something. By the end of that day, all i had in my card was 4 bucks. -.- Man what a rip-off.

Now i know it's not like me to bitch about stuff but i really feel like i got scammed by the transport authority. I mean, how can one bus ride cost over a dollar? I aint no math genius, but 1 adult ride is like equal to at least 4 student rides la!

but hey the bitching over rising costs of living aside, i guess its time for me to realize i'm growing up and i'm no longer that kid - or STUDENT - i once used to be. I'm glad i'm doing something that helps me to attain financial freedom, but i am just shocked at the sudden changes.

Oh, and i think i need a new wallet...

I'm Busy.

2009-02-05T22:36:00.002+08:00

I know i've been away for some time. I dont like to admit it, but my time management sucks. It's like, i spend close to 12 hours a day running my business, a few hours of sleep, and whatever free time i have left i spend online watching gay movies (i'm not talking about porn here!) on YouTube or watever website that hosts videos.

I must say, the gay videos are very satisfying, entertaining, and makes me wish i was one of the characters in them! Dont hate me, i'm just gay lol.

Anyways i think imma spend a little more effort on this blog and get them controversial, opinion-oriented posts back up again.

Cheers!

Yes, We're Gay But...

2009-01-27T18:43:00.002+08:00

props to GDProphetXVII for yet another great movie.

we may be gay but we're not who you think we might be; I'm just saying, we may not live up to all your stereotypes.

"Now That You're Out"

2009-01-27T01:45:00.005+08:00

hahahaha! this just cracks me up. the last part says it all; be proud of who you are!

Life Is Like A Song

2009-01-17T00:30:00.003+08:00

or in my case, a few songs!

you know how it us with us - the moment we're on our own in the bus its straight plug-in. BAM BAM BAM; music blasting into our ears. As i was gently head-banging to the music, i realized something; that many feelings/thoughts i have are potrayed in songs. Here's what i mean. When I think of lets say, dozens of cute guys along orchard road, i think of the song that goes "oooh heaven is a place on earth..." get the picture?

My feelings/thoughts on;

Whye Chiz - First (Lindsay Lohan)
Secondary School - Graduation (Vitamin C)
My Life - When You Believe (David Archuleta)
My Future - Breakaway (Kelly Clarkson)
How to Live - If Today Was Your Last Day (Nickelback)

well the list goes on. Sometimes I use these songs to evaluate my feelings and you may not believe it, but i am able to sort things out and give myself direction after it. Who knows, it might help u too!

I'm sure each of us have a list as unique as we are. What's urs then? What song(s) tell the story of your life? Think about it.

'O' levels

2009-01-14T20:59:00.003+08:00

Well the day came and went. It was one of the proudest moments of my life.

After a whole year of moping around past results, tears for not passing my maths, rejection of peers, loss of popularity, out of place feelings, i am proud to say i have overcome all those obstacles to achieve the best results i ever could achieve (in my opinion).

Mr Khew called out my name. His voice was barely audible over all the fuss that was going on as all the tears and all the screams echoed throughout the hall. My heart starting to thump a little faster, i walked over and placed my hands in my pockets and gave him a smile. He smiled back at me and told me to sign the papers. I signed em.
Then he gave me my results slip, along with the 'Form A' which totally covered my results. "Good, i'm happy for you." was what he said. Ah Tat stood beside me and said we'd look at our results together. So slid the form A slowly down. First subject; English..... ONE. Next Subject; Combined Humanities... FOUR. Next subject; Mathematics..... FIVE !!!! - at this point i totally lost it and screamed my lungs out. All the attention around the sec 5's area was diverted to me as i screamed so loud i could feel my vocal chords scarring.

I thought u guys might wanna see my results.

English - ONE
Combined Humanities - FOUR
Mathematics - FIVE
Combined Science - ONE
Food and Nutrition - THREE

ELR2B2 aggregrate = 14. L1R4+CCA = 10 (don't ask me why)
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As proud as i am that i have achieved these results, i just wanna say i am deeply disheartened that some of my fellow comrades did not make it. And though it pains me to see u guys sad, i just want to tell you guys that all things happen for a reason. Fight On! Don't give up on yourself.

BELIEVE when others doubt. Take action, when others dont.

Decisions VS Circumstances (Warning, long post!)

2008-12-31T01:24:00.003+08:00

P.S. This post is dedicated to my buddies who have hard lives. MAKE A DECISION TODAY.

I slogged my body along the dark pathways next to the roads, as i silently contemplated my feelings. Being a musician, i am very prone to being emotional at the little things that happen. The hunger in my stomach is a harsh reminder of the circumstances i face. Hunger does many things to a man - it makes him angry, it makes him sad, it makes him grouchy, it makes him mad. Bottom line he just gets EMO okay?

yeah so i starve on a regular basis. Story of my life. Once i even saw a piece of fish that someone had left on the floor. It was half eaten but i actually asked myself if i wanted to pick it up and eat it! The next moment i was like "EWW! DUDE ARE YOU CRAZY!?" - lol. So what do i do? Just sit back and complain about life? Lemme share with you a story i heard.

In a senior journalism class the students were tasked with an assignment - to go interview someone big and famous. Many said they'd do celebrities, others rich people. But this journalist thought all that was too common. He thought he'd interview someone on the verge of dying.

So he finally decided on interviewing someone of death row. He went over to the prison and asked to interview one of the prisoners. The prison warden guided the journalist to a dark cell where this prisoner sat handcuffed. The journalist walked in.

"So what did you do to get the death sentence?" - the journalist asked.
"Oh i did lots of things! I've raped girls, done drugs, you know.." - the prisoner was so full of himself as he said it.
"You don't feel any remorse?"
"No."

Now the journalist got a little frustrated with the prisoner at this point. He then said. "I don't get it. You spent your whole life doing things that put you in prison. Don't you know what you could have achieved in your life? You spent all those wasted years and feel no remorse?"
The prisoner got defensive and said "I have no other choice! My family is like that! My dad's a drug dealer and my mom's a prostitute!"

The journalist decided to end the interview there and walked out of the cell. He asked the warden if anyone had come to visit the prisoner. No one did. So he asked if he had any relatives he could talk to. The warden gave him the address and number of the prisoner's brother.

So the journalist flew over to the state and stood in front of the building where the address was. It was a tall bank. "Hmm.. his brother must be a cleaner here." - He thought. He walked in and approached the security counter. "Excuse me.. i have an appointment with this person."
The guard stared at the man and asked, "Are you sure you've got an appointment with him?"

"yes of course, i'm sure."

The guard went over and made a phone call. He came back and was suddenly very polite to the journalist. "Right this way sir. He is waiting for you."

They entered the lift and the journalist noticed the building was 70 floors high. When he past the 20th floor the journalist was thinking "wow, he's working as a staff in this company..."

but then they past the 50th floor. "Wow, he must be some senior ranked staff here..."

when they reached the 70th floor, the journalist was shocked. "70th floor???" He walked out expecting to see the president of the bank. And right he was. There, sitting in his posh office, was the president of the bank, and he looked exactly like the man in the prison cell! Totally shocked, he exclaimed "You like the man i interviewed in the prison cell!"

"Haha... of course! We're twin brothers afterall. How's my brother? I heard he's being sentenced?"

"But... your brother is in the prison cell and you are here as the head of a bank?" the journalist asked, though the reply that came made the journalist speechless.

"I have no other choice! My dad's a drug dealer and my mom's a prostitute!"

----------

in the end its all about choices, not the circumstances you are in. what i want to bring across is that its about your DECISION not your CIRCUMSTANCES.

Now as we foster in the new year, just remember not to let your circumstances stop you from making good decisions. Make a decision to be the change you want to see in your life.

Happy 2009 to ya!~

4 Minutes

2008-12-27T15:34:00.004+08:00

I saw the vid on MTV and i was like "omg..." - because Justin Timberlake is HAWT !!!
Watch full screen to maximise his HAWT-ness. Turn up your sub woofers and watch JT dance baby! Unless of course, you'd rather watch Madonna dance, then at least its still a reason to watch full screen :D

If you think Timbaland is hot then i've got nothing to say...... -.-

Christmas Blues

2008-12-26T00:27:00.003+08:00

So the clock struck twelve and my phone started to vibrate vigorously with all the flooding smses - all of which saying "MERRY CHRISTMAS" in different ways.

Due to the fact that i was holding 2 plates of barbequed chicken and bee hoon in my hands, i didn't reply. so after taking my own sweet time to finish the food, i finally got around to going through those messages. Then i realized i ought to reply them.

I typed a simple message that said "Merry Christmas!" and pressed send; but to who? - i asked myself. Of course i replied those that send smses to me, but i told myself i'd pick some of my closest friends.

so i scrolled through my phone's contacts. There was kim yong, marr, matthew, eraidie, joey etc etc. Funny thing is i started to recall all the memories i shared with them.

It was early christmas morn and there i was daydreaming of all the fun times i had with these people. I realized how much i miss them.

Christmas in a way also symbolizes the end of the year - a great year indeed for me. But as the present slowly fades into the archives of my memories and the new year dawns itself, i wonder how my friendships will turn out. Already i've lost friends because of my job. Those that still hold me as a friend are what we call 'true friends'.

I want to take this chance to say thank you to all those of you who i consider my closest buds (you know who you are). It has been great being with all of you guys and sometimes friendships can be so strong that they last lifetimes. Cheers to you!

Looking forward to a great year ahead.

quiz. (yet again)

2008-11-07T21:30:00.002+08:00

1.The person who tagged you is?
Nelson

2.Your relationship with him/her?
Good Friend

3.Your 5 impressions of him/her.
1)Adorable
2)Funny
3)Takes cute pics of himself
4)Would be really HAWT if he lost a lil more weight =D
5)Great taste in music

4.The most memorable thing he/she had done for you.
help me find the courage to talk to someone i like.

5.The most memorable thing they had said to u?
"come on aj, you can do it!"

7.If he/she becomes your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be?
have a little more hope in the future, oh and lose a lil bit more weight! lol.

8.If he/she become your enemy, you will?
scream and run just in case he squishes me.

9. (Repeat Question)

10.What is it you want to tell her now?
HIM you mean. erm, "are u working this holiday?" - lol.

11.Your overall impression of her is?
adorable. LOL

12.How do u think ppl around you will feel about you?
super shocked and homophobic once they find out. LOL

13.The characters you love of yourself are?
I'm always fighting the odds no matter how long or how much it takes out of me. =D

14.On the contrary,the characters you hate yourself are?
I am naive and stupid sometimes.

15.The most ideal person you want to be is?
Me, myself and I.

16.For people that care and like you, say something to them.
Thanks for all your support, i know i couldn't achieve what i want without u guys. sometimes its all that keeps me fighting!

17.Pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you
1: Kim Yong
2: matt
3: Marr
4: Joey
5: Shaman
6: Amos
7: Fauziah
8: Yana
9: Grace
10: erm, Yvonne?

18. Who is no. 6 having relationship with?
himself.

19. Is no. 9 a male or female?
female

20. If no. 7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
erm, kinda odd, but heck why not?

21. What is no. 2 studying about?
cooking and how to make his plate look super nice. lol

22. When was the last time you had a chat with no. 3?
5 hours ago.

23. What kind of music band does no. 8 like?
i dunno, korean/jap pop maybe?

24. Does no. 1 have any siblings?
Haha. He sure wishes he does!

25. Will you woo no. 3?
no way, she's a girl!

26. How about 7?
same goes for this question.

27. Is no. 4 single?
i sure wish he was!

28. What is the surname of no. 5?
aiyo. i dunno leh.

29. What is a hobby of no. 10?
drawing? God knows man

30. Does no. 5 and 9 get along well?
they dont know each other.

31. Where is no. 2 studying at?
Shatec.

32. Talk about something for no. 1.
the oldest, and probably most ridiculus friend i have. Love spending time with him and pouring out to him though. "we're good buddies. no secrets between us."

33. Have you tried developing feelings for no. 8?
i dont try to develop feelings, they just come. sides, i wouldn't even want to; she belongs to someone!

34. Where does no. 9 live?
TPY, i think.

35. What colour does no. 4 like?
black?

36.Are no. 1 and 5 best friends?
LOL. no way.

37. Does no. 1 have any pets?
hamsters i think.

38. Is no. 7 the sexiest person in the world?
nope, but no 4 and 5 are! lol.

39.What is no. 10 doing now?
haven't seen her in a long time. dont know.

Best Friends

2008-11-02T01:56:00.003+08:00

I spent the whole day out with a friend on Friday. It was halloween and I wouldn't have wanted to spend it with anyone else. I met her at 10 in the morn and i reached home at 11 that night. Talk about a long day!

The thing that made me think was that i realized i liked spending time with her; she's like a sister i never had. We share stuff in common, like how we both have hard love lives, and how we both LOVE to stare at cute guys - lol.

Still, sometimes i ask myself if i would dare call her my best friend - all the last ones i called best friends ended in disaster. Those of you who remember things with me and Whye Chiz, and Harold does not speak to me no more neither.

Giving a friend a label like my best friend is not good if u ask me - it makes them think they play a special role in our lives and as is human nature, they take it for granted. Its happened all too often before and I am not gonna let it happen anymore. I don't think i can call anyone my best friend, at least not at the present time anyways. It might be cruel, but i like to keep my good friends hanging on my friendship rather than making them feel secure with me that they would take it for granted. (Sorry guys, >.<)

Maybe this case only applies to my life; perhaps millions have succeeded with calling each other best friends, i dunno. So it just leaves me to ask; do any of you have real best friends? If so please do tell me! Make me convinced and believe in 'best-friendships'.

Thanks marr for the time and the fish; u cook awesome! =)

Childhood

2008-10-18T00:02:00.003+08:00

I rest my rear on the sun-baked ground of the scorching plateau. Staring out into the horizon, I see the invaders marching off in a slow, downcast stroll, as their heads hung low from the defeat they had just received. The heat of the sun intensifies as i slowly squint my eyes until they are completely closed. I let my physical feelings and thoughts overpower me. Soon, my idle mind begins to drift, into the vast spaces of my memories.

My belly was exposed to the sun as i hung all four of my paws in the air. Dehydration made my tongue languorously hang out; I took short breaths to keep my heart going. Being born into the pride meant that i was the luckiest of all cubs; I had always had a silver spoon in my mouth. In moments, mom came up to me, dragging a juicy piece of baby gazelle meat and dropped it onto the ground next to me. Such were my living conditions that I even got to choose which parts i wanted to eat, and left the scraps for the hyenas. And when i was done, I quenched my thirst from the watering hole just meters away. Mom told me I was born to be a king so I feared no predators.

However, as I was munching down into my share of the tender meat, Little Sis' joined me. "There goes my food", i thought as she sprinted towards my lunch. She was my only real competition when it came to food. When the other memebers of the pride tried to take my food, mom would come to the rescue and save my meal. As a cub, I did not understand these complex things, why my mom needed to protect me, why other animals ran away from us, and why the other males were fighting with other strange males. When an epic battle took place, Dad would use me to distract the invaders because of my speed. I was really plaing catching rather than running for my life. Like mom said, I was born to be a king, so why would I be afraid?

Yes, why would should I be afraid? So I walked wherever I wanted to - and on that day it was beyond the territory of the pride. The savannah seemed to completely change; it suddenly seemed darker, and every animal would successfully scare me off, especially those colosal elephants, that towered two million feet above my little body. Little Sis tagged along and we soon found ourselves hiding under a fallen tree branch. And then, out of a corner, came one of those invaders. He had not noticed us, though we did.

He was a furtive animal with a face that bore the scars of many battles. Those were attractive features on a male lion, so much so that my sister was absolutely infatuated with him. What a better time to exercise my "kingly" authority than to go and talk to him now! I conceitedly matched towards him, for upon noticing me, he pounced upon me and almost crushed me with his body weight. Little Sis' came out screaming and begged him to release me. No such luck. He opened his jaws to expose his huge canine teeth and I braced myself for what would be my first feeling of real agony.

A thunderous roar echoed down the savannah and the mae released his grip on me, petrified by the roar. I managed to slip away, when I saw where the roar came from. It was Dad. He stood up tall with his back arched and his mane revealing his power. Now that was the majesty of the king! He leaped in front of me to shield me and gave me a powerful swipe at the other male. One more scar to add to the collection on his face! It was thus taht i realized how naive I was. It was life and death out here and it was no child's play. Dad was appalled at out mischief and we got what was coming our way - harsh punishment.

Evidently, it was the innocene of children that made me do those things, an innocence that has long since left me. Now, on the sun-baked ground of the scorcing plateau, I sit as the head of my pride, as the king of the savannah, in all the majesty and glory of a lion. I sit and guard here to make sure other cubs have the silver-spoon fed, gazelle-lunch childhood I had, so that from that childhood, they would rise up to be where I am today. My mind came back to the present moment as I slowly opened my eyes. A small grin came across my face as I saw two curious cubs venturing beyond my domain. I got up and walked in their direction, knowing what they would get themselves into. What a childhood they will have too!

Family

2008-10-17T23:23:00.003+08:00

The arctic blizzard blew hard against the ever-enduring male. Ice and snow kept beating his back yet he would not succumb to the climate. All his life, he had been waiting for this event; it was the only purpose of his mortal existence. The frail two-week-old egg rested on his feet and he protected it from the elements using his belly fat. The blubber he had kept it warm. With his body temperature dropping rapidly, he huddled up with the rest of the males; it was the only way he could keep warm. The egg was growing fast within the grasp of his feet, all he needed to do now was to wait.

In a diverse and magnificent kingdom, not many would stick together and mate for life. Yet, his species did it. In such an environment, it was the only way to ensure survival of the species. Because that was what life was created for - to ensure the continuation of its kind in reproduction.

Parenting an unborn chick was not easy, especially since his mate was away hunting for two months and the chick would hatch soon. When it does break through its frail casing to peer out into the 'white world', only he could feed it, with whatever food was left to regurgitate.

A month had passed since the bundle of joy had been passed onto him, and now his effort was duly rewarded as the tiny beak burst forth through the shell and looked up at daddy's face. One could even say he teared when he say his baby. However, his troubles had not ended, not yet. The female mother had not yet returned and it was all up to him to feed the chick. As he summoned up all his might to bring back up the food from his stomach, he worried there would not be enough for the chick to survive. Already, the other males had succumbed to the arctic hunger and abandoned their chicks so they could feed themselves. A mere thirthy seconds was all it took for the chick to die if it were left exposed to the cold. But he was stronger than that. He was not going to let his baby die. He mustered all his remaining strength and tucked the chick under his belly. He was just all too lucky that there were no predators other than the arctic ice. He was not in any way strong enough to fend off anything else.

For two months now, male and female had been separated and their hearts yearned for each other. Both of them set on a single conquest - to raise the precious baby they had. Back in the waters, the female did not know her baby had hatched, but she suspected it. She knew she had to get back quick, or her partner would surely perish. The greedy leopard seal sat on the ice and waited, never failing to seize an opportunity for a meal. She however, did not care. She had to get back, never mind the danger to herself. In perfect synchronization, the females lunged themselves into the air, onto the ice and quickly scrambled across it to safety. Some had not made it; they fell prey to the seal. But that is just how it is - the circle of life.

She scrambled back inward to the ice where her partner was. Full of energy she had gathered from the fish in her stomach, she screamed out across the ice, calling to her partner. At last, after two long months, the male heard her triumphant call. Using what was left of him, he called back and soon they were re-united. He cuddled her using his beak and introduced her to their chick. The reunion did not last long though, the male was too weak from starvation to rejoice just yet. He passed the chick to the female, being careful not to touch the ice, and joining the other males, waddled back to the waters.

The process of "sharing the responsibility" is carried out many times, till the chick is old enough to learn to hunt for itself. Then the family would migrate back to the warm seas. It is a long and arduous task, yet why do Emperor Penguins still do it? That is what they were created to do. One could say it was a command from God even; "And God said, go forth and multiply". The penguins know the value of life because each day they put it on the line. It is survival. Yet they choose to do it together - male, female and chick - because they are one. They are family.

The Coming Out Process - The Cast Model.

2008-10-16T21:55:00.005+08:00

So, I was YouTube-ing during my free time and like i said before one can find a million and one gay vids there. I found one that is very informative and thought i'd share. It's called "The Coming Out Process" and it uses something called the cast model, which shows you which stage u might be in, in terms of coming out, and what to expect in the next stage.

Stage 1 : Identity Confusion

This is a stage where u ask yourself questions like, "could i be gay" or "is homosexuality relevant to me". In this stage there could be a lot of denial and confusion and you could generally avoid information/behaviour of gays and lesbians. You might deny any sexual experiences as relevant, and rather just blame it on being drunk or experimenting.

Stage 2 : Identity Comparison

In this stage people contemplate the possibility that they could be gay. They might identify differences between them and their heterosexual peers which may lead to alienation. They may also feel grief from what they think they may be giving up by embracing their sexual orientation. They may just brush it off as something temporary though.

Stage 3 : Identity Tolerance

In this stage they accept the probability of being gay. In this stage they may try to decrease any social alienation by seeking out other gays/lesbians.

Stage 4 : Identity Acceptance

In this stage they accept rather than just tolerate a homosexual self image. In this stage there is increased contact with gay and lesbian community/culture and possibly less and less contact with the heterosexual culture. In this stage they try to bring their private life and their public life closer together by selectively coming out to people. They become more comfortable being seen with groups of gays and lesbians in public.

Stage 5 : Identity Pride

This stage is really an outward stage where people will think they have to let people know. They will become immersed in gay/lesbian culture and even less association with the heterosexual community from a political and social viewpoint, seperating the world into gay being 'good' and straight being 'bad' - possibly developing a hatred towards hetrosexism. They'll identify gay culture as their sole source of support so they'll have all gay friends etc.

Stage 6 : Identity Synthesis

This is probably the ultimate stage you wanna be in. People in this stage would have developed a more holistic view, defining themselves more completely, rather than just in terms of sexual orientation. There will be a decreased intensity of anger towards hetrosexism and allow their trust in them to build. They will feel comfortable moving out into the world and not define it based on sexual orientation.

Credits to robmuch and his video "The Coming Out Process"
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Though this is very informative, i don't think one should believe that this is exactly how a homosexual should live his life, rather it just being a model to tell them where they are or where they could be heading. After all, we all lead different lives with different circumstances. So with all this in mind, its time i asked;

what stage are you in?

5N2 '07 / 5N2 '08?

2008-10-11T15:10:00.004+08:00

BBQ's are very typical if u ask me. The same stuff always happens! People struggling to start a fire, too much food left over, three people fanning one pit, etc etc, blah blah blah, watever watever. Nonetheless, a bunch of ex-classmates gathered at one and it was really a chance to see em again.

They really haven't changed at all in character - its still the same people I once knew, though they physically look different (no one more than haikel and chia how!).

Wei Leong popped a question to me that made me think. He asked me "Which do you prefer, 5N2 2007 or 5N2 2008?" - a tough to answer question especially since most that surrounded me were 5N2 2007 peeps. I answered honestly, "5N2 2008". Wei Leong replied in his oh-so-usual way - "wa... ajmal i'm so disappointed in you." - lol.

The fact is that as time goes by we all move on and live different lives. Especially so when you leave secondary school, where you start being independent and there are millions of paths to choose from. I chose to retain, while most left. And as such, i have let myself move on from the attachment to my old classmates and drowning myself in self-pity (that they are all starting new lives and i'm here on my own blah blah blah). Furtheremore, it was my current classmates and teachers that helped me pick myself up at the beggining of the year, not my ex-classmates/teachers.

I don't think i need to justify my choice of "5N2 2008". Just because we like our new lives does not mean we like the people in our old life any less. 5N2 2007 will always be in my memories and they will always be my buddies (as long as they want to), but that don't mean i dont like 5N2 2008 either - in fact i am happier with it, thus my choice.

Buddies are buddies regardless of the choices they make. They'll be my buddies as long as they want to.

Cheers to 5N2 '07 and all the people/memories that come with it!

He's willing to take me! (thanks for your support)

2008-10-11T14:54:00.003+08:00

I am practically marvelled and shocked at how many people are rooting for me to succeed in achieving my aspirations - from my closest buds like marr and ky, to the not-so-close ones, from the teachers and even the VP! I really wanna thank you guys for the support; sometimes its really all that keeps me fighting. All these people backing me is just yet another reason for me to strive to achieve what I want to.

Thus, I wanted to share how the meeting with Mr Thomas Manhart went. He was totally not what i expected a successful, self-sustained, established german musician to be. In many ways he was really a quirky character. I really laughed hard when he attempted to speak singlish with all the 'la' s and the 'hello uncle' s. He was really understanding and sympathetic to my situation but he constantly reminded me that i'm skinny -.- lol.

as with everything, there are the pros and the cons, like those he saw in me. He told me i need to connect more with my voice and my body, and he also said that I have a fighting spirit that is very convincing (YAY!). The main purpose of me meeting with him was to be able to become his student, and i have successfully achieved it. He's willing to take me! What a milestone indeed. I thank God really for letting this happen.

I have lots of work to do now, and Mr Manhart has asked me to cut back on my online time. He said "there goes your life but here starts a new one." Lol. That means less blogging i guess.

cheers, aj.

Homophobia.

2008-10-09T16:18:00.002+08:00

YouTube is very enlightening sometimes. I took the day off today and went surfing (the net, that is) and though some videos i saw were emotionally moving, others were appalling. Of those that shocked me the most are comments that people post on videos; homophobic, judgemental, discriminative comments.

Yeah, you can find plenty of 'gay' videos on YouTube and while it is fairly easy to dismiss them as "wrong" or "evil" or even "pervertic", it is not easy to understand why one would make such judgements. If you ask me, people like this are just homophobes who are afraid to accept gay people (because every gay person is a pervert and can and will take any means to touch/grope/rape you, you see. plus it's also contagious, so you can catch 'gay' by interacting with one! pfft! [sarcasm])

Now it really puzzles me why people have to be afraid of 'gay' people. Maybe it's because of the pre-conceptions they have? I dunno, you tell me. They always said "man fears that which he does not understand," could that be a reason too? that they dont understand?

What's there to understand? If you are human you will understand how it is to feel attracted to another person, to fall in love once in a while and to want to be loved and not be lonely. Like hello, homosexuals have relationships just like hetrosexuals do. It's not like once you're gay you're a slave to your hormones and have urges to hump every other guy you see lol.

so for those of you who are homophobic, you tell me, what makes you so afraid of homosexuals? What is so different about homosexuals that you have to be so afraid of them? But before you go hating, discriminating, alienating, judging them, just remember they're humans just like you who have emotions just like you. Would it be nice to hurt someone's feelings? =P
Don't punish them with your opinions, actions or words. Hey, when has God punished a man for being gay? If God Almighty himself don't do that, what right would you have? =P

take it from me - being gay is no different from being straight, except that you like someone of the same sex (that's not a very big difference). You don't have to be afraid, cuz your not gonna 'catch it' AND WE'RE NOT GONNA EAT YOU. So stop running and accept us for who we are. It's easier to love someone your whole life than to waste your efforts hating him.

p.s. if you ask me if i'm gay, i'll call you an ignorant dinosaur and smack you. =P

Peter & Ben

2008-10-04T13:17:00.003+08:00

i was browsing through YouTube and found this video under "recommended for you". It's a touching story of two 'black-sheep' forming a bond. It really made me go "awwwwwwww......."

Dir: Pinny Grylls / UK / 2007
Peter and Ben is a touching and quirky story of how two "black-sheep" form an unusual and enduring bond.
Best Documentary - Aspen Shorts Fest 2008
Screened at London Film Festival 2007 & Clermont Ferrand Short Film Festival 2008
www.invisiblefilms.co.uk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFTGBmX19VQ

100 questions.

2008-10-02T01:32:00.002+08:00

Imma victim just like the 8 of you will be. Bare with me ><

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs.
B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those that are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state the person they are tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by.
C) Continue this game by sending it to other people.

The 8 victims; (i'm just sticking to 6 cuz i cant think of anymore lol)

Nelson
Marr
Kim Yong
JOEY !
Yana
Haikel

1. What have you been doing recently?

Practicing lots.

2. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?

It turns of by itself whether I want it to or not. Lol.

3. What happened at 10.00 am today?

Sleeping – dreaming of Kim. =P

4. When did u last cry?

I dunno, maybe it was one-two months ago?

5. Believe in fate/destiny?

Yeah. I do.

6. What do you want in your life right now?

A boyfriend and good ‘O’ level results. Lol.

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just pop up your hood?

If im carrying an umbrella, I use it. If I’m wearing a hoodie, I just pop it up.

8. What’s your favourite thing to have on your bed?

My someone special.

9. What bottom are you wearing right now?

A pair of shorts I’ve had since forever.

10. What’s the nicest text in your inbox say?

“I love you too… Haha… Bye”

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?

I’ve never had one, so I wouldn’t know.

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?

I’m wearing underwear someone GAVE me.

13 What was the last movie you caught?

Wall-E.

14. What are u proud of?

Being able to accept who I am. It makes me mature.

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?

“I love you too… Haha.. Bye”

16. What was the last song you sang about?

It was about Christ’s birth.

17. Do you have any nicknames?

Most people call me A.J. but people call me Ajmao, ah-ji-mao, stick-insect, anorexic and my bro calls me ‘four-eyed freak ass’

18. What does your last received text message say?

“Ni sape?” (who’s this?)

19. What time did you go to bed last night?

1 a.m. I believe.

20. Are you currently happy?

I’m always happy ^^

21. Who gives you best advice?

God and mom.

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?

I’ve tried it, but don’t do it regularly.

23. Who did you talk to on the phone last night?

I didn’t.

24. Is anything bugging you right now?

Something always is =/

25. What/who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?

YouTube

26. Do you wear toe socks?

I’ve never owned a pair before.

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?

Mom.

28. Have you ever had your heart broken?

Like a million times.

29. What annoys you most in a person?

A big ego and a loudmouth.

30. Do you have a crush on someone?

Yeah. I do.

31. Have you ever done cocaine?

Haha. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. =P

32. What is the color of your room?

It’s white. As are all the rooms in the house.

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollars?

Not even for 2 billion dollars.

34. Do you believe in the saying ‘talk is cheap’?

What’s there to believe?

35. Who was the last person to lie in your bed?

Me, unfortunately. =P

36. Who was the last person to hug you?

I have no idea. Lol.

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?

Nope.

38. Do you have a life

I’m alive aint I, so yeah course I do!

39. Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn’t?

Erm, maybe in my dreams.

40. What is the reason behind your profile song?

What profile song? O.O

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?

Kim – go figure!

42. Last time you smiled?

When someone told me I had to do this quiz – I haven’t smiled since then.

43. Have you changed this year?

Without a shadow of a doubt.

44. What are you listening to right now?

The sound of my CPU fans running.

45. Are you talking to someone when you’re doing this?

Yeah. Matt and Joey you guys are guilty.

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?

They’re always open, cept for the occasional blink.

47. Is there a quote you live by?

Several, but I don’t live by them, merely acknowledge them.

48. Do you want someone you cannot have?

Oh yeah! David Archuleta! LOL

49. Have you ever played an instrument?

I am playing one now.

50. What was the worst idea you’ve had in this week?

I don’t believe in bad ideas – all ideas are good for something.

51. What were you doing last night at 11 pm?

Still dreaming about Kim. Lol.

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?

I don’t have no love life right now.

53. What song best describes your love life?

A song that about being single.

54. Does the person know you like him/her?

I don’t think so, but who knows!

55. Who always makes you laugh?

Kim Yong. That I’m sure.

56. Do you speak languages other than English?

I guess I can speak in Malay… I think.

57. Favourite website(s)?

Its-aj.blogspot.com, orangeshark.com, youtube.com and the rest are my special websites that no one should know about lol ^^

58. What’s your middle name?

Don’t have one.

59. What are you doing tomorrow?

Lotsa things.

60. What do you think you are like?

Like a rose among thorns LOL

61. Who will you chose to die with?

No one. I don’t wanna have to compete to go to heaven. LOL I’m kidding.

62. Where have you been today?

The toilet and the sofa. What about you?

63. What game do you play often?

Online pool? I dunno.

64. Who are you missing right now?

I miss Kurt.

65. If you have to chose between a friend and a love, who will you chose?

Who says the person I love wont be my friend? Ha! Lol.

66. What are you doing right now?

Answering this quiz and yawning.

67. Which primary school are you from?

Why you wanna know? Heh. Bendemeer Primary.

68. Name 3 colors that you like.

Purple, Blue, Red?

69. What emotion you like to show?

I only hide sadness, I show all else. Lol.

70. What is your life to you?

My life is so large and miraculous, words simply cannot express its magnitude.

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?

Find a way to solve/get rid of it.

72. Who did you last chat with on MSN today?

Joey.

73. Who do you admire the most?

My mom, most of the time.

74. Which month are you born in?

Another redundant question, but September.

75. How are you feeling right now?

Pretty tired I guess.

76. What time is it now?

Its 1:20 am. Why am I still awake??

77. What kind of person do you think the one who tagged you is?

A very sociable person and a great friend. =)

78. What color did you use to dye your hair?

I didn’t.

79. Why are you doing this test?

I needed something to post about anyways. Lol.

80. What do you do when you’re moody?

Take a walk and clear my mind.

81. At what age do you want to get married?

If same-sex marriage were legal, I’d get married around 30.

82. Who is most important to you?

God.

83. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do?

Scream and run around in circles because I haven’t passed my maths yet and I cant die! Lol.

84. Who is the person you trust the most?

God.

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?

Always.

86. If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?

To live a life free from financial strain and one of happiness.

87. What is your goal for this year?

PASS MATHS!

88. Do you believe in eternity love?

Eternal love you mean. And yeah, I do – God’s love is eternal.

89. What feeling do you love most?

I love to love. Lol.

90. Do you really think its global warming now?

What’s there to think? It’s proven that it exists right?

91. What feeling do you hate the most?

I hate feeling alone and having no one to turn to.

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?

Not every single one, but I do cherish the ones I see as important.

93. Do you believe in God?

Yeah.

94. Who cares for you the most?

God does.

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?

The relationships I form with people and God.

96. What will you bring when you fight?

A banner saying “violence never solved anything”

97. What have you regretted doing in your life?

Nothing. I don’t live with regrets.

98. What would you feel, if no one cared for you any longer?

I’d feel alone and ostracized.

99. What if your boyfriend/girlfriend two-timed you?

I’d ask him why and work things out.

100. HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW?

Kinda tired now that I’ve finished 100 random questions.

Justin Timberlake on Oprah

2008-09-30T22:06:00.002+08:00

I dunno if it's a new song or an old one, but it is a nice song! :)

something different about this live performance is that JT hits a bunch of notes all over the place and that there's actually a guitar/piano solo at 3:30 that made me go "aiseh, woah!"

What goes around goes around goes around Comes all the way back around~

Archie my bf.

2008-09-22T20:33:00.005+08:00

I woke up to a wierd dream today. I dreamt David Archuleta was my bf. LOL

i dont remember much of it - but the part i do remember.

Archie obviously stayed in the states. He'd talk to me over MSN and once in a while call me. He recently had this problem where no one recognised him anymore and that people didn't care about him no more, that he didn't have any friends blah blah blah. Me on the other hand, was super happy to be able to talk to him (like hello, David Archuleta leh -.-) and we clicked really well.
He told me his problems and i symphatised with him and so on. I dunno why but he's problems seems numerous and i'd feel very.... erm sad? symphathetic? i dunno how to describe the emotion i felt each time he spoke to me but it was pretty overwhelming a feeling.

Then one day he came over to Singapore and still no one recognised him. Out of the crowds in some warehouse i searched him out and then i saw him tearing at some corner. He instantaneously recognised me and started crying even more. Lol. I went over and gave him a hug (a pretty long hug if u ask me) i started crying with him too lmao xD.

after a couple of seconds of hugging i really started to enjoy him hugging me and didn't wanna let go. the next minute.......

MY CAT JUMPED ON ME AND RUINED MY SUPER AWESOME DREAM. Lol. I jumped up and then after a few moments of thinking i started laughing at the dream.

dreams are a way of your subconcious trying to tell you stuff. So what was this dream trying to tell me? That i like hugging David Archuleta? LOL. I know it's like, super impossible that Archie would add me on MSN let alone become so close as to be my bf =/ and all, but i told myself something after i got up, "hey, a guy can dream can't he?"

LOL

The lucky dustbin

2008-09-20T23:35:00.004+08:00

may this lucky dustbin bless you in all your endeavours and the ongoing exams - i dunno if it works but it didn't stop us from trying!

Cypbershot Phone

2008-09-20T00:39:00.004+08:00

i shot all these from the cybershot phone one of my friends so graciously lent me. i guess you can tell i'm really enjoying myself with it ^^

Whatcha think?

2008-09-16T00:56:00.004+08:00

a very romantic picture, yeah right!

whatcha think? very funny la, when we get bored from studying, look what we get up to!

tell me what you think of this pic! p.s. we were not drunk nor were we paid to do this. it was a spur of the moment thing. lol

cheers
-aj

What's right.

2008-09-16T00:28:00.002+08:00

My head hung low when i walked through the canteen. You know how it is; when someone blocks your way you look up at that person. The dude who blocked me was a usual patron to the lower secondary "gangs" of the school. The poor fella had food all over him, and i merely assumed it had been poured over him. It was such a common sight that most people did not even bother to notice anymore, but I did. My pace slowed down even though my friends already went ahead of me. I gazed in both amazement and disgust at the poor fella and the way he was being treated and then it came to me - why isn't anyone doing anything about it?

Beyond all the bad remarks, the poor attitude, the distorted head, i know the boy had something more to offer; i know because he was my junior. I wondered as a senior member of the school, and as a ex-leader of his CCA if i should've intervened. I chose not to lest i create trouble for myself. I also knew as good as my friends were, they would not back me if i were to do something as bold and stupid as that. Hey come on, i'd prolly react the same way. I saw a bunch of teachers ahead and figured i'd tell them, but as i approached the teachers it seemed like the fight was dying down. It was merely the victim giving in to those sorry excuses for a gang. They hurled insults at him and shouted at him, but he just sat there, not even brushing off the food that was all over him. Only God know's what i felt.

I guess in society these days - especially that of a school environment - it is perfectly okay to just walk pass or over another human being in need. Wrong is the new right. What is society then, if it has not a single drop of humanity left? I really don't understand why it was okay just to walk pass and not be bothered about it, as so many others of my peers were doing. Is it really not a matter at all if it affect you? Ironic that one of our school's core values is COMPASSION.

Is there no one left to stand up to the evil-doers? No knight in shining armor who steals from the rich and gives to the poor? Are all these simply stuff that happens in fairy tales? Sometimes you can just look at the stuff around you, and ask, "what has the world come to...?"

why didn't I do anything either?

Random Pics

2008-09-13T15:33:00.003+08:00

Prelim Topics!

Mind Map.. lol

One man's scrap food is another man's photo-taking treasure!

That was my super-awesome handwritting, lol

lol.

now that's what i call artistic!

FTPSS Choir and The Little Beggarman

2008-09-13T14:37:00.004+08:00

The First Toa Payoh Secondary School Choir performing at Henderson Secondary, conducted by Mrs Kwek-Pua Hwee Khee. Pardon the sound and the video quality - it was shot on one of my friend's phone, so just turn up the volume if you have to. After watching numerous choirs perform, we were all intent on bringing school pride to FTPSS - and as a result, this was one of our best performances that year. We had a "don't give up attitude" even though we were the underdog there. Being mentally strong, we produced a good sound and the judges were impressed. They said our choir had the potential to be a very good choir. They loved the male section (yup, that's Whye Chiz in the front in long pants).

now compare that with this very good choir. the sound is much better here, and i got this from Youtube sometime ago.

At 2:40 of the first video, we sing 'The Little Beggarman' - a traditional Irish folk song. It's not clear from the video, but it's a very comical song about the life of a beggar. Do watch it again and look through the words.

I am a little beggar and a beggar i have been for
three score or more on this little isle of green.
I'm known along the Liffey from the Basin to the Zoo
and ev'ry body calls me by the name o' Johnny Dhu
Of all the trades agoin' sure the beggin' is the best,
for when a man is tired he can sit him down and rest
beg for his dinner he has nothin' else to do,
only cut around the corner with his old rigadoo

(Du du du du du du..)
(Ding dong ding dong day, ding dong day...)

I slept in a barn one night in Currabawn a
wet night it was but i slept until the dawn;
there were holes in the roof and the rain was coming through,
and the cats and the rats they were playin' peek-a-boo!
When who should awaken but the woman of the house
with her white spotted apron and her calico blouse;
She began to frighten, all i said to her was "Boo! sure
don't be afraid, 'tis only Johnny Dhu."

(Du du du du du du...)
(Ding dong ding dong day ding dong day...)
(dm dm dm dm dm ding a dong ding a dong...)

I met a little girl a walking one day. "Good
morning, little flaxey haired girl," I did say
"Good morning little beggarman and how do you do,
with your rags and your tags and your old rigadoo."
I'll buy a pair leggings and a collar and a tie and a
nice young lady I'll go courting by and by;
I'll buy a pair of goggles and I'll color them blue
and an old fashioned lady i will make her too!

(Ah___________)

All along the road with his pack upon his back
Over the fields with a great and heavy sack
with the holes in my shoes and my toes a peeking through,
singing "Skin-a-ma-rink a doodle with my old rigadoo"
Now its time for bed, for it's getting late at night.
The fire's all racked now out with the light
And now you've heard the story of my old rigadoo
So goodbye and God be with you from old Johnny Dhu.

(Du du du du du du...)
(Ding dong ding dong day ding dong day...)
(dm dm dm dm dm ding a dong ding a dong...)

(Ah___________)
---------

a whole lotta words for a 2-min song eh?

update.

2008-09-12T16:51:00.002+08:00

ACHOCHO! PRELIMS STARTED ALREADY LAH DEI!

Maths, maths, maths, maths, maths, maths, maths, maths, maths, maths, maths, maths, maths, maths, maths, maths, maths, maths, maths, english, english, english, maths, maths, maths, music, science, science, S.S, S.S, S.S, S.S, S.S, S.S, S.S, Geog, maths, maths, maths, maths, maths.- that's all i do these days. (somewhere in the deep depths of this routine, F&N exists...)

Spoke to a bunch of music professionals. Complicated shit.

me and marr made a deal yesterday. before we die, the one thing we must do is TO PASS MATHS!

and thus explains the maths, maths, maths, maths, maths routine.

i'm getting flattered lately by the teachers. As much as i love the attention and the praise, i hate the pressure because of it.

meeting up with my music teacher for lessons again, and we're going to have practises straight through the O levels. Talk about a a huge load on my shoulders!

p.s. i know i usually blog about something with a better meaning, but i've barely had the time to think about it. lol.

cheers! enjoy your prelims people!

Comments.

2008-09-10T00:25:00.002+08:00

Why do you people think there is a "post comment" action on all these blog posts? So you can comment on them la! Nobody comment not fun one. What's the point of having a blog then?

I always figured blogging was a way to share with the world stuff i could never just say out. Kinda sad that no one seems to react to it, lol.

Please do post up constructive comments; its like the icing on the cake, the cherry on the ice cream, the cucumber on the eyes, the star on the christmas three, the ribbon on your birthday present - you get the point. lol

An Epic Battle & The Tyra Banks Show

2008-09-08T21:09:00.002+08:00

First of all i wanna congratulate KAI the Juggernaut and Ah Neo the Holy Knight for their omnislash-ing, hand of god-ing, victory against the Evil Magnataur Blogskine. It was an epic battle and i'm sure we are all proud of you for defeating the mega evil, fiendishly cruel blogskin HTML.

here's what i'm talking about; http://h0t-tomato.blogspot.com/search/label/Question%20remains.

anyways back to business. I was watching the Tyra Banks show just now and it was a really funny episode (not the funny kinda funny but the wierd kinda funny). It was literally a debate about what's best for moms. On one side, weighing in half of the audience, give it up for the WORKING MOMS! And on the other side, weighing the other half of the audience are the STAY AT HOME MOMS! It was kinda ridiculus to see how the audience got so worked up about the issues brought up, whether it was breast feeding or staying at home for your kids. They made little judgements on what's best even without proper backings. Like there was this one woman who commented on the stay at home mom that her kid should get daycare because he is not socialising. Wat the fish? I mean who is this woman to say what is and what is not best for the kid when she don't even know how the kid looks like!

I guess it was the influence of the audience. Something like peer pressure. Just cause u think it's right, and many people support that idea it automatically makes it right. I rolled my eyes at how they were so easily against the mother who breast fed her child up to 7 years old but clapped when someone said "the needs of my daughter come first". Aiyo sometimes people can be so dramatic, and it seems like women are the more common in this case.

Perhaps if strong influences did not make up people's minds, then we would not have communism, rally speeches, and the FTPSS Student Councillors (LOL). What a world!

Death; wassup with that?

2008-09-07T15:10:00.002+08:00

Why do we die? It don't make sense that we HAVE to die, if u ask me.

concept no. 1 : It is natural to die.

Is it? Out of billions of sperm, only we entered the egg. Of the thousands germs that bombard us each minute, hardly any can kill us. When we face danger, our bodies give of hormones and produce super-human reflexes and strength to save us. When a person is born, we rejoice and celebrate. But why then do we mourn if a person dies? Is it not natural for us to die, so shouldn't we be happy about it? How can death be natural then?I dunno about you, but it seems we were made to SURVIVE rather than DIE. It seems more natural to me to survive, than it is natural to die!

concept no 2 : To die is to die physically.

We all have heard of near-death experiences. Our bodies can be hurt so badly that to die is what is logical. Yet people HAVE survived. We as Christians preach Jesus resurected i.e., he came back from the dead. Yet, his body isn't around. He stands resurected because his spirit has come back from the dead. If to die is to die physically, then to live is to live physically. How can that be the case if Jesus was resurected? When we let the days simply go by, we are not living our lives. We are physically there, but we are not living! Then death is nothing physical afterall!

concept no 3 : man were created so that he dies in the end.

this one's tough. when it comes to creation of man the only reference material i have is the bible. and guess what? this is what it says about man and his creation;

God created man in his own image; male and female.
God blessed them - then asked them to be fruitful and increase in number.
fill the earth and subdue it.
give them green plant for food.

adam also lived for a long time; 930 years. He died in the end, but why? Also, God never commanded man to die, did he? he said be fruitful and increase in number. That sounds like he's asking us to live.

------------------------------

now here's why i think man dies; if it were about creation, then it was because of sin. God's 'punishment' for sin was death, and as man who has sin in them, they die.

If it were about biology, then it would be about replacement i.e. one has to die so that another may survive.

death itself is a subjective term. when exactly does a person die, and what happens after that? If our spirit truly lives on, then indeed we do not die, we merely exist in a different form.

what do you think? WHY DO WE NEED TO DIE? post up ur comments! but plz post em under comments for this post, and not in my CBox! i might actually phase out that whole Cbox thingy. lol

Happy Birthday!

2008-09-06T22:12:00.004+08:00

phew, what a day i had! i was thinking at the start of the day that it would be a metiocre birthday but boy was i wrong! some birthdays u don't forget and i am pretty darn sure i aint gonna forget my 18th birthday!

i dont have pics, cuz my cybershot phone went flat in the midst of my super-awesome-fantabulous 18th birthday. lol

i wanna thank all of you for remembering and making my birthday something special ^^

i guess when it comes down to my own birthday, a meaningful birthday would be one where i feel cared for and special. mind you i didn't get any gifts (so no comdoms xD) but i had a great time out!

LOVE YA GUYS!

-cheers, aj.

Conversation.

2008-09-04T16:00:00.002+08:00

I was watching the National Geographic channel just now and i found out some cool stuff.

personal grooming has been of great importance for social bonding in primates, but for humans it has given way to soemthing else; conversation. Human speech is a masterpiece of biological evolution. Our speeches are not ilde, as they lead the way to something important; courtship. Ultimately its the intelligence of other people that attracts us. Perhaps our intelligence is not so much for our survival, as much as it is for sex.

lol - who'd knew? i guess i'm lucky i have the gift of the gab then!

For The Love of Tuesday!

2008-09-02T22:30:00.004+08:00

Come close all you blog patrons. Gather round and hear the story of Tuesday.

It has already been 5 years since my buddy left this world. That's right, Tuesday was my buddy and he died when i was 13. Of all the families to adopt a dog, it had to be a muslim family; my muslim (or shld i say, EX muslim) family. As some of you may already know, muslims are not allowed to own dogs. But Tuesday held a special place in my family's heart. Sides, we weren't very much muslims anyways.

A dog was tied to a pole in the basketball court. Depsite the weather, he stood out there, silently hoping his owners would come back. A little boy came not soon after and found the abandoned dog. Seeing how cute it was, he thought he'd bring it home. "Mama, can we keep the dog?" he asked. She said yes, so the dog had a place to sleep for the night. But the fickle decision of the parent soon changed and the boy would in turn have to abandon the dog. Unless, he could give the dog to the animal loving neighbours next door...

They had a cat, so it might be hard. Still he tried. And yes, the family next door took in the dog, seeing as the cat did not try to butcher the dog, or the other way around. The family happily took the dog in, and the dog seemed happy too. It was tuesday, so they called the dog Tuesday.

Tuesday stayed with us for some time. And in that time, his trust in me grew widely, to a point where he trusted me the most in my family. He became my buddy instantaneously. Tuesday was not what i thought a dog would be, meaning he couldn't sit, eat outta a doggy bowl, or even fetch a simple ball. He was a dog with a mind of his own. I'd bring him down on walks often. When i opened the drawers, The little canine hopped around enthusiastically and without care, even sometimes hurting himself in the process. Oh the joy in the animals face. When i brought him down, he'd pull me all the way to the other side of the neighbourhood, as if showing me where he once stayed. Hesitantly i'd pull him back, hoping i didn't meet his owners and have to return him.

As much as all of us loved him, my step-dad hated him. I remember he kicked him once, and Tuesday's back slammed against the back of a wooden sofa. I rushed to help him but he hit me too, so i just brouhgt him into the room.

Not too long after we got him, my buddy got really sick. He started bleeding through the nose and he was blue-black around his tummy. Doctor's couldn't find anything wrong at that moment. Tuesday wasn't toilet trained though, so he'd poop around wherever he wanted to. I came home one day and saw him preparing to leave his CRAP in the middle of the kitchen. I rushed to chase him away but when i got there my heart sank beneath the floor i stood upon. For lying on the floor was not dog poop, but it was a pool of blood, mixed with small traces of faeces. Yes, Tuesday was bleeding on the inside.

Not long after that, he was diagnosed with liver failure. My mom spent hundreds of dollars on medical bills for him to be recovered, but to no avail. It continued for weeks till one day the nurse called us and asked if we wanted to let him go humanely. I saw the tears that formed in her eyes. We knew wat it meant. My little buddy was dying. Maybe thats why people abandoned him in the first place.

He led the life he had always lived with us; walks, sharing our food, occasional jumping around and lots & lots of love. I woke up one day to hear my older my brother wailing in despair. Tuesday had died in his arms. I denied it completely till i felt his cold and breathless body. My buddy was gone this time.

We cremated him but did not keep his ashes. It was too much to hold on to. That week was a hard one. I was alone at home when, for fun, i just called out his name the way i used to when he was alive. I swear i heard his little doggy footsteps running down the living room to where i was, just as he used to do.

But hang on, this is not all a sad story. I posted this up to let people know that untill his last moments with us, he led a happy life and one i'm sure where he felt loved and cared for. Even in the adversity of death, it was our love for the little fella that made us move on. In the end i guess that's what triumphed. I did not regret buying him more stuff, giving him more walks or even toilet training him. What i really felt bad about was that i wished i spent more time with him, cuz i never got to say goodbye.

so i leave you blog patrons with this message; love like there is no tommorrow, because you never know when tommorrow will not come.

and congratulations for being able to read all the way down here! lol
cheers~

Makanan

2008-09-01T23:37:00.001+08:00

Quote of the day

2008-08-31T18:19:00.001+08:00

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon-instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.
-- Dale Carnegie

http://www.great-inspirational-quotes.com/meaningful-quotes.html

Happy Birthday~

2008-08-31T17:22:00.004+08:00

I guess I aint gonna forget, my birthday's coming up. Yet, I ask myself, what does it mean to have a birthday? I guess there are many ways of looking at it.

One perspective would be the age thingy. A birthday means I've grown older. It means I'm ever closer to dying, that I've got more responsibilities, that the carefree life I once had is over and now I've gotta think about my future.

It also means that I've got more freedom now. I can do most of what I wanna do without worrying about the law or parents. It also means that Im supposedly more mature now. That I'm able to shape my life the way I want it to be now.

But that's just one perpective. If u ask me, another would be the purpose of having a birthday. Why DO people celebrate birthdays? Perhaps in one way it could be that we celebrate the miracle of life; that we have been alive all these years and look forward to more years of living. If that's the case, then why do people give presents and throw parties on birthdays? If we are celebrating life, then shouldn't we throw parties for each day we live then?

Perhaps we dont celebrate life then, rather just celebrate the past year and the upcoming one; celebrate the fact that we are growing up. If this is the case then, what is the purpose of giving presents? Maybe giving presents symbolises prosperity/wealth/blessing? I dunno about you, but when people give me presents I definitely feel blessed! ^^

But then there is also a more spititual sense if you look at it. You wonder to yourself, how all these years has passed, and how you have made it all worthwhile. Most people (upon self-reflection) start to change something about themselves, however small it may be. Like last year I learnt I ought to shut up sometimes and just let people do their thing. lol. How then, do we spend a meaningful birthday?

Take a look at my previous post. I guess that guy sure had a meaningful birthday! But are all of us to suddenly feel the obligation of compassion and start charitable organisations? I dont think all of us are capable of it.

In the end it boils down to how u live your life i guess. If money is an important part of your life, then it make sense to throw a glamorous party to show it all off. If you live a more trivial and spiritual life, then reflection and self-improvement seems to make sense too.

I still have no idea of how I'm gonna spend my birthday, and I guess I might spend a few days thinking about it.

As for presents, if anyone does get me one, do get me something useful to me reaching 18 (that means i want a condom! LOL)... I'm no longer a minor now!~

lol.

September Babies!

2008-08-29T17:36:00.005+08:00

I turn 18 soon, on the 5th that is. every year its boring, and hardly anyone remembers let alone celebrates it with me. this year however, i found this amazing cause. i dont even need to say anything, just watch this video.

The September Campaign Trailer from charity: water on Vimeo.

so all of you who're born in september, do take some time to think. let your birthday be a meaningful one. =)

http://www.charitywater.org/birthdays/

Technology made me depressed.

2008-08-24T15:02:00.002+08:00

I've been over-dependant on technology, i've realized, but then again who isn't? I use technology for all the things i do; for entertainment, communication, music, education. Two days ago, during our super-awesome class bbq - where people went crazy and i rediscovered the wonders of the beach, i took a cab home with Shikin, Ryan & LKY. My phone had slide down(im not sure what the past tense of slide is LOL) as i got off the cab and was waaaay to lazy to start it back up.

we all know what happens when my phone slides down; its screen turns white and there goes the phone usage till i can get it woking again. well i left it in my bag and when i got home i tried to start it up again. didn't work. two days passed and ITS STILL NOT WORKING! There goes 200+ contacts, a whole load of sentimental smses, images, videos and music stored on that less than pleasing, disfunctional phone. im utterly distressed that i cant communicate anymore!

i guess there goes any form of communication till i get a new one - which will be not anytime soon, since we dont have any money. as soon as i do get my new phone, do remember to give me ur contact cuz i prolly will have lost all of my contacts. till then, i guess its back to the good ol' days where i send handwritten letters and carrier pigeons.... LOL !

matthew be prepared to find a pigeon landing on ur window ledge to inform u of our top-secret meeting (oops, not so secret anymore).

to all of u who use handphones now, BEWARE! They will turn on you! lol.

'O' Levels are here - how many of us are going to make it?

2008-08-20T22:30:00.003+08:00

I had my oral exam today. It was fairly easy - especially for one like me. The topic was a little unexpected though; hygiene. I couldn't really talk too much about the topic but i am thankful i spoke well enough for the examiners to be entertained, and probably give me good marks for the oral.

The later few students all said it was kinda easy to them too, but the quarantined group didn't think so. I bet some of em panicked during the oral itself.

Since the oral has started, it means the O levels are coming already. This was a start of what is to soon come. People are all saying that they should give their best shot, that they wont be coming back except to collect their certs and see teachers, that's all.

In the back of my mind, i really wondered how many of us would actually make it, and how many would come back to sit in the classrooms of FTPSS again. People say only those that are bad all year round retain, but i don't think thats true anymore - just take a look at me, a living, breathing example.

If having to repeat has taught me anything, it is to not get complacent and not to jump to conlcusions about one's results. Hey, i thought i'd do well last year, and we all know how that turned out!

I sincerely hope no one from our class would repeat the year, because they are all great people who should have a chance to move on with their lives. However, we are 5N2, and it's almost 'tradition' that some students from 5N2 would repeat.

Regardless if i do well or not, i will have to move on. My path is already planned (sketched by me, allowed to happen by God =P). I just hope that my classmates will move on with me.

So for all those of you who read this, FIGHT ON ! We are not down and beaten yet, lets make this exam the best we have ever done. as we say it, JIA YOU !

My dear buddies, lets move on to bigger and better things, together. =)

Monday blues that never came

2008-08-19T00:00:00.003+08:00

It was a good day today, actually. one of the firsts of Mondays that are always dull. I had a long talk wiht Mr God yesterday and i am very glad to say that he didn't disappoint me =)

told a bunch of friends something i've been meaning to get off my chest. glad to see they accepted it, though one of em seemed rather shocked - anyways its about time i told em.

it was a fulfilling day, meaning i did what i had to do and planned and man the feeling is great. Peace of your mind truly is a drug this world cannot replicate.

I watched the national day rally speech today in english. Was rather enlightening o.o - more than what i learn in the textbook, though applying the same concepts and same set of problems.

i found this pic today. i remember capturing it a while back when i played the game. i called it 'the longest update in the world', because thats what it was, the longest update EVERRR ! it took me 8-10 hours i believe. i was going nuts!! @.@

scotty dynamo makes good music!

2008-08-15T20:04:00.003+08:00

go visit scotty dynamo's page on myspace music! i dunno about you guys, but i think his music is kinda cool. u can scroll all the way down there and waste precious seconds of your futile and pathetic life (jokin) or, you could click here;

http://www.scottydynamo.com/

lol. im kidding. do visit the site though =)

why i learn music - so i can become like these guys! =P

2008-08-13T22:36:00.004+08:00

found these videos in youtube. give em a chance and listen to em. =)

@.@

2008-08-12T21:43:00.003+08:00

It can now be deduced that the major scale with four flats is Ab major (Bb, Eb, Ab, Db), that the one with five flats is Db major (Bb, Eb, Ab, Db, Gb,) and that the one with six flats is Gb major (Bb, Eb, Ab, Db, Gb, Cb).
Gb, however, is the enharmonic if F#, and F# (as already seen) is the key note of the scale with six sharps. We seem to have come to a halt: we now have a major key signature for each note on the keyboard, indeed two for one of them (F#/Gb). But if we were to carry on further, we would continue to get enharmonic alternatives. For exaple, if we extend the sequence of keys with sharp key signatures, (G, D, A etc.) we get .....

is it me, or is music theory just getting more chimology with every page i turn? woah @.@ i'm going bonkers lol.

pictures of haikel... LOL

2008-08-07T21:11:00.008+08:00

as requested... 'sexy' pics' of you. LOL

"3 Aug 08, 22:10
haikel^^: come on babe. post some sexay pics of me!"

u guys shoulda been there when i took these pics. i didn't know he was afraid of heights!

this is not exactly hk, but it is something he drew ^^

smile~ ur on candid camera (aj style!)

"mr NP dragonboater"

probably the most sexiest pic of all, olympic gold medalist hk! lol.

u guys like pics, doncha? [part II]

2008-08-03T13:41:00.008+08:00

3 little attention-seekers with attitudes. kinda cute eh? =P

my mom's gotta learn some new poses, doesn't she?

i'm hard at work these days... yeah right!

the best part about this pic is that my hand don't look skinny no more! LOL

i know kim yong would love this pic.

u guys like pics, doncha?

2008-08-02T23:45:00.006+08:00

new buddies and a crazy hair do!

i was emo-ing the other day when i took this pic. recognise the place?

candle lights! too bad the camera couldn't capture what my eyes could.

a tree with a charming personality

i was lying down on the field when i took this pic. tsk tsk, PE too slack le.. NOT! with all those burpese and push-ups?

:)

2008-08-02T23:19:00.002+08:00

made ma glasses today. they're gonna be lime green. kinda cool i guess, but we'll see how it turns out. i hope i can get it by monday.. i cant see a darn thing!

feeling kinda down lately. dunno why. maybe its cuz im lonely :P

hope the week turns out good, and happy birthday Singapore =D

NOT my day.

2008-08-02T00:37:00.004+08:00

It was sooo not my day today. i got very disappointed today. No, not at people, but rather at myself and maybe even God. I can never be angry at the Lord though, he's done waaaay too much for me to get angry at him over just a few issues.

i lost some cash today - and that was for my bus pass. DARN! left it in my cupboard and when i checked today, 50 cents was left in that packet (out of the 27 dollars)
lost my specs too when i was running to sch today. it prolly fell off and i didn't realize it - so yeah, i'm typing even though i cant see the keys on the keyboard or the screen itself. everythings a blur; imma blind man now!
my phone is not working anymore. it's spoilt beyond conditions i that enable NORMAL use of the phone. i cant even call people now without putting them through speakers.
i think its about time i cut my hair. getting a little too long, but i dont trust the hairdressers/stylists/hair NOOBS or whatever u call them. THEY NEVER GIVE ME A CUT I WANT. I cant blame them la, they all seem to not understand english so there's a language barrier. talk about foreign talent. like come on la! come singapore at least learn some conversational english la! -.-'

i realize i need lots of money. living a trivial life is not easy, especially when it jeopardises comfort and living conditions. i'm trying my best to save. somehow, it just doesn't seem enough. so all those of you who call me annorexic and skinny, now u know why im that thin - i can;'t even eat proper meals!

anyways this post is sorta turning into a complaint-post. lol. imma little overwhelmed at the moment, maybe its just the disorientation from not being able to see, or maybe i'm just really agitated.

if u ever walk past the carpark next to the school (the one near the really large field & soccer court) PLEASE LOOK FOR MY SPECS lol. i think it's kinda gone by now, i mean who wouldn't wanna grab a pair of glasses that turn dark under the sun!

one last thing. if u ever call me, or if i have to call u, ur gonna be on speaker so nothing private! - lol. good day to u all!

what a way to kick in the month of august.
aj

Happy Birthday Singapore!

2008-08-01T15:18:00.002+08:00

I know its a little early to start celebrating, but each day i pass the posters, the designs and all the commercials on TV, i get kinda excited and a little nostalgic about NDP.

kim yong asked me today if i missed NDP and he was sure i did. we both have had our times in the parade and i know we both enjoyed it immensely. how much more patriotic can a Singaporean get than to participate in the National Day Parade? it's quite a big thing la, for us lament people to watch it, let alone be part of it.

i kinda miss those days back at Kallang stadium. all those rehearsals, the singing, the crapping around and those super-fond memories. i guess it kinda develops a sense of patriotism and loyalty once u've been in the parade. i've been in it twice i think :P

though it may be early, it's only 8 days away. Happy Birthday Singapore!

lol. don't laugh at me or call me lame for this post. >.<

xD

does this post really need a title?

2008-07-29T22:22:00.002+08:00

dude#1 : So... you wanna meet tonight huh?

dude#2 : Are you ok? you haven't messaged me since that day. did what happen shock you or something?

dude#3 : Been busy. not sure we're gonna work. i need a bottom boi.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

all these just make my eyes roll. i think i got dumped... Or was it the other way around? lol.

prelims are coming up soon, and the stress is catching up on me. the good news is, i JUST MIGHT pass maths time round =D

me and weiqiang took 232 today, and we happened to pass an area i utterly dread. brought back too many memories, not all of em good.

imma different person now, i think. at least i am myself these days. =)

since people keep complaining my blog is wordy, shall keep this post short today. @.@

Something to share.

2008-07-25T23:10:00.003+08:00

I'd like to share a short paragraph from the Bible. It's about times when you face hardships and trouble, when you face things like death and uncertainty. sometimes even saying verse 4 out aloud makes me feel much better.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though i walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no eveil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You annoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

[ Psalms 23 ]

The triumph of life.

2008-07-21T21:51:00.004+08:00

WARNING: long post. read it if you wanna. it's an essay i happened to think up on the spot when i had nothing to blog about :) it'll take you but a few minutes to read it.

--------------------------

Tempratures ranging over the savannah, was a common scene. It was high noon and none, even the allusive hyena, had been spared from the blazing fireball in the sky and its emmisions of intense heat. But despite all the circumstances, despite all the adversities, a miracle was happening; the miracle of birth. It was season now and all the calves had to be born in synchronisation, so they would not be picked off by predators. I stared in amazement as the matriach of the herd stooped to brng forth yet another life into this amazing world we call home. It lasted but a few minutes, but the calf had been born and i could tell it was a male.

Now, it was natural for wild animals to be able to stand soon after birth, they weren't born defenseless like we were. I watched closely the hours passing as the matriach and her family nudged the calf to get up on its feet. After what seemed to be forever, the calf got up on its hind legs, and it seemed like success beamed just across the horizon for the young male. It was shortlived, however. Though the calf stood up on its hind legs, its front ankles were not as strong yet and the poor baby was shuffling around on its knees.

The wild is a cruel world where only the fittest survive, and soon the herd had to move on, with or without the calf bolstering its ranks. The herd took up a slow march towards the distance and i thought it was all over for the calf which was to be taken by predators if it were abandoned. As the giant mass of elephant moved, i noticed some weren't; the matriach herself and one of her daughters had stayed behind with that calf. The herd marched up for what seemed about a hundred metres before it realized it was missing its matriach. Such was the bond between a mother and her child that the matriach would not leave her calf even if it meant she had to stnad by him when no one else would.

At this point i noticed the distraught in the matriach's daughter. She was caught between a dillemna of joining the herd, or rescuing her little brother, who was still struggling on his knees. She walked towards the herd, turned around, walked back towards her brother, then walked back to the herd. At the slightest trumpeting of the calf she would run straight back to his side even if it was just a small cry. It moved my heart.

Days passed as the herd moved very slowly, with the calf still shuffling on its front knees. I did not know elephants would wait this long. The mother walked by his side all this while and when he fell or stopped moving, she would lift him back up with her trunk. I could not bare to leave the herd now. Patience is a virtue that is often underestimated because on the third day of slow desert trotting, the baby elephant stopped moving. The scars and open wounds on its knees were not at all discreet. The herd did not move either. They watched him as if something was going to happen. I steeled myself to observe the death of the beautiful animal that came to know the world just three days before.

The calf let out a small cry, and with the help of its mother, it raised itself onto its front feet, all to my suprise. Was it possible? It didn't seem so because the calf fell straight back down. But that didn't stop him and on his second try it stood up tall, the ground below its feet. Alas, the calf was on its feet walking. It wasted no time at all in discovering its new strength, and within minutes it was running around its parent.

They say elephants dont forget, but to me, it was the elephant that made sure i never forget. Never forget the strength of a family and the miracles that life on this planet can bring. Thinking back to my own family, i often wonder why i did not have the treatment the calf had. Are humans incapable of such noble deeds? Perhaps what we once thought was human did not belong to us in the first place.

---------------------------

thanks to the National Geographic for inspiring me with a real documentary on this. sorry about spelling mistakes lol.

cramp legs and canibalism.

2008-07-16T20:38:00.005+08:00

P.E 2 days in a row is a stupid idea, especially when every tuesday is conditioning. NAFA test over already still must condition for what? Mr. Poon gets kinda crazy over conditioning. i heard last week 2 people puked during his period! anyways, im not gonna get too lenghty with the details of the INSANITY he put us through, just know that i cant take a single step without mentally saying "owww!". I played rugby today though. It was more fun than i had originally expected. my specs fell off ma face a couple of times and it got bent but its all in good sport. Managed to get it bent back anyways. Mr kong taught us the rules of rugby (according to him, what we were previously playing was captains' ball with violence) and it was more fun that way. Just goes to show u, game rules were made for a reason!

anyways kim yong showed me a horribly disgusting, gross, indecent, apalling, inhumane, did i mention DISGUSTING?, story on canibalism. Some japanese dude killed a dutch woman and took pictures of it as he dismembered her body and ate it part by part. What worse is he actually gave vivid descpriptions of those horrid and unnatural acts! *PUKE* i lost my appetite for good. Why do people like that exist? Lord God, what has the world come to? That act makes even being gay soooooo normal! *note to self: stay away from any dismembered bodies ><

I kinda realized then, that killing animals is probably just as brutal and bloody. I saw a youtube video called Old McDonald has a farm - about Mcdonald's having a beef farm in the amazon. It's not that different from the pics of that gross and SICK japanese dude. Then again, we're at the top of the food chain. Still, that dont give us a right to makan our brethren!

I'm not exactly traumatized, but i am disturbed by that story.

p.s. check out my links (its called DONT EVER CLICK ON THESE!). Davey Wavey has got an interesting post about TV. His talky-blog is kinda cool if u ask me; and he even gets cash outta the videos he sells! Though no one can explain why he never wears a shirt xD

and lastly; remember, no matter how hungry you get, dont turn and start munching on the fella next to you. IT'S WRONG PEOPLE!

Old McDonald has a farm (in the amazon)

my first time making cupcakes.. lol

2008-07-10T14:39:00.002+08:00

i'm still sick even as of today. some wierd flu that makes me gasp for breath even as i climb a single flight of stairs. a couple of my online guy buddies are kinda taken back from this; they think i just dont wanna talk to them, not that i cant talk to them cuz im sick. so for those of you who can read, I'M SICK I'M NOT AVOIDING YOU

waning stamina aside, i managed to drag my body to school on wednesday. mr poon allowed me to sit out PE, since i showed him i brought my attire and i went over and asked first before i sat down (unlike some others lol) - i guess he found me sincere? or maybe just some guai kia -.-

we had our probability test that day, and i am happy to say I BREEZED THROUGH IT! Mr Teo's reinforcement in basics really kicked in when i did that test.

Mdm Sri made us do our practical experiment during the last 2 periods, but seeing as we were slow and all it draggged all the way till 4+ that day. boy was she mad. i dont think it was us, maybe it was those sec 2T guys that got on her nerves. often those dudes dont understand that angry teachers take their vengeance out on innocent students like us. i mean how are u supposed to bake good cupcakes when someone is screaming at u to hurry up? all of our products came out well (its a basic recipe of course) except someone's, who didn't follow the recipe and added his own ingredient; CHEMICAL X lol. salty cupcakes are not something u can swallow easily xD

i brought my batch of 18 cupcakes home. at first no one seemed to wanna eat it, but my mom had a go at it. her mouth dropped at the taste of it. she looked sincerely at me and said, "aj, i think you should be a cook..." - my response? BURST OUT IN LAUGHTER!
i told her frankly that i just dont have the skills to become a cook. she continued to argue with me saying that not everyone can make food that taste good and that she herself cant make cupcakes. for those of you who have seen me cook or tasted my food, you tell me... can i really cook? cuz i dont think so lol.

lesson learnt: cupcakes go well with almost any kind of fat, but ghee is a straight out winner! i know ghee sounds kinda gross to bake with but it has a great texture and taste! trust me, its nice. :)

now to have some of those cupcakes... :D

Artistic Music

2008-07-04T22:10:00.004+08:00

I had some free time on my hands and i got into some artwork. I found treble and bass clef images on the net and decided they'd look great together. i spruced it up abit by adding some notations as compliments to the clefs. show some appreciation, i drew em myself! x)

i call it, ma music, cuz well, it's my music! lol. imma put it up at the side of this blog. many thanks to google for the treble and bass clef images!

stuff to make u laugh abit.

2008-07-04T20:00:00.003+08:00

i've realized no one's been tagging me lately. wonder why. o.o

so i decided that today's posts would be a bunch ov videos frm youtube. funny videos
this is hilarious!

tis a treat for all of ya who love cats ^^

For God so loved the world...

2008-07-03T20:13:00.003+08:00

I was watching a documentary on the History Channel just now. The channel is (to me) known for controversial topics in it's documentaries, like todays was called "Muhammad" - guess what it's about?

capturing the life story of the prophet, and showing it on international television, i learned what i had not known about my once obliged religion. Basically it's the same concept as is with Judaism and Christianity, Islam being the last of God's 'prophecying' religion. In the documentary i found out the angel that spoke to the prophet was Gabriel, and that he flew on a 'horse with wings' to meet the other prophets, including Christ.

There was a lot of mention of Adam, Noah, Moses, Abraham and Jesus Christ in the documentary. It struck me once again, how incredibly similar Islam is to Christianity and to Judaism. It does derive from the same root of course, that is, that God is at the root of the religion. One thing that all the 3 'religions' share in common is that "There is only ONE God, and there is none before the LORD". Islam is built on the peace message of Christianity, but also has influence of the jewish belief in justice.

The documentary kinda cleared many of the doubts and questions i had about my former religion, and it isn't all-bad as the world sees it now. one thing is for sure; that THERE IS a God and he STILL EXISTS today. I guess there is no doubt we're all being watched then! lol. In the bible it mentions that God sent his angels over the earth and they came back and reported what was happening on it - this is probably how God watches us? I dunno.

What i do know is that if there ever is a time to believe in the existence of God, it's probably now, especially with everyone prophecying of the imminent doom of the planet. If God does exist, i just wonder; has the world become too much of a desecration for God to claim back any of us?

there's a song that goes "Have you heard? God's not coming back because he has no children to come back to anymore" - i shudder to think thats true, but if it is, then may God help us all.

I guess its a time for reform in my life. I mean man's supposed purpose is to 'please God'. Ultimately it boils down to how much i fear my God. I've experienced what He can do, and yeah i guess i am in awe. I do hope, God would be merciful to the masses of people that inhabit the earth today.

First Judaism, then Christianity and then Islam. I think if God had sent that many people to proclaim to us, i'd say the big guy's sending us a message, don't ya think?

Dearly Beloved, Rest in Peace

2008-07-02T17:41:00.003+08:00

Just wanted to post this out as a shoutout to all of you guys who were 'fans' of our outrageously crappy security guard, mr ayavoo.

Even mr raj seemed kinda sad. wouldn't blame him, he was part of the soccer team that was especially dedicated to him, even named after him.

Ayavoo died of a heart attack on the 30th June, as we were told(he nvr made it to the month of july). He didn't feel well and when he got home, he got the heart attack. The school had no idea he was sick, and no one could see it from his appearance OR his personality. So its kinda a shocker that this happened, to all of us.

He seemed to know everything about anything, about exams, about girls, even about wushu o.o
His knowledge on soccer was unsurpassed too. =)

I said bye to him the day before he left the world (i was heading home from school), which is kinda funny, since i always say "cya" instead of "bye" - who'd knew!

"bye handsome" - wei qiang
"bye sexy" - ayavoo

We have changed many guards before, but none have stayed with us continually like ayavoo. the school paid respects to him with a minute of silence. Who'd knew First Toa Payoh students were capable of being silent for 1 full minute! (some idiot's handphone rang though -.-)

So there you go, a tribute to probably the best security guard our school has had. I know we'll all miss crapping with him. The main gate's awfully quiet without him...

the new guard kinda sucks anyways.

June's out and hello Semester 2 !

2008-06-22T23:13:00.002+08:00

BANG! The Punk-Star sling bag fell on the floor as i concurrently flung the dispensable books behind my back. Every second emanating a low, rhythimic bang in my head, i raced against the ticking to pack all i needed. Talk about last MINUTE packing. 20 secs down, i managed to get all them propaganda books into the barely sufficient bag and i breathed a deep sigh of relief. But then, oh no... i forgot to iron my uniform! WOOSH! Comparable to the speed of light, the ironing board popped into the middle of the room with the iron turned on. Zip-zap zip-zap, and my oppresive clothes were ready to be worn. I kicked off the bed as i twirled in the air and landed on my bed, in a strangely obscene position. I did a mental checklist of what i needed to do. All seemed to be done but then i sat up. There, on the shelf, with hazel light as its backing was a stack of physics worksheets, not packed, let alone done! I went "oh my god @.@"...

ok i guess its a little too dramamtic a way to start this post, but i wanted something a little crappy, but queer. lol. TALK ABOUT ATTENTION GRABBING!

i'm all set for school tmr, and i really hope i can wake up. nightmares, heat, them darn nasty irritating little bedbugs, are all little factors that probe me in my sleep. And then i will hear a cat screaming which will result in me springing up frm my bed to see if little Cleo is still on my bed sleeping next to me.

the horrendous sleep aside, i think im ready for yet another lip-smacking, toe-crunching, mind-boggling, head-twirling, stress-inducing term of school! :D

when i was dramatically packing my bag (NOT! lolz) i saw something i kinda lost a while back. it was this whole "I Am Gifted, So Are You!"™ 36-Hour Action Plan. I know i was supposed to do it after the motivation camp, but i totally forgot and lost that indiscriminate piece of paper. Imma prolly follow it tmr after school. Better late then never!

I guess i'll stop here before i die of an adrenalin rush lolz. i can't believe im breaking a sweat typing a blog post! Well, maybe its cuz the fan isn't on and the room is pretty hot, lolz.

good night and happy stressing over exams everyone!~
=D

Sister Act

2008-06-21T01:32:00.003+08:00

Have you guys heard of the movie Sister Act, and its sequel, Sister Act 2? its a really great movie to watch (to me) and it has its own versions of oldies songs that my mom loves like 'Aint No Mountain High Enough' and 'I Will Follow Him'. what's even more cool (to me again lolz) is that it involves choirs!
courtesy of youtube, i managed to find a couple of vids on a few songs. enjoy the vids above =)

that's what i get for talking too much.

2008-06-20T17:28:00.003+08:00

i got kinda hurt today. i poured my heart to someone. i guess the dude didn't get it. the thing about sharing your troubles, your emotions, your worries, your life - is that you expose a vulnerable side of yourself to that person, and you expect some sort of comfort ( i mean come on, when someone tells you a problem you help to comfort them dont ya?). What if you cant trust that person, or if that person cant comfort you the way you want? Exposed for nothing! Thankfully, the dude i shared to was someone i can trust, but he didn't get it. I mean the things he said just made me .... sad.

I guess it goes to show, you should always choose the people you talk to abt these things and never tell anyone too much. I guess not everyone is adept at problem solving as we think they are, or maybe some have just little EQ. whatever it is, lesson learnt!

STORM

2008-06-18T01:19:00.002+08:00

STORM!
S - Science !
T - Teachers !
O - On !
R - Rescue !
M - Mission !

LOL that is probably the coolest name ever for any workshop i've ever attended (sarcasm xD)
It's the first day of 'me being rescued' and i'm not sure im saved yet LOL. As Mr Choi would say; "ajmal i'm throwing you the rope but you're saying no thank you" - lol.
i walked into the hall and guess what? i saw everybody sitting down in the exam manner and i got stunned. 'are we taking a test?' - i asked teng jin. what a way to start a workshop, with a test!
so its the first day and it started out with EDWIN cheng. His approach to physics is really pragmatic and systematic. well done sir! enriching lesson indeed. But then i got mrs ong (the science HOD) for chemistry. not the best teacher i had xD
by the time i hit Mr. Visualiser i was kinda droppy already (i had only 45 mins sleep the last night). However queer, i managed to stay awake and found his lesson really helpful. who'd knew? lol. He concluded the whole 7 hour workshop and many are claiming they wont come tmr.
I'm not one of em, i know im going, well unless i dont wake up lol. Lets see how day 2 of STORM !! goes. maybe i'd even blog on it.
----------------------------------------------------------
Hey, this is for you.

It's kinda depressing to see that you're still angry with me. i was even more shocked when you everyone was asking "hey you're talking to him already ar?" - o.o
i dunno how to make it up to you. at least you ARE talking to me. what can i say? people do dumb things sometimes. I guess a part of knowing someone is knowing the good and the bad of that person; and i may have shown mine unconciously. i'm sorry once again, and i'll make it up to the two of you. :)

sorry i made you guys wait sooooo long.